I know the year still isn't over, but I doubt anything significant will happen in the next 2 days and since I have woken up at the ass crack of dawn I may as well post a summary of my year. You will now understand why I don't believe anything significant happen in the next 2 days..
February this year was when I came back from Noida. The hell-hole! India's own Gotham City, where McDonalds refuses to deliver after 8:00pm "for security reasons". You never know which hungry murderer maybe lurking in the dark looking for french fries, large coke and a McChicken! I was glad to be back home to Pune, but my work for the first time in my career has been affected majorly by this move. Not something you've not already read about previously...
March was when I got a promotion or at least the excuse for a promotion. I'm still getting paid peanuts! Recession was the most abused excuse in the year 2009. Most of you will agree. People decided not to have babies because of recession! I'm sure the amount they spent on contraceptives would've been more than the cost of having a baby (with all the insurance, you know).
This was also the year of marriages. Three of my cousins got married (Delhi, Simla and Rajasthan), one got engaged and two other friends took the plunge as well. Brave fuckers ("fuckers" being ironically situated in the sentence).
How could I forgot this - I started writing my blog in March and have successfully managed to stay away from social networking. The pressure to join facebook though was like being 1000 meters below sea level (the analogy "sucks", I know!). Somewhere in between I also decided not to have an opinion and since that decision, I think I've done well. But I realise how boring it's getting to write. So, I'm back.
Gona got engaged and Vikram is going to end the year single (unless you can come up with a freakin' miracle dude). Lynell is still the way he is and Tarun has remained married for a year (way to go man!). Rashmi continues to be the female Jim Corbett (only the smart will understand) and Shweta, well, for the sake of my life I will not comment!
Herbert has worked twice this year and Richard worked once too much (I hope this is taken in good humor as it was intended)! I did not meet my goal of finding another job by the end of the year but that's alright 'cause there's always first quarter of 2010 (and then second quarter and so on..)
On the whole, the year has been okay. The past will stay in the past and future will be worked upon in the present.
That's all folks! Happy new year!
P.S. The internet remained to stay working for more than a week! Major bloody achievement of 2009. Long live BSNL!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Still in the game!
I was driving to work today when I stopped at a crossing to let a car pass by. I could see there were two very cute girls sitting in that car, but didn't think of it too much. Suddenly as they crossed me the driver stuck her head out and whistled at me and to top it off it was really loud.
So... I don't know what the right reaction to something like this is. All I could do was smile from ear to ear and carry on with my life.
It wasn't to end there. Apparently the old couple on a scooter behind me saw this and when the old man finally had his chance at over-taking me, he and his wife smiled at me and he called out "aarey hero"!!
Twice in one day, I sat in my car with a feeling I cannot describe. Except that I just could not stop smiling both times. I must look like an idiot to other people.
Looks like I've still got the moves baby! HE HE HE HE..
So... I don't know what the right reaction to something like this is. All I could do was smile from ear to ear and carry on with my life.
It wasn't to end there. Apparently the old couple on a scooter behind me saw this and when the old man finally had his chance at over-taking me, he and his wife smiled at me and he called out "aarey hero"!!
Twice in one day, I sat in my car with a feeling I cannot describe. Except that I just could not stop smiling both times. I must look like an idiot to other people.
Looks like I've still got the moves baby! HE HE HE HE..
Thursday, December 24, 2009
It's the most wonderful time.
Richard's back from the hospital today.
My appraisal discussion went very well (atleast a lot better than I expected).
No work for the next three days.
It has to be the most wonderful time of the year!! Merry Christmas!
My appraisal discussion went very well (atleast a lot better than I expected).
No work for the next three days.
It has to be the most wonderful time of the year!! Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Our fragile lives...
Last night when I got back home from work, my mum told me that my elder brother was admitted in the hospital. He had to be taken there while he was at work. He had high blood pressure and the doctors even suspect he may have had a mild heart attack!
Richard, my elder brother, will not come across as someone who could suffer from this. He stands over 6'2" and is close to 85 kilos and is healthy as a bull (from where I see it). He's normally calm as a cucumber and doesn't really take too much load in life.
I saw him at the hospital (at about 1:30am) and he still had a normal looking smile and looked pretty "pink of health" to me. He asked for a book to read - which tells me he feels absolutely normal.
I don't know what to make of all this. What I do know is that his work stresses him out. Which makes me look back and I remember saying that it's just not worth it.
Our lives are way too fragile. I don't want to spend mine thinking about all the things that went wrong. I don't have the energy anyway. A very good friend of mine had to actually call me up (from very far) and tell me that I have become very wierd. That is just me - recuperating. It's me pulling all that I have together again. My instincts in the past have led me to be like this before knowing I'm going to need it. I know why.
Get well soon Richard!
And all of you out there - no matter how important something you do is to someone else, make sure it's important to you. Keep well.
Richard, my elder brother, will not come across as someone who could suffer from this. He stands over 6'2" and is close to 85 kilos and is healthy as a bull (from where I see it). He's normally calm as a cucumber and doesn't really take too much load in life.
I saw him at the hospital (at about 1:30am) and he still had a normal looking smile and looked pretty "pink of health" to me. He asked for a book to read - which tells me he feels absolutely normal.
I don't know what to make of all this. What I do know is that his work stresses him out. Which makes me look back and I remember saying that it's just not worth it.
Our lives are way too fragile. I don't want to spend mine thinking about all the things that went wrong. I don't have the energy anyway. A very good friend of mine had to actually call me up (from very far) and tell me that I have become very wierd. That is just me - recuperating. It's me pulling all that I have together again. My instincts in the past have led me to be like this before knowing I'm going to need it. I know why.
Get well soon Richard!
And all of you out there - no matter how important something you do is to someone else, make sure it's important to you. Keep well.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Hopeless
I've woken up from my sleep from this crazy dream about work.
Now I'm all awake with these thoughts rushing through my head, wondering what the fuck am I supposed to do tomorrow!
I should not have to punish myself for the short-comings of others. But such is my life. Looking back, I realised I have very often been the victim of someone else's inabilities. I've become a lot more patient and a lot less confident now. This is absolutely unlike me. I can't even say I'm going to fight back. This time I'm out numbered and out (not so) smarted! There are just too many issues to deal with and it's just not worth it.
Maybe these are signs. I don't know. What I do know is that it's making me stronger each day. I'm getting more and more immune to being pushed around.
What they don't understand is that it's not a problem when something goes wrong and I react. It's a problem when something goes wrong and I don't react. I've lost faith in a lot of people. It's good. It's all good!!
P.S. The details are not necessary. Everyone sucks!
Now I'm all awake with these thoughts rushing through my head, wondering what the fuck am I supposed to do tomorrow!
I should not have to punish myself for the short-comings of others. But such is my life. Looking back, I realised I have very often been the victim of someone else's inabilities. I've become a lot more patient and a lot less confident now. This is absolutely unlike me. I can't even say I'm going to fight back. This time I'm out numbered and out (not so) smarted! There are just too many issues to deal with and it's just not worth it.
Maybe these are signs. I don't know. What I do know is that it's making me stronger each day. I'm getting more and more immune to being pushed around.
What they don't understand is that it's not a problem when something goes wrong and I react. It's a problem when something goes wrong and I don't react. I've lost faith in a lot of people. It's good. It's all good!!
P.S. The details are not necessary. Everyone sucks!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The idle mind
These days I hardly have any work in office. I just sit around and do almost nothing and I must be damn darned brave or stupid to write this just before my appraisal. (Yes, where I work appraisals period is Jan to Dec not Apr to Mar like most other places - It's our attempt at being different. Oh, but the salary hike takes effect only in April).
I also have this crazy knack of getting bored too easily. I'm bored most of the time. I get bored of people, places, work and even if something fun is happening for too long, I'd be bored! So you see this talent of mine coupled with no work makes me a very dangerous entity. I sit all day and think about how I can get rid of my job or how I can do something fun (which will eventually turn out boring).
Then there is Ninja! My absolute favourite game in the world right now. Simple as ABC but exciting as... well, Ninja. I would go into describing the game right now but I know how interested everybody is about reading that. I sometimes spend almost 6 or 7 hours at playing it (and looking back at my post, yes, I must be very stupid to say all this before the appraisal). Okay, now I'm bored of writing this post.
The appraisal discussion is on Thursday. My boss is a nice man so I shall not pour my heart out. In any case it's only a 30 minute discussion. So there goes.. All the best Martin!
I also have this crazy knack of getting bored too easily. I'm bored most of the time. I get bored of people, places, work and even if something fun is happening for too long, I'd be bored! So you see this talent of mine coupled with no work makes me a very dangerous entity. I sit all day and think about how I can get rid of my job or how I can do something fun (which will eventually turn out boring).
Then there is Ninja! My absolute favourite game in the world right now. Simple as ABC but exciting as... well, Ninja. I would go into describing the game right now but I know how interested everybody is about reading that. I sometimes spend almost 6 or 7 hours at playing it (and looking back at my post, yes, I must be very stupid to say all this before the appraisal). Okay, now I'm bored of writing this post.
The appraisal discussion is on Thursday. My boss is a nice man so I shall not pour my heart out. In any case it's only a 30 minute discussion. So there goes.. All the best Martin!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
It's Alive!!
The internet is finally working at home! So what if that took 2 months? So what if it meant several trips to the office of the ISP? So what if we've reached a stage where we can be happy it works rather than pissed it took so long!
Expect more action on the blog!
Expect more action on the blog!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm back & a retraction
And my holiday is over. The evidence of which is the 789 unread e-mails.
I find it interesting when people tell you to take some time off if you're stressed at work. Do they ever think of what happens when you come back from that time off? The shit hits the ceiling!!
Retraction...
In my last post I mentioned that I received feedback for my posts being very long and boring unlike Vikram's so I will write about random stuff with no opinion.
I did not mean that Vikram's post are random and have no opinion. Anyone who follows his blog will tell you that his post are certainly not random and he takes opinion to another level altogether (in a good way). It was my lame attempt at humor which obviously is also cock-eyed! Sorry Vik! Keep the funnies coming.
P.S. Since my vacation to Rajasthan and Amritsar was purely for family affairs I don't have much to say about it. It was good. No news is good news I guess.
I find it interesting when people tell you to take some time off if you're stressed at work. Do they ever think of what happens when you come back from that time off? The shit hits the ceiling!!
Retraction...
In my last post I mentioned that I received feedback for my posts being very long and boring unlike Vikram's so I will write about random stuff with no opinion.
I did not mean that Vikram's post are random and have no opinion. Anyone who follows his blog will tell you that his post are certainly not random and he takes opinion to another level altogether (in a good way). It was my lame attempt at humor which obviously is also cock-eyed! Sorry Vik! Keep the funnies coming.
P.S. Since my vacation to Rajasthan and Amritsar was purely for family affairs I don't have much to say about it. It was good. No news is good news I guess.
Friday, November 13, 2009
I?m going away!!!
I?m on vacation from 16th Nov to 23rd Nov and then we?re off for Thanksgiving (yes, Thanksgiving) on the 26th and 27th Nov. Which mean I technically have only 3 working days left this month.
I know it?s not important. But it?s worth 20 posts on my blog to me and maybe when I come back I can pursue opportunities! It all feels so good!
In other news, I?ve received feedback saying that my posts are too long and boring (unlike Vikram?s). So I?ve decided that going forward I shall write about absolutely random stuff with no opinion of my own. You see when the going gets tough, the tough get going (does that count as opinion?). Whatever?
I worked on my birthday which a lot of people thought was extremely boring of me, including people at office. Well, what the fuck do you expect me to do on a Tuesday? Let?s see. That?s exactly the kind of day all my friends would be available for me to go out and party with. The birthday resolution BTW was to stop being sarcastic. It?s working as well as GPRS in old Delhi. You get the point?
Also, I received no gifts on my birthday and Gona still hasn?t wished. I?m not a sucker for birthdays, so I don?t care about it.
I can now post on my blog from office thanks to igoogle. I don?t need to access blogger (which is blocked). So this is me explaining why my future posts are going to be filled with frustration, anger and helplessness. The problem is I can?t read anyone?s blogs or comments on mine. The internet connection should have been fixed 2 weeks ago and then reality slapped India into my face. I?m not going to complain about it anymore.
That?s the latest.
P.S. I?ll be in Rajasthan for my vacation and if I feel like I may put some pictures here. Important is ?if I feel like?. I doubt I will. That?s not opinion, it?s me.
Have a good week.
I know it?s not important. But it?s worth 20 posts on my blog to me and maybe when I come back I can pursue opportunities! It all feels so good!
In other news, I?ve received feedback saying that my posts are too long and boring (unlike Vikram?s). So I?ve decided that going forward I shall write about absolutely random stuff with no opinion of my own. You see when the going gets tough, the tough get going (does that count as opinion?). Whatever?
I worked on my birthday which a lot of people thought was extremely boring of me, including people at office. Well, what the fuck do you expect me to do on a Tuesday? Let?s see. That?s exactly the kind of day all my friends would be available for me to go out and party with. The birthday resolution BTW was to stop being sarcastic. It?s working as well as GPRS in old Delhi. You get the point?
Also, I received no gifts on my birthday and Gona still hasn?t wished. I?m not a sucker for birthdays, so I don?t care about it.
I can now post on my blog from office thanks to igoogle. I don?t need to access blogger (which is blocked). So this is me explaining why my future posts are going to be filled with frustration, anger and helplessness. The problem is I can?t read anyone?s blogs or comments on mine. The internet connection should have been fixed 2 weeks ago and then reality slapped India into my face. I?m not going to complain about it anymore.
That?s the latest.
P.S. I?ll be in Rajasthan for my vacation and if I feel like I may put some pictures here. Important is ?if I feel like?. I doubt I will. That?s not opinion, it?s me.
Have a good week.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
27
That's how old I am today. Two years on the wrong side of 25. Too much pressure comes with this age. I feel I still have so much to do before I turn the corner to being 30. This really sucks!
Well, Happy Birthday to me!
P.S. If a soothsayer said you have another couple of years to live would you still want to be wished "Happy" birthday?
Well, Happy Birthday to me!
P.S. If a soothsayer said you have another couple of years to live would you still want to be wished "Happy" birthday?
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Feeling... of hope
It's nice to meet Vikram every once in a while...
I feel hopeful about a lot of stuff again. I wish for everyone to have a friend like I do. I wish him the best. I know he'll always be there and for my part I'll go to last corner of hell for him. I'm blessed, I know.
Thanks Vik, for being Vik.
P.S. Written with 4 beers down and not at all high.
I feel hopeful about a lot of stuff again. I wish for everyone to have a friend like I do. I wish him the best. I know he'll always be there and for my part I'll go to last corner of hell for him. I'm blessed, I know.
Thanks Vik, for being Vik.
P.S. Written with 4 beers down and not at all high.
The Rainmaker
Something brought this incident back to me today…
We were in 6th Grade when one of the guys told someone that he could make it rain whenever he wanted!! The second guy walked up to our Math teacher and told him about this. Now our math teacher was an absolute sadist. The kind who would wack us with hockey sticks on our bottoms! Also, he was apparently a devout Christian who didn’t take blasphemy very well (obviously). Except when he was pissed off he’d say, “You’re going to wish to God you were never born”. Most people would break down at that sentence.
Anyway, so the teacher was really amused at this claim of making it rain whenever this guys wants. He called this boy right up to the front of the class, pulled out a hockey stick and told him, “Make it rain”. The boy turned around and said that it doesn’t work that way. He can only do it on certain days. (Did I mention the teacher and this boy in my personal opinion were intellectually challenged?) Now this man is freakin’ pissed off at this tall and confident claim! So he turns to this guys (remember it was 6th grade) and tells him, “I’ll crack your skull if you don’t make it rain”. I’m going to tell you at the end of this post what I thought of the entire episode. So keep reading.
Now our rainmaker is shitting green! He knows if he doesn’t do something quick he going to get the beating of his life; that’s when he decides to faint! Obviously, faking it. Our teacher freaks out thinking this boy fainted because he was so scared and he throws a hapless fit screaming for someone to take the boy to the infirmary. Somehow all of in class knew that the little fuck was faking it. A couple of guys carried this guy out of class in the stretcher position, walked 2 floors down, when our hero decides to wake up and tell them he’s just lying. And what did they do? They carried him in the same position back to class and told this teacher.
Our teacher felt like a complete idiot now. It’s not every day that you make an ass of yourself in front of fifty 12 year olds. Out comes the hockey stick again and the verdict is “best of 5” (which means you get 5 shots on your ass with the hockey. The worst is best of 6, so you can imagine the extent of the crime). 1, 2, 3 (aaaah), 4 (sir, pleeeeease, sorry) and “slam” 5!! The boy went crying back to his seat. The bell rang for the class to be over. Our teacher stepped out of the class. It rained.
Thinking back – I remember thinking what a nincompoop adult gets personal with a 12 year old and what even bigger idiot claims he can make it rain. But the biggest idiot of them all is the guy who complained to our teacher. It was July and it would have rained sooner or later!
The teacher walked back into our class looked at this guys who’s holding his ass in both his hands and says, “Shit, how did you do that” (If vehicles could be fueled on stupidity – this man could make a trip to the moon and back, EVERYDAY!)
P.S. The girl said she can make the sun shine on an overcast day. Yeah, the sun did shine 3 hours later.
We were in 6th Grade when one of the guys told someone that he could make it rain whenever he wanted!! The second guy walked up to our Math teacher and told him about this. Now our math teacher was an absolute sadist. The kind who would wack us with hockey sticks on our bottoms! Also, he was apparently a devout Christian who didn’t take blasphemy very well (obviously). Except when he was pissed off he’d say, “You’re going to wish to God you were never born”. Most people would break down at that sentence.
Anyway, so the teacher was really amused at this claim of making it rain whenever this guys wants. He called this boy right up to the front of the class, pulled out a hockey stick and told him, “Make it rain”. The boy turned around and said that it doesn’t work that way. He can only do it on certain days. (Did I mention the teacher and this boy in my personal opinion were intellectually challenged?) Now this man is freakin’ pissed off at this tall and confident claim! So he turns to this guys (remember it was 6th grade) and tells him, “I’ll crack your skull if you don’t make it rain”. I’m going to tell you at the end of this post what I thought of the entire episode. So keep reading.
Now our rainmaker is shitting green! He knows if he doesn’t do something quick he going to get the beating of his life; that’s when he decides to faint! Obviously, faking it. Our teacher freaks out thinking this boy fainted because he was so scared and he throws a hapless fit screaming for someone to take the boy to the infirmary. Somehow all of in class knew that the little fuck was faking it. A couple of guys carried this guy out of class in the stretcher position, walked 2 floors down, when our hero decides to wake up and tell them he’s just lying. And what did they do? They carried him in the same position back to class and told this teacher.
Our teacher felt like a complete idiot now. It’s not every day that you make an ass of yourself in front of fifty 12 year olds. Out comes the hockey stick again and the verdict is “best of 5” (which means you get 5 shots on your ass with the hockey. The worst is best of 6, so you can imagine the extent of the crime). 1, 2, 3 (aaaah), 4 (sir, pleeeeease, sorry) and “slam” 5!! The boy went crying back to his seat. The bell rang for the class to be over. Our teacher stepped out of the class. It rained.
Thinking back – I remember thinking what a nincompoop adult gets personal with a 12 year old and what even bigger idiot claims he can make it rain. But the biggest idiot of them all is the guy who complained to our teacher. It was July and it would have rained sooner or later!
The teacher walked back into our class looked at this guys who’s holding his ass in both his hands and says, “Shit, how did you do that” (If vehicles could be fueled on stupidity – this man could make a trip to the moon and back, EVERYDAY!)
P.S. The girl said she can make the sun shine on an overcast day. Yeah, the sun did shine 3 hours later.
We, The Indians!
We, The Indians are an absolute rare sample of humanity. Don’t get me wrong yet. Read on and if you look inside you (it’s not so melodramatic) you’ll agree with me.
We are crazily in awe of white skin. Where else in the world do you find “Fair and Lovely”? Most western countries have tanning products!! They even have tanning places. When I was in the US I saw at least 50 of these shops in a small town close to Chicago. It was called “Beach Bum” (the shop not the town). They asked me if we have those in India, I told them that the entire country is “Beach Bum”! Some where inside we (especially the men) know that they love our tan and a lot of people I know have got a lot of booty for it! Yet we all want to be fair…
Let’s not even get into accents. I think it’s like a part of growing up as Indian kids! It’s like some weird hormone takes over at the age of 16 where everyone has a twang or a stiff upper lip! Until they meet someone who has a real accent and then end up speaking with the real Indian accent which the westerners find extremely cute (hot in some cases)! But our obsession with “How ya doin’ maye (mate)” never ends…
We all want to end up working for some non-Indian mutli-national firm. We treat our western counter parts like Gods! Their word is the gospel (and more). But deep inside us we know how stupid they are and how little they know. Math is like an alien language for them. Yet we suck up to them like they are the last hope we have…
Traveling abroad is always so high on every Indian’s agenda and dream. We forget to see the beauty in our own country. We forget we have the mountains, the seas, the deserts and the north-east. Honestly, I didn’t find anything so great about being abroad. Except that it’s very clean and organized and mostly kept that way by the Indians who stay there. I wonder what happens to us in our own country???
I’m not trying to be patriotic here. I’m probably one of the least patriotic people and one of the most likely to leave this country. But I don’t obsess with fair skin, fancy accents, stupid westerners and foreign lands! I like being Indian for reasons that I think only Indians can know (try buying 5 cigarettes in the US). I love the idea of wada-pav and samosas. I love the thought of being able to ride a bike to everywhere without worrying which part of the road I should be on. I love the part where because of my extremely skewed academic system I’m good with numbers. I’m happy my balls don’t freeze every year for three months (those thermals can be very itchy by the way).
I may leave this country but I’ll surely let every one know where ever I am, what Indians are made of!
P.S. I read recently that Indians are residents of all countries in the world, save for 3. I wonder what they’re doing in Somalia.
We are crazily in awe of white skin. Where else in the world do you find “Fair and Lovely”? Most western countries have tanning products!! They even have tanning places. When I was in the US I saw at least 50 of these shops in a small town close to Chicago. It was called “Beach Bum” (the shop not the town). They asked me if we have those in India, I told them that the entire country is “Beach Bum”! Some where inside we (especially the men) know that they love our tan and a lot of people I know have got a lot of booty for it! Yet we all want to be fair…
Let’s not even get into accents. I think it’s like a part of growing up as Indian kids! It’s like some weird hormone takes over at the age of 16 where everyone has a twang or a stiff upper lip! Until they meet someone who has a real accent and then end up speaking with the real Indian accent which the westerners find extremely cute (hot in some cases)! But our obsession with “How ya doin’ maye (mate)” never ends…
We all want to end up working for some non-Indian mutli-national firm. We treat our western counter parts like Gods! Their word is the gospel (and more). But deep inside us we know how stupid they are and how little they know. Math is like an alien language for them. Yet we suck up to them like they are the last hope we have…
Traveling abroad is always so high on every Indian’s agenda and dream. We forget to see the beauty in our own country. We forget we have the mountains, the seas, the deserts and the north-east. Honestly, I didn’t find anything so great about being abroad. Except that it’s very clean and organized and mostly kept that way by the Indians who stay there. I wonder what happens to us in our own country???
I’m not trying to be patriotic here. I’m probably one of the least patriotic people and one of the most likely to leave this country. But I don’t obsess with fair skin, fancy accents, stupid westerners and foreign lands! I like being Indian for reasons that I think only Indians can know (try buying 5 cigarettes in the US). I love the idea of wada-pav and samosas. I love the thought of being able to ride a bike to everywhere without worrying which part of the road I should be on. I love the part where because of my extremely skewed academic system I’m good with numbers. I’m happy my balls don’t freeze every year for three months (those thermals can be very itchy by the way).
I may leave this country but I’ll surely let every one know where ever I am, what Indians are made of!
P.S. I read recently that Indians are residents of all countries in the world, save for 3. I wonder what they’re doing in Somalia.
Giving Up
I’d be lying if I say I’m not the quitting types. Anyone who says that would be lying. Patience after all, is a limited resource.
I’m trying to think of the many times that I have quit or given up. It could be on a simple task or complicated people. I’m trying to think of the times that may have mattered. I can find so many incidents where I just ran away or stopped trying. Honestly, I think it turned out alright but I just wonder what would’ve happened if I’d just kept on at it.
Winner never quit they say. Well okay, I’m not the winner types either then. I’m the type who’ll face something, know if I can deal with it or not and then just run away if needed. I’ve known people who always preached about never giving up and fighting till the last drop of blood in you and all that, but I think sometimes it’s a smarter decision to let go.
So, you’re wondering what’s all this about. You want to read the famous catch in the post? You think I’m going to say something smart? Huh? Well I ask you this – how can I say anything smart in a post that talks about me being a person who gives up on stuff. I know this is not the most self respecting thing to talk about, but it’s the truth. Personally I believe that everyone is like this. At some point or another we all give up. The one’s that don’t are called martyrs and certainly not Martins!
Let’s from here on stop referring to this act as giving up or quitting or running away. From now we shall call it “making choices”. So I was talking about the choices I’ve made. I think we should feel lucky that we have choices. When some one in a senior position in my company leaves they call it “pursuing opportunities”. My Foot!
So here’s the reason for this post. I’m soon going to “make choices” with my job. I just can’t handle the bureaucracy and convenient leadership. I’m tired of dragging the dead weight of incompetent people and receiving shit for work they can’t do. My job is the role I always wanted – but not in this place for sure. I’m going to pursue opportunities. I hope I find the opportunities though!
Who ever said winner don’t quit was lying through his teeth. I think winners make the right choices (unless of course they fight cancer or something like that).
Think about this – Winners never make choices or winners never pursue opportunities. Tell me now, don’t you agree it’s a load of monkey crap!
I’m trying to think of the many times that I have quit or given up. It could be on a simple task or complicated people. I’m trying to think of the times that may have mattered. I can find so many incidents where I just ran away or stopped trying. Honestly, I think it turned out alright but I just wonder what would’ve happened if I’d just kept on at it.
Winner never quit they say. Well okay, I’m not the winner types either then. I’m the type who’ll face something, know if I can deal with it or not and then just run away if needed. I’ve known people who always preached about never giving up and fighting till the last drop of blood in you and all that, but I think sometimes it’s a smarter decision to let go.
So, you’re wondering what’s all this about. You want to read the famous catch in the post? You think I’m going to say something smart? Huh? Well I ask you this – how can I say anything smart in a post that talks about me being a person who gives up on stuff. I know this is not the most self respecting thing to talk about, but it’s the truth. Personally I believe that everyone is like this. At some point or another we all give up. The one’s that don’t are called martyrs and certainly not Martins!
Let’s from here on stop referring to this act as giving up or quitting or running away. From now we shall call it “making choices”. So I was talking about the choices I’ve made. I think we should feel lucky that we have choices. When some one in a senior position in my company leaves they call it “pursuing opportunities”. My Foot!
So here’s the reason for this post. I’m soon going to “make choices” with my job. I just can’t handle the bureaucracy and convenient leadership. I’m tired of dragging the dead weight of incompetent people and receiving shit for work they can’t do. My job is the role I always wanted – but not in this place for sure. I’m going to pursue opportunities. I hope I find the opportunities though!
Who ever said winner don’t quit was lying through his teeth. I think winners make the right choices (unless of course they fight cancer or something like that).
Think about this – Winners never make choices or winners never pursue opportunities. Tell me now, don’t you agree it’s a load of monkey crap!
Things people say
A guy walked up to me the other day asking for a cigarette. When I flipped open my packet to him – he just casually pulled out a one and said, “I own you”. What???? I was freakin’ offended! I could sock his teeth out! Anyway, I just let it go and carried on with my life…
He walked up to me a few days later and this time I was about to put my lit cigarette up his if he decided to own me anymore! He handed me a cigarette and said, “Here’s the one that I own you”. My anger changed to amusement, I gave him back his cigarette and told him he doesn’t “owe” me anything!
A colleague in office was tired from fasting the entire day. He sent me a message asking, “Are you Hungary”. I replied saying, “No I’m India”. He obviously didn’t get it and no, we didn’t conquer the country together that evening.
One of the trainers in a team that I work with sent out an email to the technology team asking them to inform him when a particular request was complete. “Please intimidate me when this is complete”. (Come here you idiot and I’ll intimidate you)
I have a personal contribution too. And in what style. A vice-president asked me what time I usually work so we could schedule an interview. I mailed him back with the following information. “My shit starts at 8:30am and finishes at 5:30pm”. (I’m the worst case of Diarrhea multiplied 5 times). I only understood when he mailed back asking if that’s how I manage to remain so thin! I replied “Sorry, I meant my shift”.
And here’s my absolute favorite. A new Assistant Manager joined us. My boss asked him to send out some information to one of our clients with a CC to him. The client unsure of who the new assistant manager was mailed back asking who it was that sent the mail. My boss in a generous mood of including all our clients, senior management and us decided to introduce him as “Please welcome John Doe, our new Ass. Manager who will be working under me initially and will eventually move under Jane Smith” (Lucky John, Jane was kind of cute. I wonder what his job description says – “cleans bum to a sparkle”).
P.S. All the above incidents are true. Some were just typo horrors and some God’s creation horrors. I’ll update this as I remember more. It’s just funny how these things sound!
*Names changed in the last incident to protect identity.
He walked up to me a few days later and this time I was about to put my lit cigarette up his if he decided to own me anymore! He handed me a cigarette and said, “Here’s the one that I own you”. My anger changed to amusement, I gave him back his cigarette and told him he doesn’t “owe” me anything!
A colleague in office was tired from fasting the entire day. He sent me a message asking, “Are you Hungary”. I replied saying, “No I’m India”. He obviously didn’t get it and no, we didn’t conquer the country together that evening.
One of the trainers in a team that I work with sent out an email to the technology team asking them to inform him when a particular request was complete. “Please intimidate me when this is complete”. (Come here you idiot and I’ll intimidate you)
I have a personal contribution too. And in what style. A vice-president asked me what time I usually work so we could schedule an interview. I mailed him back with the following information. “My shit starts at 8:30am and finishes at 5:30pm”. (I’m the worst case of Diarrhea multiplied 5 times). I only understood when he mailed back asking if that’s how I manage to remain so thin! I replied “Sorry, I meant my shift”.
And here’s my absolute favorite. A new Assistant Manager joined us. My boss asked him to send out some information to one of our clients with a CC to him. The client unsure of who the new assistant manager was mailed back asking who it was that sent the mail. My boss in a generous mood of including all our clients, senior management and us decided to introduce him as “Please welcome John Doe, our new Ass. Manager who will be working under me initially and will eventually move under Jane Smith” (Lucky John, Jane was kind of cute. I wonder what his job description says – “cleans bum to a sparkle”).
P.S. All the above incidents are true. Some were just typo horrors and some God’s creation horrors. I’ll update this as I remember more. It’s just funny how these things sound!
*Names changed in the last incident to protect identity.
The Basketball Theory
I started playing ball when I was 13 and have had the fortune of playing with some of the best players of the game I know (in Pune). These guys have at some time or other said things which would stick in my head for many many years. Some were just incidents. These were simple but great lessons. This will be a rather boring post in comparison to some of the other stuff I’ve written. But it’s my blog and I feel this should have been one of my earliest entries. This is how it’ll flow – I write about the incident and then the lesson I was taught. À la Aesop’s fables.
At age 14 I was playing in what I called my home court. The AFMC. After a couple years I could beat most people at a 3 pointer contest on this court. No, I wasn’t that good by then, it was the practice there. A senior team called the 101 (one-o-one) battalion was playing against the AFMC team while I sat along the sides and watched. The 101 team would always be one of the greatest teams I’d watched playing the game. They were like synchronized dancers. They played the game with the grace of ballet dancers.
When they fell a player short and when a guy from the team asked me if I wanted to join them. I looked at him as if he’d asked me out and nodded my head affirmatively (my heart wanted to say no). Clifford was the probably the best among the team. I played with them for the next 30 minutes or so and I wasn’t even bad. The game was won and we sat down along the side-lines when Cliff turned to me and said, “I’ve seen you play on the other side with those kids – you play well. If you want to be better never play with people of your standard or below. Find better players”. That was lesson 1.
The year was 1998. I was playing in the school team at Pune region. This is where I would meet my most unlikely basketball partner. He and I played on the same team for 5 years. 2 years in school and 3 years in college. Amrit – the baby faced assassin. It was strange – I did not even know his name when we started playing and by the end of it between the both of us we had torn apart the defense of several teams. What I loved about playing alongside him was his ability to sense an improvisation by reading my expressions. We made an awesome two-some (at basketball).
Two years later – Amrit and I joined college together. A personal minor tragedy in the 12th standard results made us thick friends. We walked into the college court with two guys called Anand and Sarang playing 1 on 1. They asked if we “knew” how to play and wanted to join them in a 2 on 2 half court. Race to 20 baskets. We won 20 – 2. Anand and Sarang were the college team captain and vice-captain respectively. We found this out after we’d thrashed them and their ego. “Ignorance is bliss”. That was lesson 2.
I left this one to be the last but this was certainly the most important lesson. Lynell and I were played football with a team called Genesis. The guys decided to play at a local district level basketball tournament the following weekend. This was the summer of 1999. We were 5 guys who were to play the tournament with 2 more people from AFMC. In all a team of 7 to play a “dawn to dusk”. Anyone with any knowledge of the game will tell you having just 7 people, is a very bad idea. The main guys in that team were Sandesh and Suraj. These guys have been friend since they were like kids. They’re about 13 or 14 years older than me and carried the reputation of Stockton and Malone.
I’m going to cut this one short (realizing it is in fact very boring). So we reached the semi-finals of this tournament where we played 101. Sandesh sat by the side eating bananas before the game and asked me to chill. “Marange” is what is he said. This was a team of demi gods he was talking about. Sure enough we beat them by 1 point. I’d meet Clifford the next day and he told me Sandesh taught him and almost everyone else on the team how to play when they were kids. “Don’t teach daddy (respect the experience)”. That was lesson 3.
I can’t say I apply any of these to my everyday life. The game taught me a lot of things. The most important ones being to never give up and always have a strategy.
To think about it – basketball as a game teaches you not to use your strengths so much as to use your opponent’s weakness to win. Strange - it never occurred to me in all these years.
At age 14 I was playing in what I called my home court. The AFMC. After a couple years I could beat most people at a 3 pointer contest on this court. No, I wasn’t that good by then, it was the practice there. A senior team called the 101 (one-o-one) battalion was playing against the AFMC team while I sat along the sides and watched. The 101 team would always be one of the greatest teams I’d watched playing the game. They were like synchronized dancers. They played the game with the grace of ballet dancers.
When they fell a player short and when a guy from the team asked me if I wanted to join them. I looked at him as if he’d asked me out and nodded my head affirmatively (my heart wanted to say no). Clifford was the probably the best among the team. I played with them for the next 30 minutes or so and I wasn’t even bad. The game was won and we sat down along the side-lines when Cliff turned to me and said, “I’ve seen you play on the other side with those kids – you play well. If you want to be better never play with people of your standard or below. Find better players”. That was lesson 1.
The year was 1998. I was playing in the school team at Pune region. This is where I would meet my most unlikely basketball partner. He and I played on the same team for 5 years. 2 years in school and 3 years in college. Amrit – the baby faced assassin. It was strange – I did not even know his name when we started playing and by the end of it between the both of us we had torn apart the defense of several teams. What I loved about playing alongside him was his ability to sense an improvisation by reading my expressions. We made an awesome two-some (at basketball).
Two years later – Amrit and I joined college together. A personal minor tragedy in the 12th standard results made us thick friends. We walked into the college court with two guys called Anand and Sarang playing 1 on 1. They asked if we “knew” how to play and wanted to join them in a 2 on 2 half court. Race to 20 baskets. We won 20 – 2. Anand and Sarang were the college team captain and vice-captain respectively. We found this out after we’d thrashed them and their ego. “Ignorance is bliss”. That was lesson 2.
I left this one to be the last but this was certainly the most important lesson. Lynell and I were played football with a team called Genesis. The guys decided to play at a local district level basketball tournament the following weekend. This was the summer of 1999. We were 5 guys who were to play the tournament with 2 more people from AFMC. In all a team of 7 to play a “dawn to dusk”. Anyone with any knowledge of the game will tell you having just 7 people, is a very bad idea. The main guys in that team were Sandesh and Suraj. These guys have been friend since they were like kids. They’re about 13 or 14 years older than me and carried the reputation of Stockton and Malone.
I’m going to cut this one short (realizing it is in fact very boring). So we reached the semi-finals of this tournament where we played 101. Sandesh sat by the side eating bananas before the game and asked me to chill. “Marange” is what is he said. This was a team of demi gods he was talking about. Sure enough we beat them by 1 point. I’d meet Clifford the next day and he told me Sandesh taught him and almost everyone else on the team how to play when they were kids. “Don’t teach daddy (respect the experience)”. That was lesson 3.
I can’t say I apply any of these to my everyday life. The game taught me a lot of things. The most important ones being to never give up and always have a strategy.
To think about it – basketball as a game teaches you not to use your strengths so much as to use your opponent’s weakness to win. Strange - it never occurred to me in all these years.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Last 5 posts
The last 5 posts were written from Vikram's house on Vandana's laptop! Vandy by the way is Vikram's sister.
The internet never seems to work at home when I want it to.
Well.. Vikram's ankle is hurt and so he won't drink. I only wish Vik you would have played some sport and then a twisted ankle would not have been worth so many posts on your blog. Get over it!
Anyway.. Get well soon.. We need to get trashed next weekend! Cheers!
The internet never seems to work at home when I want it to.
Well.. Vikram's ankle is hurt and so he won't drink. I only wish Vik you would have played some sport and then a twisted ankle would not have been worth so many posts on your blog. Get over it!
Anyway.. Get well soon.. We need to get trashed next weekend! Cheers!
I miss you..
I miss you very much. I wake up and go to bed with this feeling. Though I may smile and laugh and seem to have a good time, you’re always in the back of my head. I never stop thinking about you.
I remember so many things about you that now I realized how much I could have loved you if only I knew then what I’d feel today. I only wanted you to be a little better.
I miss your innocence and the simplicity in your life. Nothing was complicated about you – I only understand now. You had the biggest heart. You’re parents were so proud of you. You have the greatest friends in the world and I can only be thankful to God, they’re still around you.
What I loved most about you was how you never cared about little things. Your hair was a mess and you know it – but you knew you were still attractive. You may not have been the best looking person but you walked without a care. You cared so much about your family and they trusted you with their life. Your life revolved around the simple pleasures of Ice-cream and Friday evening movies. The girls and boys appreciated you just as much while you remained yourself.
I remember so vividly the times you’d be by yourself and still feel complete. I know now why you were always so happy. You never needed anyone, but you always had someone.
I wish I could be like you. But I know I will never be. No matter how hard I try, I look back and realize you were still a step ahead. I questioned you so many times back then but today I know you were always right. You may have seemed immature then but I can’t remember a wrong decision you made.
Today, I can only wish I could go back and tell you that you were right. I know how you felt those days when you were made to believe you were wrong. You’re ambitions were good, you’re heart was clean and you loved without repent. I want to say thank you for being in my thoughts, so I can still look back and ask myself what you would do when times were bad. I know not too much has changed – all I have to do is ask you.
I really miss you so much Martin at age 16.
P.S. Think about it!
I remember so many things about you that now I realized how much I could have loved you if only I knew then what I’d feel today. I only wanted you to be a little better.
I miss your innocence and the simplicity in your life. Nothing was complicated about you – I only understand now. You had the biggest heart. You’re parents were so proud of you. You have the greatest friends in the world and I can only be thankful to God, they’re still around you.
What I loved most about you was how you never cared about little things. Your hair was a mess and you know it – but you knew you were still attractive. You may not have been the best looking person but you walked without a care. You cared so much about your family and they trusted you with their life. Your life revolved around the simple pleasures of Ice-cream and Friday evening movies. The girls and boys appreciated you just as much while you remained yourself.
I remember so vividly the times you’d be by yourself and still feel complete. I know now why you were always so happy. You never needed anyone, but you always had someone.
I wish I could be like you. But I know I will never be. No matter how hard I try, I look back and realize you were still a step ahead. I questioned you so many times back then but today I know you were always right. You may have seemed immature then but I can’t remember a wrong decision you made.
Today, I can only wish I could go back and tell you that you were right. I know how you felt those days when you were made to believe you were wrong. You’re ambitions were good, you’re heart was clean and you loved without repent. I want to say thank you for being in my thoughts, so I can still look back and ask myself what you would do when times were bad. I know not too much has changed – all I have to do is ask you.
I really miss you so much Martin at age 16.
P.S. Think about it!
Rubbish!
Some people just don’t stop talking. Somehow this breed doesn’t even pick up hints too well and they’re all extremely irritating. I think there must be a common gene for these traits. Shweta – I wonder if that research fits your job profile?? I’m sure you could get that Nobel Prize – and it should come under the category of “peace”!
The stories I hear from these types are not so bad. It’s just the narrator. How I wish that one murder was allowed. I guess the solution can only be sustained for so long (refer Bored Shitless Too). After that the killer instincts will break out and run all over the place as if King Kong was chasing it! What is particularly interesting is the flowery language they use. Honestly, I don’t understand half the words, which doesn’t mean I’m stupid, which mean we are not having a conversation. I may as well be spoken to in Jupitarian! See, I’m not a fancy guy with a vocab of 50 million words. I understand and speak plain and simple English and, “Shakespeare, I’m sure I’m pretty easy to communicate with”. Please leave me alone!!
I don’t really give a shit about what happened to the Lehmann Brothers. (Though I know what happened). That story about Russians and the pencil in space is not true. Please, for the sake of Mother Mary, get your facts right. Sometimes, those very few times, a person may just know you’re bull shitting. By the way, when you say you don’t know who Roger Federer is – you’re not portraying a very smart person. No, he’s not the owner (or founder) of FedEx (though that’s his nick) and FedEx stands for Federal Express. Notice? Federal… Federer... No relation. And I seriously doubt that Federal maybe a person’s name. But since I’m not sure I won’t comment. Read the previous line again, PLEASE!
I agree I’m an extremely boring person. I know I can’t really make conversations and I’m not cool either. But hey look – I’m standing by myself in the corner with a smile on my face. This means I must be happy. Where did I party last week-end? Nowhere. I don’t party. Wondrously, the smile hasn’t gone and does paying 12,000 bucks for a pair of Ferragamo (yes, I know Ferragamo) shades make you look any less stupid?
Since, I’m a nice person I will not say these things to your face. But I do recommend you stop pushing your luck.
Enough said.
P.S. The Russians never took a pencil in space. Imagine having to sharpen the damn thing up there. An old myth. Very inspiring, but still a myth.
The stories I hear from these types are not so bad. It’s just the narrator. How I wish that one murder was allowed. I guess the solution can only be sustained for so long (refer Bored Shitless Too). After that the killer instincts will break out and run all over the place as if King Kong was chasing it! What is particularly interesting is the flowery language they use. Honestly, I don’t understand half the words, which doesn’t mean I’m stupid, which mean we are not having a conversation. I may as well be spoken to in Jupitarian! See, I’m not a fancy guy with a vocab of 50 million words. I understand and speak plain and simple English and, “Shakespeare, I’m sure I’m pretty easy to communicate with”. Please leave me alone!!
I don’t really give a shit about what happened to the Lehmann Brothers. (Though I know what happened). That story about Russians and the pencil in space is not true. Please, for the sake of Mother Mary, get your facts right. Sometimes, those very few times, a person may just know you’re bull shitting. By the way, when you say you don’t know who Roger Federer is – you’re not portraying a very smart person. No, he’s not the owner (or founder) of FedEx (though that’s his nick) and FedEx stands for Federal Express. Notice? Federal… Federer... No relation. And I seriously doubt that Federal maybe a person’s name. But since I’m not sure I won’t comment. Read the previous line again, PLEASE!
I agree I’m an extremely boring person. I know I can’t really make conversations and I’m not cool either. But hey look – I’m standing by myself in the corner with a smile on my face. This means I must be happy. Where did I party last week-end? Nowhere. I don’t party. Wondrously, the smile hasn’t gone and does paying 12,000 bucks for a pair of Ferragamo (yes, I know Ferragamo) shades make you look any less stupid?
Since, I’m a nice person I will not say these things to your face. But I do recommend you stop pushing your luck.
Enough said.
P.S. The Russians never took a pencil in space. Imagine having to sharpen the damn thing up there. An old myth. Very inspiring, but still a myth.
The Death of Innocence
“As innocent as a lamb”. Mind you, not sheep but lamb.
They say children are God’s angels on earth and then they figure the earthly ways. I love babies (when they belong to other people) and the thing I love the most about them is their innocence (though there was that kid from Omen too). It’s amazing how a baby will smile at an absolute stranger and even land them a free peck from time to time. They don’t worry about the next day and play with their own toes (an adult playing with other people’s toes is not in the same category). Everything about them makes me so happy. Then they start growing up…
Kids between ages 3 to 6 are by far the most annoying (of angels). They’re still innocent but you can see the way they will look at the opposite sex. The seeds of trouble have been sown. They have questions about everything. The most annoying ones being with “Why”.
Kid – Why do birds fly?
Adult – Because they have wings (and hollow bones and by law of aerodynamics their structure is perfect for flight)
Kid – Why do they have wings?
Adult – Because God gave them wings (kids never ask you “who is God”. Think about it)
Kid – Why did God give them wings?
Adult – Because he wanted them to fly
Kid – Why didn’t God give me wings?
Adult – ??? (because you’re irritating!!) Look, Ice-cream… which one will you have?
Kid – Chocolate. Why is chocolate brown?
Adult – Look.. balloons!!
I had the fortune of being a prefect in school for a Kindergarten class and I’ve done it all from tying shoe-laces to pulling down the zipper so they could take a pee. Nothing compares to the questions! Innocent they are, nevertheless.
Ages 7 to 10 are the most interesting. They’ve just learnt from playing doctor that women and men are in fact different. I’m not even going to mention the questions that I’ve heard from this age group which is suddenly very interested in anatomy. You would think that everyone of these little rascals is going to be a doctor when they grow up (all the little boys will be gynecologists!). They run around the entire day and the fake fighting tells you the sounds our ancestors may have made in order to communicate (boosh, awww, ah-dish, etc.). All of them are freakin’ descendants of Bruce Lee. Innocence slowly dying... it must be a house-fly!
Now comes the hard part – puberty and boy bands. Ages 11 to 15. This is the most confused of the lot. They think they’re teenagers but don’t have a clue of how to act. They’ll even talk to a 25 year old with this sense of confidence that would put Lara Croft & Indiana Jones (put together) to shame. Scrap books, Friendship bands, boy band CDs, porn CDs are some of their paraphernalia. The porn CDs exist and if you have brothers or sisters of this age look under their mattress. The girls start “growing” and the men are enamored. (Oh look... the “sapling” of trouble!) The first relationships, plan of living together always, ice-cream and coffee, chick-flicks, Nikes, rock metal tees and the ugly first few facial hair (for boys and some girls too!). The innocence is dead. The reason? Those bleeding hormones. (Bleeding I realized is a very sensitive term here. It’s been used in the same context as bloody, so don’t get me wrong)
Welcome now to the worst phase of the lot. After this phase you find a job, hardly have a life, think about how cute babies are and then write a blog entry about it. Some people go to the extent of reading the entry.
Ages 16 to 21. Anatomy and Biology learnt (from friends). Chemistry experienced. My favorite group. They all have very cool ambitions and usually have a hobby which relates to things that did not even exist 3 years ago. They’ve realized boy bands are gay and now listen to the same guys who have gone solo realizing they were gay! They’re so technologically savvy that I’m sure they’d actually outplay me in basketball because they already know all the tricks from NBA 2008. A lot of them are borderline obese but the hair is still spiked. I wonder if like vertical strips the spiked hair makes one look thinner. The ionic bond between cool bikes and hot babes confuses me. There’s no such thing as personality at this age. The innocence was long dead. They’re probably “creating” innocence. But after everything said, they grow up the quickest. I think I personally learnt most at this stage of my life. A Broken heart and rock music can teach you so much.
P.S. Ages 21 to 25 – I’ve realized these were the most beautiful years of my life… I wish I could live them again, even if it was just for a day. Hence, I’m not going to make any smart comments about this age group.
Age 26 onwards – They mostly have married friends. The one’s that are not married usually have nagging parents. The one’s who have neither, are on drugs!!
They say children are God’s angels on earth and then they figure the earthly ways. I love babies (when they belong to other people) and the thing I love the most about them is their innocence (though there was that kid from Omen too). It’s amazing how a baby will smile at an absolute stranger and even land them a free peck from time to time. They don’t worry about the next day and play with their own toes (an adult playing with other people’s toes is not in the same category). Everything about them makes me so happy. Then they start growing up…
Kids between ages 3 to 6 are by far the most annoying (of angels). They’re still innocent but you can see the way they will look at the opposite sex. The seeds of trouble have been sown. They have questions about everything. The most annoying ones being with “Why”.
Kid – Why do birds fly?
Adult – Because they have wings (and hollow bones and by law of aerodynamics their structure is perfect for flight)
Kid – Why do they have wings?
Adult – Because God gave them wings (kids never ask you “who is God”. Think about it)
Kid – Why did God give them wings?
Adult – Because he wanted them to fly
Kid – Why didn’t God give me wings?
Adult – ??? (because you’re irritating!!) Look, Ice-cream… which one will you have?
Kid – Chocolate. Why is chocolate brown?
Adult – Look.. balloons!!
I had the fortune of being a prefect in school for a Kindergarten class and I’ve done it all from tying shoe-laces to pulling down the zipper so they could take a pee. Nothing compares to the questions! Innocent they are, nevertheless.
Ages 7 to 10 are the most interesting. They’ve just learnt from playing doctor that women and men are in fact different. I’m not even going to mention the questions that I’ve heard from this age group which is suddenly very interested in anatomy. You would think that everyone of these little rascals is going to be a doctor when they grow up (all the little boys will be gynecologists!). They run around the entire day and the fake fighting tells you the sounds our ancestors may have made in order to communicate (boosh, awww, ah-dish, etc.). All of them are freakin’ descendants of Bruce Lee. Innocence slowly dying... it must be a house-fly!
Now comes the hard part – puberty and boy bands. Ages 11 to 15. This is the most confused of the lot. They think they’re teenagers but don’t have a clue of how to act. They’ll even talk to a 25 year old with this sense of confidence that would put Lara Croft & Indiana Jones (put together) to shame. Scrap books, Friendship bands, boy band CDs, porn CDs are some of their paraphernalia. The porn CDs exist and if you have brothers or sisters of this age look under their mattress. The girls start “growing” and the men are enamored. (Oh look... the “sapling” of trouble!) The first relationships, plan of living together always, ice-cream and coffee, chick-flicks, Nikes, rock metal tees and the ugly first few facial hair (for boys and some girls too!). The innocence is dead. The reason? Those bleeding hormones. (Bleeding I realized is a very sensitive term here. It’s been used in the same context as bloody, so don’t get me wrong)
Welcome now to the worst phase of the lot. After this phase you find a job, hardly have a life, think about how cute babies are and then write a blog entry about it. Some people go to the extent of reading the entry.
Ages 16 to 21. Anatomy and Biology learnt (from friends). Chemistry experienced. My favorite group. They all have very cool ambitions and usually have a hobby which relates to things that did not even exist 3 years ago. They’ve realized boy bands are gay and now listen to the same guys who have gone solo realizing they were gay! They’re so technologically savvy that I’m sure they’d actually outplay me in basketball because they already know all the tricks from NBA 2008. A lot of them are borderline obese but the hair is still spiked. I wonder if like vertical strips the spiked hair makes one look thinner. The ionic bond between cool bikes and hot babes confuses me. There’s no such thing as personality at this age. The innocence was long dead. They’re probably “creating” innocence. But after everything said, they grow up the quickest. I think I personally learnt most at this stage of my life. A Broken heart and rock music can teach you so much.
P.S. Ages 21 to 25 – I’ve realized these were the most beautiful years of my life… I wish I could live them again, even if it was just for a day. Hence, I’m not going to make any smart comments about this age group.
Age 26 onwards – They mostly have married friends. The one’s that are not married usually have nagging parents. The one’s who have neither, are on drugs!!
Not Cool!
I’m writing this post in office. It’s 1:30am. I came to office at 2:30pm – that’s 11 hours! I’m waiting for someone’s very unproductive meeting to be over so I can have another very unproductive meeting with them on a Friday night. Here’s what’s bothering me – If I had 5 minutes with the person, I’d finish my shit and they could carry on with their “I don’t have a life” meeting.
Anyway, I was just surfing (what ever the internet policy of my organization allows me to) & I stumbled upon the blog of a person who is the name sake of a very good friend. It’s strange, just by the choice of words and language how I could have very easily thought this girl (whose blog I was reading) was my friend. But obviously from the contents I figured this was just somebody else with a very strange likeness to someone I know. (I’ve just proof read this paragraph and realized how much easier it would have been if I’d just used names).
The post that I read was about some girl who was with her in college and would be physically and verbally abused by some guy who she stuck with for 3 years. It brought back to me a very intense conversation that Vikram, Tarun and I once had about how women tend to hang on to men that treat them like shit. I haven’t really thought about that conversation after that time – but suddenly I realize I do know girls that would fit this. I’m not generalizing here – please note.
The question is, why do girls stick with men who treat them badly? I think what really happens is that these men are obviously real players – who first make the girl fall for them head over heals. Once they know the girl loves them, a certain amount of reverse psychology sets in. Since these guys fool around a lot – they somehow end up believing that the woman is doing the same. Then comes the thrashing (read physical abuse). But it’s already too late for the girl ‘cause she’s in love with this guy.
What happens next is even worse. The girl finally musters up the courage to walk out on this guy, leaving him feeling ever so worse about himself. (I’ve heard a lot of these men have small things – wonder if that overworks the aggressive hormone. I’ll never know!). She finds a nice guy that loves her and treats her well. But for some reason this woman can’t really adjust to this anymore (read gets bored) and she leaves him too. This guy now turns into the first guy – who will hereafter be abusive in some way or another.
So well, this goes on. It’s like evolution happening 64X. Soon we’ll have a whole load of women beaters and men haters and we’ll all be unhappy.
It’s now 3:30am. I left for a while to finally get my 15 minutes. Very unproductive (in business not biology terms) 15 minutes.
There’s a way out of all this. Women should accept the beating gracefully!
P.S. I know how much flak I’m about to receive for that last statement. TRY SAYING IT TO MY FACE WOMAN! (Knuckles cracked, Sleeves pulled up & taking the Kung-fu kick stance)
All you women, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s just random rambling. 4:02am (Yawn).
Anyway, I was just surfing (what ever the internet policy of my organization allows me to) & I stumbled upon the blog of a person who is the name sake of a very good friend. It’s strange, just by the choice of words and language how I could have very easily thought this girl (whose blog I was reading) was my friend. But obviously from the contents I figured this was just somebody else with a very strange likeness to someone I know. (I’ve just proof read this paragraph and realized how much easier it would have been if I’d just used names).
The post that I read was about some girl who was with her in college and would be physically and verbally abused by some guy who she stuck with for 3 years. It brought back to me a very intense conversation that Vikram, Tarun and I once had about how women tend to hang on to men that treat them like shit. I haven’t really thought about that conversation after that time – but suddenly I realize I do know girls that would fit this. I’m not generalizing here – please note.
The question is, why do girls stick with men who treat them badly? I think what really happens is that these men are obviously real players – who first make the girl fall for them head over heals. Once they know the girl loves them, a certain amount of reverse psychology sets in. Since these guys fool around a lot – they somehow end up believing that the woman is doing the same. Then comes the thrashing (read physical abuse). But it’s already too late for the girl ‘cause she’s in love with this guy.
What happens next is even worse. The girl finally musters up the courage to walk out on this guy, leaving him feeling ever so worse about himself. (I’ve heard a lot of these men have small things – wonder if that overworks the aggressive hormone. I’ll never know!). She finds a nice guy that loves her and treats her well. But for some reason this woman can’t really adjust to this anymore (read gets bored) and she leaves him too. This guy now turns into the first guy – who will hereafter be abusive in some way or another.
So well, this goes on. It’s like evolution happening 64X. Soon we’ll have a whole load of women beaters and men haters and we’ll all be unhappy.
It’s now 3:30am. I left for a while to finally get my 15 minutes. Very unproductive (in business not biology terms) 15 minutes.
There’s a way out of all this. Women should accept the beating gracefully!
P.S. I know how much flak I’m about to receive for that last statement. TRY SAYING IT TO MY FACE WOMAN! (Knuckles cracked, Sleeves pulled up & taking the Kung-fu kick stance)
All you women, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s just random rambling. 4:02am (Yawn).
Notes to Myself
Notes to myself over the many years written in a very random manner to avoid giving out the pattern of how priorities change
Never take up anything that involves studying history
Walks are not romantic in the summer
Trust people, as long as they’re not pretty, rich, intelligent, smart, ambitious or read Mills and Boon
Never again ask the meaning of queef in a public place
Don’t try to see how long you can sustain the “sleeper hold”
Quit
One for the road is a bad idea when you’re driving at 5pm
Eat more
Never ignore a failing zipper, especially if it’s on the trousers you wear to school on the day you are to speak in assembly
Lose touch with certain individuals
Don’t get her to be friends with your ex when you know damn well they’ll get along
Don’t call people “cock-eyed” to their face when you’re not sure if they’re faking it
6am in December is a very bad time to prove your love for someone
Twisted ankle takes more than 3 days to heal
Don’t pull out an eye lash from someone else’s eye when you have shaky hands
People get blind very easily
Don’t assume your sneeze will bring nothing out
Old ladies don’t stop while crossing the road even if you’re riding at 60KMPH
Mongols are not retarded
Delhi Sucks!
Never let chemistry get in the way (with reference to the subject, not the expression)
If she hates everyone except you, she’s lying
If she loves you the most in the world, she’s lying
Putting a pencil between your finger and then slamming your hand down on the table really really hurts
Potassium Cyanide looks exactly like sugar
It’s not alright to make PMS jokes when it’s that time of the month for her
Some people are overtly sensitive – avoid telling them if one is for sorrow why can’t two be sorrow doubled
Don’t sip beer and answer a question at the same time – it can result in choking which in turn can result in you spraying the beer on a persons face
Babies don’t know that they can’t pee on your suit
Don’t regret but don’t forget either
Ask what you’re eating at someone else’s house
Some people eat snails
If you miss someone may be you should let them know – if you don’t you should surely let them know!
Let it go
People can sneak into your blog – be careful what you say
(And last but not the least) It’s not my problem!
Never take up anything that involves studying history
Walks are not romantic in the summer
Trust people, as long as they’re not pretty, rich, intelligent, smart, ambitious or read Mills and Boon
Never again ask the meaning of queef in a public place
Don’t try to see how long you can sustain the “sleeper hold”
Quit
One for the road is a bad idea when you’re driving at 5pm
Eat more
Never ignore a failing zipper, especially if it’s on the trousers you wear to school on the day you are to speak in assembly
Lose touch with certain individuals
Don’t get her to be friends with your ex when you know damn well they’ll get along
Don’t call people “cock-eyed” to their face when you’re not sure if they’re faking it
6am in December is a very bad time to prove your love for someone
Twisted ankle takes more than 3 days to heal
Don’t pull out an eye lash from someone else’s eye when you have shaky hands
People get blind very easily
Don’t assume your sneeze will bring nothing out
Old ladies don’t stop while crossing the road even if you’re riding at 60KMPH
Mongols are not retarded
Delhi Sucks!
Never let chemistry get in the way (with reference to the subject, not the expression)
If she hates everyone except you, she’s lying
If she loves you the most in the world, she’s lying
Putting a pencil between your finger and then slamming your hand down on the table really really hurts
Potassium Cyanide looks exactly like sugar
It’s not alright to make PMS jokes when it’s that time of the month for her
Some people are overtly sensitive – avoid telling them if one is for sorrow why can’t two be sorrow doubled
Don’t sip beer and answer a question at the same time – it can result in choking which in turn can result in you spraying the beer on a persons face
Babies don’t know that they can’t pee on your suit
Don’t regret but don’t forget either
Ask what you’re eating at someone else’s house
Some people eat snails
If you miss someone may be you should let them know – if you don’t you should surely let them know!
Let it go
People can sneak into your blog – be careful what you say
(And last but not the least) It’s not my problem!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
One of those days..
Today was one of those days when nothing seems to go right (at work). Now you see my life pretty much revolves around my job, so it's easy for me to stereotype today as one of those days..
I was in office for 12 hours, which, most people that know me will tell you, is like me working for 2 days on trot. I never feel the need to work long hours. I've been checked many times for leaving after 8 or 9 hours. Most people think I have no work. Most people, I think, are incompetent. I haven't learnt the art of creating work for myself, which is something a lot of people do very effectively. They spend 4 or 5 hours coming up with something that usually takes the smarter lot to run down in about 2 or 3 minutes. They have a destination I have the direction.
But this is not about them. I guess they’re just nature maintaining the equilibrium. I’ll be honest; if there weren’t some of them then my mediocrity would not have been hyped. I know a lot of people who’re way smarter than I am and I try not to look down upon the people who aren’t (it’s just so hard!).
Well, I’m only glad this day was over. My mediocrity came to the fore and hit me square between the eyes. I blacked out for a moment, and then I picked myself up and started from the beginning. It took me about ½ and hour to become the ass hole again. The job was done. Well that too.
I guess sometimes it takes a fight to know the real killer inside you.
P.S. “Screw you guys. I’m going home” – Eric Cartman
Friday, July 31, 2009
Friendship Day!
Someone came running upto me in office today and asked me if I was going to be in office tomorrow for sure. I said I was sure I would be. She then asked me to be present in the conference room at 6:00pm. I told her that I couldn't promise that 'cause I'm sure I have something at that time.
They're playing some kind of a game in office (oh sorry, it's called "having an activity"), since the 2nd of Aug is Friendship Day (I don't believe we're "having an activity" for it) and some girl picked up a chit with my name on it, now she's supposed to do something to make my day. I have no clue of who the girl is or what she's about to do. Not that it'll take much in office for anyone to make my day (I'm so screwed most of the time). It didn't end there. A guy walked up to me later in the day and asked me again to be there "Atleast just for 10 minutes".
I don't think I ever celebrated Friendship day. I mean how do you celebrate it anyway? I remember in 1999 when a few people in school came up with Friendship bands to me. After the 2nd band, I took them off an put it in my pocket. Now every person that gave me a band, I'd just take out someone else's from my pocket and give it to them. "Very Smart", huh? Actually not. A girl gave me very pretty band that she made herself. Really colorful for my taste. There was a wierd design on it, which looked something like “П7IN”. I obviously gave it away to someone else. This girl came up to me later that day with the very band that she'd given me. I tried to tell her that it wasn't the same band - only for her to put it on my hand and make me realise she'd put her name "NILU" on it.
It's funny how apprehension builds up on you. I'm not excitied or anything but I have to admit in some corner I'm a little nervous. Infact I'm hoping she doesn't sing me a song or do something over the top, 'cause I'd be very embarrassed. I've never been able to take attention too well.
Well, more tomorrow on this then (if it's worth it, that is).
P.S. The story about Nilu is true. The worst part is that there were witnesses to this episode, who for the next 3 or 4 years would remind of it.
And please try not to judge the girl because her name is Nilu!
They're playing some kind of a game in office (oh sorry, it's called "having an activity"), since the 2nd of Aug is Friendship Day (I don't believe we're "having an activity" for it) and some girl picked up a chit with my name on it, now she's supposed to do something to make my day. I have no clue of who the girl is or what she's about to do. Not that it'll take much in office for anyone to make my day (I'm so screwed most of the time). It didn't end there. A guy walked up to me later in the day and asked me again to be there "Atleast just for 10 minutes".
I don't think I ever celebrated Friendship day. I mean how do you celebrate it anyway? I remember in 1999 when a few people in school came up with Friendship bands to me. After the 2nd band, I took them off an put it in my pocket. Now every person that gave me a band, I'd just take out someone else's from my pocket and give it to them. "Very Smart", huh? Actually not. A girl gave me very pretty band that she made herself. Really colorful for my taste. There was a wierd design on it, which looked something like “П7IN”. I obviously gave it away to someone else. This girl came up to me later that day with the very band that she'd given me. I tried to tell her that it wasn't the same band - only for her to put it on my hand and make me realise she'd put her name "NILU" on it.
It's funny how apprehension builds up on you. I'm not excitied or anything but I have to admit in some corner I'm a little nervous. Infact I'm hoping she doesn't sing me a song or do something over the top, 'cause I'd be very embarrassed. I've never been able to take attention too well.
Well, more tomorrow on this then (if it's worth it, that is).
P.S. The story about Nilu is true. The worst part is that there were witnesses to this episode, who for the next 3 or 4 years would remind of it.
And please try not to judge the girl because her name is Nilu!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Torn
I had this very strange feeling out of the blue today that completely over-whelmed me. I realised that I've become this very logical person. Not to say logical as in I developed a sudden sense of logical ability, but like a person who uses their head above the heart.
I was generally considered to be a rather emotional guy by most people who know me. I would much rather deal with the heart, than from the head. Most people (I think) even like me for being that way. But not me. No. I hated being so foolish.
I could talk to people for hours at times. I had so many friends that I could bet each time I went out, I'd bump into someone that was genuinely happy to see me. I think I even cared about most people. About what they'd feel, what they'd think, et cetra, et cetra. But I'm sure I was told that I'm a nice guy! I was so full of energy all the time. I had so many things to do.
I don't know what's made me this way now. It could be my job, my stint at Noida or simply just circumstances. The point is that I've now become quite practical in a lot of ways.
I pick up my phone sometimes and don't really know who to call. Even if I do talk, I'm struggling to keep the conversation alive after 2 minutes (on a good day). It's funny because some of these people I could really talk to. I can't talk about anything but work and I'm supposed to have a pretty normal life (?) outside of it. I have this little comfort zone and NOBODY'S allowed inside. Most people think I'm a very boring person. I'd much rather stay home and sleep than meet anyone. The strangest part is I like myself this way.
Today something made me realise how much distance I've put between myself and people. I see I've become a person that I would pity in my former state. I see my old self in people and feel sorry that they feel that they can't even communicate with me. The hardest part is I still sleep so peacefully. The selfishness takes charge. Having said that - I think I make better decisions now. They are all for me. How I feel, how I want, what suits me.
I wonder what happened.
P.S. "I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger" - The Joker
I was generally considered to be a rather emotional guy by most people who know me. I would much rather deal with the heart, than from the head. Most people (I think) even like me for being that way. But not me. No. I hated being so foolish.
I could talk to people for hours at times. I had so many friends that I could bet each time I went out, I'd bump into someone that was genuinely happy to see me. I think I even cared about most people. About what they'd feel, what they'd think, et cetra, et cetra. But I'm sure I was told that I'm a nice guy! I was so full of energy all the time. I had so many things to do.
I don't know what's made me this way now. It could be my job, my stint at Noida or simply just circumstances. The point is that I've now become quite practical in a lot of ways.
I pick up my phone sometimes and don't really know who to call. Even if I do talk, I'm struggling to keep the conversation alive after 2 minutes (on a good day). It's funny because some of these people I could really talk to. I can't talk about anything but work and I'm supposed to have a pretty normal life (?) outside of it. I have this little comfort zone and NOBODY'S allowed inside. Most people think I'm a very boring person. I'd much rather stay home and sleep than meet anyone. The strangest part is I like myself this way.
Today something made me realise how much distance I've put between myself and people. I see I've become a person that I would pity in my former state. I see my old self in people and feel sorry that they feel that they can't even communicate with me. The hardest part is I still sleep so peacefully. The selfishness takes charge. Having said that - I think I make better decisions now. They are all for me. How I feel, how I want, what suits me.
I wonder what happened.
P.S. "I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger" - The Joker
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Name Calling
“Hey John! I need access to xyz”
“Sure Martin. I’ll need your details. What’s you full name”
“Martin Meganath”
“Martin.. WHAAAAAAT???”
“Meganath”
“Meck-an-at??”
“NO!!! MAY-GA-NATH (pronounced like bath)”
“Dude! Seriously???”
“Yeah”***
“What’s in a name” he said. Thankfully William your parents didn’t give you a name like Dick or something! I can bet you wouldn’t be half as popular. And if you studied in a school anything like mine, you may have even killed yourself let alone have a creative side.
I was listening to this Hindi item song (one of the originals) called “Laila o Laila”. I’m sure every Indian has heard this song (unless they’re pretending). Going back on the origin of the name, Laila is like the Juliet (of the Romeo fame) of India. Or is she really? The name now sounds more lewd than anything. Consider this statement, “Aaja meri Laila”. See what I mean? Personally I think it’s a beautiful name. But it’s amazing how a name can be ruined. Let’s take another example of her beau “Majnu”. He’s like the Romeo of India. Now think about this, “Saale, Majnu ki aulad”. I’ve heard that one in so many Hindi movies. Mostly used to signify a hopeless and helpless romantic. How many of you would name your children that any more. Or for that matter would you even call your son “Romeo”. (The Alfa Romeo is a car. Which means, scientifically speaking it is non-living and hence does not care what you call it.)
I’ve got friends with very normal names. Like Vikram Bhalla, Lynell Fernandes, Rashmi Nambiar, Shweta Gaikwad, Tarun Menon etc. See how well the last name just glides through your mouth after the first name. So smooth! Now try saying my name with the same glide effect! It just doesn’t happen. Does it?? I did know a guy called Benjamin Gole (pronounced GO-LAY). He had a very positive effect on me whenever he was around (I wonder why?). Until I heard he’s in London and now calls himself Benjamin Gole (pronounced GOAL). Very sweet Ben Go”Fucking”Lay! Now that he’s anglicized his name, I’m left out.
I remember this one incident when I was in college. A new Kashmiri girl joined the college. Cute as a dollop of ice-cream. I was helping her fill out some forms (obviously with help as the only intention), when I had to get her last name. “TIKOO”, she said. I couldn’t fill out those forms. I couldn’t even stand. I was laughing so hard, that I developed a six pack in 15 minutes. She stood there staring at me with those very innocent eyes as if to say, “it’s not my fault”. She never spoke to me again.
Please people give your children names that rhyme and match. If you’re about to cross breed, please make sure the name isn’t mutli-ethnic. It sucks to have to try to explain to people how you landed up with a weird ass name.
***E-MAIL from johnb@abc.com
Dear Martin Meganath,
I have given you access per your request. Please check and let me know if you have any trouble.
Regards,
John Blierschinestcsky.
“John, what your last name”
“BLY-ER-CHIN-EST-TSKY”
“Loser”!
“Sure Martin. I’ll need your details. What’s you full name”
“Martin Meganath”
“Martin.. WHAAAAAAT???”
“Meganath”
“Meck-an-at??”
“NO!!! MAY-GA-NATH (pronounced like bath)”
“Dude! Seriously???”
“Yeah”***
“What’s in a name” he said. Thankfully William your parents didn’t give you a name like Dick or something! I can bet you wouldn’t be half as popular. And if you studied in a school anything like mine, you may have even killed yourself let alone have a creative side.
I was listening to this Hindi item song (one of the originals) called “Laila o Laila”. I’m sure every Indian has heard this song (unless they’re pretending). Going back on the origin of the name, Laila is like the Juliet (of the Romeo fame) of India. Or is she really? The name now sounds more lewd than anything. Consider this statement, “Aaja meri Laila”. See what I mean? Personally I think it’s a beautiful name. But it’s amazing how a name can be ruined. Let’s take another example of her beau “Majnu”. He’s like the Romeo of India. Now think about this, “Saale, Majnu ki aulad”. I’ve heard that one in so many Hindi movies. Mostly used to signify a hopeless and helpless romantic. How many of you would name your children that any more. Or for that matter would you even call your son “Romeo”. (The Alfa Romeo is a car. Which means, scientifically speaking it is non-living and hence does not care what you call it.)
I’ve got friends with very normal names. Like Vikram Bhalla, Lynell Fernandes, Rashmi Nambiar, Shweta Gaikwad, Tarun Menon etc. See how well the last name just glides through your mouth after the first name. So smooth! Now try saying my name with the same glide effect! It just doesn’t happen. Does it?? I did know a guy called Benjamin Gole (pronounced GO-LAY). He had a very positive effect on me whenever he was around (I wonder why?). Until I heard he’s in London and now calls himself Benjamin Gole (pronounced GOAL). Very sweet Ben Go”Fucking”Lay! Now that he’s anglicized his name, I’m left out.
I remember this one incident when I was in college. A new Kashmiri girl joined the college. Cute as a dollop of ice-cream. I was helping her fill out some forms (obviously with help as the only intention), when I had to get her last name. “TIKOO”, she said. I couldn’t fill out those forms. I couldn’t even stand. I was laughing so hard, that I developed a six pack in 15 minutes. She stood there staring at me with those very innocent eyes as if to say, “it’s not my fault”. She never spoke to me again.
Please people give your children names that rhyme and match. If you’re about to cross breed, please make sure the name isn’t mutli-ethnic. It sucks to have to try to explain to people how you landed up with a weird ass name.
***E-MAIL from johnb@abc.com
Dear Martin Meganath,
I have given you access per your request. Please check and let me know if you have any trouble.
Regards,
John Blierschinestcsky.
“John, what your last name”
“BLY-ER-CHIN-EST-TSKY”
“Loser”!
Bored Shitless too!!
At one point or another all of us use the morbid “I’m bored”. I use it far more often than most, I think. I was so bored that I actually decided to sit down and think why is it that we get bored? You can imagine the intensity of my boredom; me having to sit down and think about being bored.
My work leads me to think of every thing as a project. There’s a certain amount of improvement that can be done in everything. If you can’t identify what can be improved you simply screw up something that’s working absolutely well and then come back to the original way of doing it; thereby showing improvement. This isn’t my philosophy – it’s de facto. And yes, everyone here has heard of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. But sorry, that does not make a “good organization” a “great organization” (or something like that).
Getting back to where I was – bored. I asked a few around me what they do when they’re bored. The answers were far from satisfying and even further from an iota of intelligence. Examples – “I watch TV”, “I read a book”, “I go for a drive”, “I listen to music”, “I shag” (honestly that was one of them), etc. So I rephrased the question and asked them what they do if they’re bored in office. The answers this time were just as unintelligent but at least I now know who I should keep away from. Examples – “I read a book”, “I listen to music”, “I shag” (in office!!!!!), etc.
Some times you have to look for the answers within yourself.
Now I decided I would do some introspection to understand what the moments are where I’m bored. So I sat down to think and the first thought that came to my mind was, “This is so freakin’ boring”. I stopped the introspection right there. This project was going to be a complete failure. Wait, I forgot the rules.
I sat down and listed the things that bore me and took a step further and weighed them on a 10 point scale. 10 bringing out the suicidal tendencies hidden in some far corner of my brain.
1. Driving (2)
2. Dressing up (2)
3. Talking on the phone (3)
4. Watching a movie (this implies random movies) (5)
5. Coffee (5)
6. Listening to people’s problems (6)
7. Looking at other peoples family photographs (6)
8. Listening to people talking about other peoples problems (8)
9. Dinners (7)
10. Official dinners (8)
11. Making a presentation (8.5)
12. Presenting the presentation (9)
13. Talking to certain people (10, could even be 11 or 12)
14. Coming to office ( certainly 11)
I was beginning get somewhere now.
First rule of improvement – identify the problem (or not). Second rule of improvement – define the problem (“Jack” is an acceptable definition). Third rule of improvement – come up with possible solutions (one of which can be to create another problem). Last and final rule of improvement – sustain the solution (the working of which you will understand as you read further).
Here’s what I have been doing of late (purposely written in a figure of speech to make it sound like some rules).
Go to office regularly (haven’t missed a day in 3 months), make it a point to find the most obnoxiously boring character and start up a conversation about someone else’s problems and then sit back and thank the penal code that killing people is illegal. Ask them about their family and tell them you want to see pictures. Then ask them why their “taya ji” is so ugly and listen to how he takes to his mother’s father’s brother. This should be done twice a day, 5 days a week (too much of anything is not good – remember?)
You can always find that absolutely useless thing to make a presentation about. Trust me when you go to office 3 months straight, this becomes a cake walk. Make that presentation with totally irrelevant clip art. Like, put the clip art of Santa Claus on a slide that’s titled “Solution”. Then make it a point to gather a huge audience and ramble on and on about the presentation – till you get that feeling in your chest that doesn’t let you sleep if you’re not in the right position. After that call for a dinner (make it official so you don’t have to pay) and continue discussion on your useless presentation.
After about a month of doing this, I went out for a smoke alone, picked up a coffee on the way. While I smoked I spoke for about 4 minutes on the phone. I like driving around these days and even dress up to take a dump. I don’t feel so bored doing nothing anymore.
Today while I was smoking FB came and said, “Do you know that girl in the HR team? Her brother’s wife’s cousin was fined yesterday for DUI”.
“Really?? Tell me more about it”.
Last and final rule of improvement – sustain the solution.
P.S. Acupressure treatment for a headache is to clamp down hard the soft area that connects the index finger and the thumb. The idea is to cause so much pain that you forget the headache. Really.
My work leads me to think of every thing as a project. There’s a certain amount of improvement that can be done in everything. If you can’t identify what can be improved you simply screw up something that’s working absolutely well and then come back to the original way of doing it; thereby showing improvement. This isn’t my philosophy – it’s de facto. And yes, everyone here has heard of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. But sorry, that does not make a “good organization” a “great organization” (or something like that).
Getting back to where I was – bored. I asked a few around me what they do when they’re bored. The answers were far from satisfying and even further from an iota of intelligence. Examples – “I watch TV”, “I read a book”, “I go for a drive”, “I listen to music”, “I shag” (honestly that was one of them), etc. So I rephrased the question and asked them what they do if they’re bored in office. The answers this time were just as unintelligent but at least I now know who I should keep away from. Examples – “I read a book”, “I listen to music”, “I shag” (in office!!!!!), etc.
Some times you have to look for the answers within yourself.
Now I decided I would do some introspection to understand what the moments are where I’m bored. So I sat down to think and the first thought that came to my mind was, “This is so freakin’ boring”. I stopped the introspection right there. This project was going to be a complete failure. Wait, I forgot the rules.
I sat down and listed the things that bore me and took a step further and weighed them on a 10 point scale. 10 bringing out the suicidal tendencies hidden in some far corner of my brain.
1. Driving (2)
2. Dressing up (2)
3. Talking on the phone (3)
4. Watching a movie (this implies random movies) (5)
5. Coffee (5)
6. Listening to people’s problems (6)
7. Looking at other peoples family photographs (6)
8. Listening to people talking about other peoples problems (8)
9. Dinners (7)
10. Official dinners (8)
11. Making a presentation (8.5)
12. Presenting the presentation (9)
13. Talking to certain people (10, could even be 11 or 12)
14. Coming to office ( certainly 11)
I was beginning get somewhere now.
First rule of improvement – identify the problem (or not). Second rule of improvement – define the problem (“Jack” is an acceptable definition). Third rule of improvement – come up with possible solutions (one of which can be to create another problem). Last and final rule of improvement – sustain the solution (the working of which you will understand as you read further).
Here’s what I have been doing of late (purposely written in a figure of speech to make it sound like some rules).
Go to office regularly (haven’t missed a day in 3 months), make it a point to find the most obnoxiously boring character and start up a conversation about someone else’s problems and then sit back and thank the penal code that killing people is illegal. Ask them about their family and tell them you want to see pictures. Then ask them why their “taya ji” is so ugly and listen to how he takes to his mother’s father’s brother. This should be done twice a day, 5 days a week (too much of anything is not good – remember?)
You can always find that absolutely useless thing to make a presentation about. Trust me when you go to office 3 months straight, this becomes a cake walk. Make that presentation with totally irrelevant clip art. Like, put the clip art of Santa Claus on a slide that’s titled “Solution”. Then make it a point to gather a huge audience and ramble on and on about the presentation – till you get that feeling in your chest that doesn’t let you sleep if you’re not in the right position. After that call for a dinner (make it official so you don’t have to pay) and continue discussion on your useless presentation.
After about a month of doing this, I went out for a smoke alone, picked up a coffee on the way. While I smoked I spoke for about 4 minutes on the phone. I like driving around these days and even dress up to take a dump. I don’t feel so bored doing nothing anymore.
Today while I was smoking FB came and said, “Do you know that girl in the HR team? Her brother’s wife’s cousin was fined yesterday for DUI”.
“Really?? Tell me more about it”.
Last and final rule of improvement – sustain the solution.
P.S. Acupressure treatment for a headache is to clamp down hard the soft area that connects the index finger and the thumb. The idea is to cause so much pain that you forget the headache. Really.
She & He
“All men are Bastards”, she said slamming the door behind her, almost breaking his nose in the process (intentionally). He was too proud to call her back; she was even more to agree it was her fault as much as his. Days passed and became weeks – the hatchet was buried. They were the ‘perfect’ couple again.
She always liked to walk two steps ahead of him. It made her feel superior. She was always the boss and this is how it was going to be forever between them. She asked him to pick her up every day from the gym. As usual they drove to the juice bar. She would have the mixed fruit drink and he nothing. She would tell him about how she felt good about her body and how he was so lazy. She would always want him to hit the gym with her. He preferred his Saturday tennis. She loved loud parties and somehow so did he. She’d complain how he drank too much and how he’d never change. She would be the life of every gathering and he, the quiet one in the corner. She’d flirt with every man, letting him know how lucky he was to have her and he’d just smile as it happened. She’d make small talk with the most boring of people and he was one of the boring people. Her friends hated him for being such a loser and she never met his friends.
This went on until she found someone ‘better’.
As she slammed the door on his face, he turned around throwing his fists in the air. He could now watch “The Assassins”. He knew she would be okay in a few days and it was fruitless trying to apologise. It would only feed her ego all the more.
He always let her walk two steps ahead. It was easier for him to ogle at the other women and sometimes at her behind (he told her the ‘exercises’ for the gym). He’d let her be boss – at least he wouldn’t make any (wrong) decisions. He would pick her up from the gym when he knew she was tired and wouldn’t stick around him for long and in his defense he was meeting her everyday. He never understood 100 bucks for a glass of juice when he could have a pint of beer for 35! He could play tennis for 3 hours everyday (he chose only Saturday) and her less than 1 hour of gym was a story?? But he loved the loud parties. He didn’t have to talk and even better couldn’t listen to anything she was saying. He would drink his ass off so he could pretend he was drunk. That way no intense conversations would happen. As she flirted with the men he’d smile to himself hoping one of them would take his misery away. Or at least he was glad to share it!! He would be boring so he didn’t have to be pseudo. He would always tell his friends how irritating her friends were. “If you don’t use hair color worth 4000 bucks, you won’t need to buy shampoo worth 1000 every month to protect it”. It was a field day at the tennis court when he told them the stories. He was the most popular guy at the tennis court.
He celebrated the day she found someone ‘better’. “All men are Bastards”, they screamed as they slammed their 5th shot of tequila!
And they lived happily ever after.
She always liked to walk two steps ahead of him. It made her feel superior. She was always the boss and this is how it was going to be forever between them. She asked him to pick her up every day from the gym. As usual they drove to the juice bar. She would have the mixed fruit drink and he nothing. She would tell him about how she felt good about her body and how he was so lazy. She would always want him to hit the gym with her. He preferred his Saturday tennis. She loved loud parties and somehow so did he. She’d complain how he drank too much and how he’d never change. She would be the life of every gathering and he, the quiet one in the corner. She’d flirt with every man, letting him know how lucky he was to have her and he’d just smile as it happened. She’d make small talk with the most boring of people and he was one of the boring people. Her friends hated him for being such a loser and she never met his friends.
This went on until she found someone ‘better’.
As she slammed the door on his face, he turned around throwing his fists in the air. He could now watch “The Assassins”. He knew she would be okay in a few days and it was fruitless trying to apologise. It would only feed her ego all the more.
He always let her walk two steps ahead. It was easier for him to ogle at the other women and sometimes at her behind (he told her the ‘exercises’ for the gym). He’d let her be boss – at least he wouldn’t make any (wrong) decisions. He would pick her up from the gym when he knew she was tired and wouldn’t stick around him for long and in his defense he was meeting her everyday. He never understood 100 bucks for a glass of juice when he could have a pint of beer for 35! He could play tennis for 3 hours everyday (he chose only Saturday) and her less than 1 hour of gym was a story?? But he loved the loud parties. He didn’t have to talk and even better couldn’t listen to anything she was saying. He would drink his ass off so he could pretend he was drunk. That way no intense conversations would happen. As she flirted with the men he’d smile to himself hoping one of them would take his misery away. Or at least he was glad to share it!! He would be boring so he didn’t have to be pseudo. He would always tell his friends how irritating her friends were. “If you don’t use hair color worth 4000 bucks, you won’t need to buy shampoo worth 1000 every month to protect it”. It was a field day at the tennis court when he told them the stories. He was the most popular guy at the tennis court.
He celebrated the day she found someone ‘better’. “All men are Bastards”, they screamed as they slammed their 5th shot of tequila!
And they lived happily ever after.
Damn it!!
The next three posts were not written on the same day. It's just that the internet wasn't working at home.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Dear Ex...
Dear Ex(es),
Hope this post finds you in the best of health (honestly, I don't care!).
I saw a friend turn from jolly to jelly in about 2 minutes the other night and it made me think later about all the things that people want to say to their exes. That by the way is the plural of Ex and "exs" sounds wrong. You get the point, don't you? He was at one moment talking about all his "good times" and in another he was as hurt as a naked guy sliding down a razor's edge and using his balls as breaks (I heard that in class 7 and it still hurts)!!
Now why is the nice person always left behind in a relationship (or the lack of it)? Why do the good one's end up being hurt? Why do they get scarred forever? Why do they become like dogs that have always been tied up and beaten, then one day when they were freed they bit the first person who came along lovingly? That last one was not mine but had to be included in here for it's sentimental and contextual reasons. The smart among us already know what I mean. (Note - Smart is singular). The answer is because they are STUPID! Sorry dudes and dudettes who thought I was writing for you.
So, my dear exes, I thank you for making me this way today. I know if I lose someone I will get over it. I know every girl I meet when I'm single is a potential ex-girlfriend (reference of the dog comes in here). I don't really care about most people anyway. Which also means there are those very few I do care about. Those are the one's that are extremely close to me. I will not discuss their lives (mentioning one line in a post is not discussing BTW) with anyone and even more I will not discuss my relationship with them. I'm not being protective, don't get me wrong - it's just lesser effort when they join your club and even lesser effort to make myself look like a boring person so I don't have to make small talk with anyone.
I know how much you must hate me. I know you must curse me at times and even feel pity for me. Good on you - cause I'm indifferent. Like I said I don't care. I've heard so many say "You'll never find a person like me". Sweetie if I don't want you, why THE HELL would I want a person like you? I can live with hurting someone now cause I know they'll eventually get over it, so don't bother to lump your sob stories on me. Another one bites the dust. You got what you deserved and so did I. Fin!
Love always,
Martin
P.S. This post is not targeted at anyone. Especially none of my Exes. (Did that help????). I guess not! But honestly, it's meant for a friend who I'm sure will pick it up in the morning and have a smile on his face (hunting season begins!).
Hope this post finds you in the best of health (honestly, I don't care!).
I saw a friend turn from jolly to jelly in about 2 minutes the other night and it made me think later about all the things that people want to say to their exes. That by the way is the plural of Ex and "exs" sounds wrong. You get the point, don't you? He was at one moment talking about all his "good times" and in another he was as hurt as a naked guy sliding down a razor's edge and using his balls as breaks (I heard that in class 7 and it still hurts)!!
Now why is the nice person always left behind in a relationship (or the lack of it)? Why do the good one's end up being hurt? Why do they get scarred forever? Why do they become like dogs that have always been tied up and beaten, then one day when they were freed they bit the first person who came along lovingly? That last one was not mine but had to be included in here for it's sentimental and contextual reasons. The smart among us already know what I mean. (Note - Smart is singular). The answer is because they are STUPID! Sorry dudes and dudettes who thought I was writing for you.
So, my dear exes, I thank you for making me this way today. I know if I lose someone I will get over it. I know every girl I meet when I'm single is a potential ex-girlfriend (reference of the dog comes in here). I don't really care about most people anyway. Which also means there are those very few I do care about. Those are the one's that are extremely close to me. I will not discuss their lives (mentioning one line in a post is not discussing BTW) with anyone and even more I will not discuss my relationship with them. I'm not being protective, don't get me wrong - it's just lesser effort when they join your club and even lesser effort to make myself look like a boring person so I don't have to make small talk with anyone.
I know how much you must hate me. I know you must curse me at times and even feel pity for me. Good on you - cause I'm indifferent. Like I said I don't care. I've heard so many say "You'll never find a person like me". Sweetie if I don't want you, why THE HELL would I want a person like you? I can live with hurting someone now cause I know they'll eventually get over it, so don't bother to lump your sob stories on me. Another one bites the dust. You got what you deserved and so did I. Fin!
Love always,
Martin
P.S. This post is not targeted at anyone. Especially none of my Exes. (Did that help????). I guess not! But honestly, it's meant for a friend who I'm sure will pick it up in the morning and have a smile on his face (hunting season begins!).
Smoking Kills Ver2.0
I met “FB” again today in the smoking area. For someone who doesn’t smoke she sure spends a lot of time there. I don’t want to take credit for providing the motivation but I’m beginning to get worried now. Maybe she just wants to learn the art of smoking!
Well, whatever! She came with this other girl who is incredibly hot! She’s so hot that when she walks out the entire building stops (including the air conditioning)! I know her (not at a personal level) and strangely she knows me too. Maybe FB should be inspired by me!! And then it happens all over again!
HG stands for HOT GIRL!!
HG – Why do you smoke?
ME – (drool) (drool) (drool).. I dlon’t klow! (Too much drool)
HG – Sorry, what were saying?
ME – I was saying that can I just put one finger on you?
HG – You seem like a guy who knows the ill effects of smoking.
ME – Yes I do – in fact I think I’m having that heart attack right now.
HG – So, how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?
ME – 15. (Yes – that’s all I could say)
HG – You’re the perfect recipe for impotency!
ME – No, I’m fine. Just give me one chance to prove it to you!
HG – I hate people who smoke.
ME – I like you too!
HG – Smokers have no aesthetic sense.
ME – I’ll always keep you happy.
HG – Plus, you people keep stubbing your cigarettes all over the place.
ME – You smell like heaven (am I dead??).
HG – I don’t want to lecture you because I know you probably think I’m just another person blabbering some random nonsense.
ME – Keep talking. I love your voice!
HG – You should quit.
ME – Right away sweetheart (cigarette stubbed!)
HG – So how long have you been smoking?
ME – For the last 5 minutes (chuckle!)
HG – Very funny! I meant how many years?
ME – A life time with you!
HG – When did you have your first cigarette?
ME – You have very pretty feet!
HG – I have to go now
ME – (The Def Leppard song “Two steps behind” playing in my head)
HG – Ciao!
ME – (“I’ll be two steps behind…..”)
HG – See you later
ME – (How does the second stanza start?)
HG – And stop smoking!
ME – Okay! (If it wasn’t for the smoking would you ever speak to me?)
Smoking I guess isn’t bad for me after all. (She said “See you later”! YES! YES!!)
P.S. This conversation never happened! FB did come to the smoking zone and “talked” for a bit. I tuned off completely and imagined a hot girl talking to me.
FB – Hey, where are you lost?
ME – Thank Jesus for imagination! “Ciao”!!
Well, whatever! She came with this other girl who is incredibly hot! She’s so hot that when she walks out the entire building stops (including the air conditioning)! I know her (not at a personal level) and strangely she knows me too. Maybe FB should be inspired by me!! And then it happens all over again!
HG stands for HOT GIRL!!
HG – Why do you smoke?
ME – (drool) (drool) (drool).. I dlon’t klow! (Too much drool)
HG – Sorry, what were saying?
ME – I was saying that can I just put one finger on you?
HG – You seem like a guy who knows the ill effects of smoking.
ME – Yes I do – in fact I think I’m having that heart attack right now.
HG – So, how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?
ME – 15. (Yes – that’s all I could say)
HG – You’re the perfect recipe for impotency!
ME – No, I’m fine. Just give me one chance to prove it to you!
HG – I hate people who smoke.
ME – I like you too!
HG – Smokers have no aesthetic sense.
ME – I’ll always keep you happy.
HG – Plus, you people keep stubbing your cigarettes all over the place.
ME – You smell like heaven (am I dead??).
HG – I don’t want to lecture you because I know you probably think I’m just another person blabbering some random nonsense.
ME – Keep talking. I love your voice!
HG – You should quit.
ME – Right away sweetheart (cigarette stubbed!)
HG – So how long have you been smoking?
ME – For the last 5 minutes (chuckle!)
HG – Very funny! I meant how many years?
ME – A life time with you!
HG – When did you have your first cigarette?
ME – You have very pretty feet!
HG – I have to go now
ME – (The Def Leppard song “Two steps behind” playing in my head)
HG – Ciao!
ME – (“I’ll be two steps behind…..”)
HG – See you later
ME – (How does the second stanza start?)
HG – And stop smoking!
ME – Okay! (If it wasn’t for the smoking would you ever speak to me?)
Smoking I guess isn’t bad for me after all. (She said “See you later”! YES! YES!!)
P.S. This conversation never happened! FB did come to the smoking zone and “talked” for a bit. I tuned off completely and imagined a hot girl talking to me.
FB – Hey, where are you lost?
ME – Thank Jesus for imagination! “Ciao”!!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Michael.
Michael Jackson died on the 25th of June. It was the death of an entire generation of music and the term legend was so small.
I spoke to a couple of people the next day and got some very mixed reactions. Some very sad, some not so sad, some accepting of the inevitable and some, those very few were in a way amused! It shocked everyone nevertheless. I was at least. I watched the whole episode unfold.
Now obviously this post isn't going to state the facts of what happened. Most people are probably just as aware as I am.
I listened to Michael Jackson's music as early as 1987 - really! My dad was a fan and though I didn't know who he was and way he sang like he had a flute stuck in his throat, I still liked the sound of "Billie Jean". Almost everyone will have a story relating to one of his songs. I remember having a friend (girl) who cried while watching the video for "Will you be there". It's another story that Jackson was singing that song ironically for a movie called Free "Willy". "Heal the world" was another wonder that somehow everyone had heard. My maid's children would come home when she was working and ask us to play "My-Kal Jak-Sun". That was his reach. I knew people who dedicated many years to the art of learning the moon-walk and could only master the crotch-grabbing move (not that it took any practice - but some still got it wrong, hurting themselves in a way that I can't imagine)!
I could tell you a lot of things about Michael Jackson or you could hit wikipedia yourself. Latter saves me the effort.
There were so many stories about him but few knew he was never convicted for Paedophilia. Money or Power you may say. Richard Nixon and Watergate happened in the same country I say. Wacko-Jacko may have been a very harsh nick to carry around for a guy who sold out for 50 shows between 2009 and 2010 in London way in advance. £85 million lost. The 39 charities he supported may not think of him as wacko, 13 Grammys and 13 number 1 singles, all albums at platinum and Guinness book's greatest entertainer ever is gone.
I heard a piece of news yesterday on BBC America - where a man named Sasha (yes, SASHA) said how Michael Jackson would have never been the same to his fans even if he was alive. The idiot (Sasha).
Some people even thought Michael was a faggot! Now at least hold to one thing. Faggot, pedo, wacko - none every proved. Thanks to the media they killed him before he was dead.
A good friend of mine – who is a huge hard rock fan once told me “No matter who or what you listen to, it could be Britney Spears or Black Sabbath, Michael Jackson is still the greatest ever”.
This post was not meant to preach anything. It was just my piece for Michael Jackson. The rest can “Beat it”.
I spoke to a couple of people the next day and got some very mixed reactions. Some very sad, some not so sad, some accepting of the inevitable and some, those very few were in a way amused! It shocked everyone nevertheless. I was at least. I watched the whole episode unfold.
Now obviously this post isn't going to state the facts of what happened. Most people are probably just as aware as I am.
I listened to Michael Jackson's music as early as 1987 - really! My dad was a fan and though I didn't know who he was and way he sang like he had a flute stuck in his throat, I still liked the sound of "Billie Jean". Almost everyone will have a story relating to one of his songs. I remember having a friend (girl) who cried while watching the video for "Will you be there". It's another story that Jackson was singing that song ironically for a movie called Free "Willy". "Heal the world" was another wonder that somehow everyone had heard. My maid's children would come home when she was working and ask us to play "My-Kal Jak-Sun". That was his reach. I knew people who dedicated many years to the art of learning the moon-walk and could only master the crotch-grabbing move (not that it took any practice - but some still got it wrong, hurting themselves in a way that I can't imagine)!
I could tell you a lot of things about Michael Jackson or you could hit wikipedia yourself. Latter saves me the effort.
There were so many stories about him but few knew he was never convicted for Paedophilia. Money or Power you may say. Richard Nixon and Watergate happened in the same country I say. Wacko-Jacko may have been a very harsh nick to carry around for a guy who sold out for 50 shows between 2009 and 2010 in London way in advance. £85 million lost. The 39 charities he supported may not think of him as wacko, 13 Grammys and 13 number 1 singles, all albums at platinum and Guinness book's greatest entertainer ever is gone.
I heard a piece of news yesterday on BBC America - where a man named Sasha (yes, SASHA) said how Michael Jackson would have never been the same to his fans even if he was alive. The idiot (Sasha).
Some people even thought Michael was a faggot! Now at least hold to one thing. Faggot, pedo, wacko - none every proved. Thanks to the media they killed him before he was dead.
A good friend of mine – who is a huge hard rock fan once told me “No matter who or what you listen to, it could be Britney Spears or Black Sabbath, Michael Jackson is still the greatest ever”.
This post was not meant to preach anything. It was just my piece for Michael Jackson. The rest can “Beat it”.
Friday, June 12, 2009
It's Gooood!
I've realised that writing on my blog makes me let out a lot of things I want to otherwise say, but I don't (refer to networking, Industrial waste and the "my precious" - smoking kills).
Gona's getting married to Sonali. 16th Feb. He didn't tell me this, she did. It's a classic Gona and a classic Sonali. I'm very happy for both of them inspite of knowing that it just gave my mother a memory recall.
Vikram has almost got a new girl friend! She's very sweet (if my drunken memory serves me well) and (in his own words, not mine) HOT! So, he's getting back to his ways which I shall not specify here for the benefit of the audience this can reach.
Me? I'm always good!
It's all good!!
Gona's getting married to Sonali. 16th Feb. He didn't tell me this, she did. It's a classic Gona and a classic Sonali. I'm very happy for both of them inspite of knowing that it just gave my mother a memory recall.
Vikram has almost got a new girl friend! She's very sweet (if my drunken memory serves me well) and (in his own words, not mine) HOT! So, he's getting back to his ways which I shall not specify here for the benefit of the audience this can reach.
Me? I'm always good!
It's all good!!
Smoking Kills??
It’s been a talk that I’ve received so often. I’m immune to this (usually one way) conversation. But somehow today, I ‘reacted’ to this fat girl telling me the many ill effects of smoking. Here’s how the conversation went.
(For the sake of my lethargy we shall call this girl FB and you can assume what FB is!)
FB – How many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?
ME – Less than the number of times you eat in a day.
FB – Do you know each cigarette takes away 5 minutes of your life?
ME – Why am I spending those 5 minutes talking to you anyway?
FB – Smoking kills you slowly!
ME – Cholesterol kills you too – and you’re hardly living.
FB – You’ll lose all your stamina, and won’t be able to ‘perform’.
ME – Stamina??? You’re definition of stamina must be picking up your derrière from the chair to stand up and do you even get the chance to perform?
FB – I don’t believe you still play sports.
ME – I don’ believe you know ‘bout sports!!
FB – Smoking fills your lungs with (after a little thinking) … smoke!
ME – Fat fills your arteries and your fat arse!
FB – You’ll never get your wife pregnant!
ME – With you, I can’t tell the difference!!
FB – I hear when you smoke too much, you lose your appetite.
ME – When I see you eat, I lose my appetite.
FB – That’s why you’re so thin.
ME – Maybe you should smoke too.
FB – You have dark circles because you smoke – you look like Frankenstein.
ME – You look like Jabba the Hutt!!
FB – I’ll never be married to a guy that smokes!
ME – You’ll never be married, hun!
FB – My uncle who used to smoke had a heart attack at the age of 50.
ME – My uncle who ate like a pig had a heart attack at the age of 35, and DIED!!
FB – You’re burning your money.
ME – You’re shitting most of it out!
FB – Do you think you can quit?
ME – Talking to you – yeah, sure as hell!!
FB – I know you’re not even listening to me.
ME – You’re still talking.
FB – What do you get out of smoking?
ME – Umm… smoke!?!
FB – I think smoking should be banned.
ME – Fatness should be a criminal offence liable to death penalty without a trial (or simply, who cares what you think!)
FB – Smoking makes you look older and you’ll get haggard by the age of 40!
ME – You are already ugly – and you are only 23?
FB – How old were you when you started smoking?
ME – How fat were you when you stopped trying to thin down?
FB – Your smoking pollutes the environment!
ME – No sweetie, that’s just the layer of adipose tissue on your eyes – the environment is fine!
FB – Smoking make you unacceptable in social circles!
ME – Circle – the ROUND shape!! Right!
FB – You spend 50 bucks smoking each day?????
ME – You spent 80 grand trying out that new diet!
FB – I’m on a GM diet now.
ME – That’s why they went bankrupt (GM is almost digested – BURP!!).
FB – Doesn’t your mom say anything to you?
ME – Yeah, she says don’t be mean to fat people!*
FB – Anyway my break is over (I’m going to eat again).
ME – Great, I’ll have another smoke, in peace this time.
FB – By the way, I said all that because I care!
ME – Nice try! I don’t!
FB – I think you’d be cuter if you stopped smoking.
ME – I think you’d be cuter if you were a buffalo!
FB – Anyway, hope I see you later!
ME – I don’t have the choice – I will see you. You are all over the place.
*It’s a different matter that the “ME” part of this conversation was happening in my head (but exactly in the order I put it). You see, I do listen to my mom!
P.S. I wanted to start this post with “I have nothing against fat people”. But once I finished, I realized it would be a futile attempt at convincing anyone!
(For the sake of my lethargy we shall call this girl FB and you can assume what FB is!)
FB – How many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?
ME – Less than the number of times you eat in a day.
FB – Do you know each cigarette takes away 5 minutes of your life?
ME – Why am I spending those 5 minutes talking to you anyway?
FB – Smoking kills you slowly!
ME – Cholesterol kills you too – and you’re hardly living.
FB – You’ll lose all your stamina, and won’t be able to ‘perform’.
ME – Stamina??? You’re definition of stamina must be picking up your derrière from the chair to stand up and do you even get the chance to perform?
FB – I don’t believe you still play sports.
ME – I don’ believe you know ‘bout sports!!
FB – Smoking fills your lungs with (after a little thinking) … smoke!
ME – Fat fills your arteries and your fat arse!
FB – You’ll never get your wife pregnant!
ME – With you, I can’t tell the difference!!
FB – I hear when you smoke too much, you lose your appetite.
ME – When I see you eat, I lose my appetite.
FB – That’s why you’re so thin.
ME – Maybe you should smoke too.
FB – You have dark circles because you smoke – you look like Frankenstein.
ME – You look like Jabba the Hutt!!
FB – I’ll never be married to a guy that smokes!
ME – You’ll never be married, hun!
FB – My uncle who used to smoke had a heart attack at the age of 50.
ME – My uncle who ate like a pig had a heart attack at the age of 35, and DIED!!
FB – You’re burning your money.
ME – You’re shitting most of it out!
FB – Do you think you can quit?
ME – Talking to you – yeah, sure as hell!!
FB – I know you’re not even listening to me.
ME – You’re still talking.
FB – What do you get out of smoking?
ME – Umm… smoke!?!
FB – I think smoking should be banned.
ME – Fatness should be a criminal offence liable to death penalty without a trial (or simply, who cares what you think!)
FB – Smoking makes you look older and you’ll get haggard by the age of 40!
ME – You are already ugly – and you are only 23?
FB – How old were you when you started smoking?
ME – How fat were you when you stopped trying to thin down?
FB – Your smoking pollutes the environment!
ME – No sweetie, that’s just the layer of adipose tissue on your eyes – the environment is fine!
FB – Smoking make you unacceptable in social circles!
ME – Circle – the ROUND shape!! Right!
FB – You spend 50 bucks smoking each day?????
ME – You spent 80 grand trying out that new diet!
FB – I’m on a GM diet now.
ME – That’s why they went bankrupt (GM is almost digested – BURP!!).
FB – Doesn’t your mom say anything to you?
ME – Yeah, she says don’t be mean to fat people!*
FB – Anyway my break is over (I’m going to eat again).
ME – Great, I’ll have another smoke, in peace this time.
FB – By the way, I said all that because I care!
ME – Nice try! I don’t!
FB – I think you’d be cuter if you stopped smoking.
ME – I think you’d be cuter if you were a buffalo!
FB – Anyway, hope I see you later!
ME – I don’t have the choice – I will see you. You are all over the place.
*It’s a different matter that the “ME” part of this conversation was happening in my head (but exactly in the order I put it). You see, I do listen to my mom!
P.S. I wanted to start this post with “I have nothing against fat people”. But once I finished, I realized it would be a futile attempt at convincing anyone!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
My Favourite Sin!
Vanity, my favourite sin.*
We meet so many people. So many good souls, proud souls, bad souls, weird souls (mostly), nice souls, etcetra, etcetra.
I've known all of the above and will continue to know.
A friend once told me this (thanks Rashmi), is that a person may not be proud but that does not mean they are not vain! So true! Vanity! A simple girl from a humble background, pretty, does a movie, dumps her boyfriend of many years to be with a popular guy probably half as good looking (Frieda Pinto - Slumdog Millionaire)! A gorgeous guy, leaves his girl, the one that supported his dreams, to screw some ugly lady on P3 (So many, don't make me count. Hello, Tom Cruise!). Hollywood (even Bollywood) divorce 'cause I'm better than you. I"M BETTER THAN YOU!
Strangely, we have the same anatomy, same bio chemistry, same physics to follow and yet we're so different! Where is the difference? It's simple. Vanity! All disastrous relations (man and woman, mother and child, father and child, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, master and mistress, man and animal, man and God, Bulls and Lakers!) all follow the same pattern - we all feel in some way "I'm better". Even when you get dumped - you think about all the bad things in your head that became true and you were right? Think again - were you right? Did you have the pride to say sorry - knowing you may not be wrong, but it would make things right? Did you have the pride to make that phone call that never happened till an e-mail told you were single? Did you have the pride to tell your parents that their out-dated ideas were not so bad because your salary hike was like charity from the organisation?
Pride - let me say this, is not about standing up for everything you say. Pride - is about changing what you believed (if you were wrong) and never giving up!
Don't mix the two.
Vanity, Definitely my favourite sin.**
P.S. I'm going to say more on this topic soon - and I don't care what you think, cause you don't matter! ;)
*&** Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate"
We meet so many people. So many good souls, proud souls, bad souls, weird souls (mostly), nice souls, etcetra, etcetra.
I've known all of the above and will continue to know.
A friend once told me this (thanks Rashmi), is that a person may not be proud but that does not mean they are not vain! So true! Vanity! A simple girl from a humble background, pretty, does a movie, dumps her boyfriend of many years to be with a popular guy probably half as good looking (Frieda Pinto - Slumdog Millionaire)! A gorgeous guy, leaves his girl, the one that supported his dreams, to screw some ugly lady on P3 (So many, don't make me count. Hello, Tom Cruise!). Hollywood (even Bollywood) divorce 'cause I'm better than you. I"M BETTER THAN YOU!
Strangely, we have the same anatomy, same bio chemistry, same physics to follow and yet we're so different! Where is the difference? It's simple. Vanity! All disastrous relations (man and woman, mother and child, father and child, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, master and mistress, man and animal, man and God, Bulls and Lakers!) all follow the same pattern - we all feel in some way "I'm better". Even when you get dumped - you think about all the bad things in your head that became true and you were right? Think again - were you right? Did you have the pride to say sorry - knowing you may not be wrong, but it would make things right? Did you have the pride to make that phone call that never happened till an e-mail told you were single? Did you have the pride to tell your parents that their out-dated ideas were not so bad because your salary hike was like charity from the organisation?
Pride - let me say this, is not about standing up for everything you say. Pride - is about changing what you believed (if you were wrong) and never giving up!
Don't mix the two.
Vanity, Definitely my favourite sin.**
P.S. I'm going to say more on this topic soon - and I don't care what you think, cause you don't matter! ;)
*&** Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate"
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Industrial Waste!
Everybody talks about BPOs as an industry now. So in our industry hiring is like this.. training is like that.. employee benefits are so and so.. remuneration is so-so (really!).. and so on and so forth.
I've been doing this for 5 years now - I've had the chance of meeting the wise and the otherwise, and a lot of people I see, come in the latter category. I would give out specific instances but I'm too pussy for that (you know, with the meltdown and all).
Well I do come up with several terms for them now... some of them -
"My ass is where my mouth should be - so I talk shit all the time"
"I'm too frustrated - so I try to show everybody who is boss" (my wife kicked my ass this morning again - the bitch!)
"I'm too frustrated - so I'll let you walk all over me" (my wife kicked my ass this morning again - I'm beginning to like it!)
"I don't know the pronunciation of 'apparently' - but I like the sound of it and will replace every 'actually' in my sentence with 'ap-rent-ly' - (what does the word mean again???)
"I don't have a clue of what to do - so let me make it difficult for you to understand everthing I say"
INDUSTRIAL WASTE has a whole new meaning!
I've been doing this for 5 years now - I've had the chance of meeting the wise and the otherwise, and a lot of people I see, come in the latter category. I would give out specific instances but I'm too pussy for that (you know, with the meltdown and all).
Well I do come up with several terms for them now... some of them -
"My ass is where my mouth should be - so I talk shit all the time"
"I'm too frustrated - so I try to show everybody who is boss" (my wife kicked my ass this morning again - the bitch!)
"I'm too frustrated - so I'll let you walk all over me" (my wife kicked my ass this morning again - I'm beginning to like it!)
"I don't know the pronunciation of 'apparently' - but I like the sound of it and will replace every 'actually' in my sentence with 'ap-rent-ly' - (what does the word mean again???)
"I don't have a clue of what to do - so let me make it difficult for you to understand everthing I say"
INDUSTRIAL WASTE has a whole new meaning!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
One.
I heard this one after really long - One by U2. Hmmm...
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame
You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
It's one love
We get to share it
It leaves you baby
If you don't care for it
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's too late
Tonight
To drag the past out
Into the light
We're one
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
One
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
We hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
One
One.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
So much to say
Sometimes I have so much to say that I
Don't know what to say..
Don't know where to start..
Don't know who to say it to..
So I keep it to myself and forget!! Yes.. Just like that!
Don't know what to say..
Don't know where to start..
Don't know who to say it to..
So I keep it to myself and forget!! Yes.. Just like that!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Alice
Today I was driving home from work and playing a CD Herbert burnt. The hip-hop has kept me company on many a long rides now. I usually go to the next track when I hear the begining of a song I may not like (very important - "may").
The music kept playing and suddenly came up something that sounded very familiar but not something I remember listening to on this CD - ALICE!! The song by the way is not "Who the Fuck is Alice", no matter what you think or claim to know! And it's been sung a few times, even once by a guy called Roy "Chubby" Brown!!! Before you start to investigate - I "googled" it up too.. so don't bother - I'm right!
So.... This song brought back many memories - not of Alice, but of the days when we'd listen to this song and think we were so bad! He He He.. Don't deny it! I even remember a whole load of my friends having this song on tape (ya, the good ol' tape) and they'd write the name on the cover as "Who the F*** is Alice", "Who the HECK is Alice", Who the BEEP is Alice", "Who is Alice" and then some of the greater beings amongst us knew it was just "Alice". And I swear I remember people writing "HECK" and "BEEP" - Losers!! Right?? Yes they were losers even back then! I think even I wrote it as one of them - People change alright!!
I was introduced to the song in 1995 at our class 8 christmas party. Right - Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas Party - Loads of chips (wafers to some), loads of areated drinks, samosas, cake, dhokla and everything good under the sun. My contribution? 20 rupees and sometimes my music player - I did have a "cool" one (music player)! The day would be crazy and to think it was immediately after our half-yearly exams, made it all the better! We'd dance like we had ants up our arses, with other men (perverts, back then they were boys - which I realise makes it sound even worse!) and sing along - way before paying 500 rupees for Karaoke caught up! Incidentally, Karoke was invented by a Japanese Guy!! I wonder why we have no world renowned rock/pop/anything bands from Japan? The day would end just like that - us sweating like pigs, hair messed like we came out of a storm, tired as dogs and yet no one cared! Every one, I believe atleast, went home happy!
We all have moved on since - I meet some of the guys from school now, hair well done, cloths crisp as those chips, singing along softly (if at all) to the music playing in the club. I cannot complain, I'm the same. Only same till I meet some of the guys I knew in school and I can sing along and sweat and dance. It was a good time!!
Funny, it took "Alice" to bring this back to me.
P.S. Who the fuck IS Alice?
The music kept playing and suddenly came up something that sounded very familiar but not something I remember listening to on this CD - ALICE!! The song by the way is not "Who the Fuck is Alice", no matter what you think or claim to know! And it's been sung a few times, even once by a guy called Roy "Chubby" Brown!!! Before you start to investigate - I "googled" it up too.. so don't bother - I'm right!
So.... This song brought back many memories - not of Alice, but of the days when we'd listen to this song and think we were so bad! He He He.. Don't deny it! I even remember a whole load of my friends having this song on tape (ya, the good ol' tape) and they'd write the name on the cover as "Who the F*** is Alice", "Who the HECK is Alice", Who the BEEP is Alice", "Who is Alice" and then some of the greater beings amongst us knew it was just "Alice". And I swear I remember people writing "HECK" and "BEEP" - Losers!! Right?? Yes they were losers even back then! I think even I wrote it as one of them - People change alright!!
I was introduced to the song in 1995 at our class 8 christmas party. Right - Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas Party - Loads of chips (wafers to some), loads of areated drinks, samosas, cake, dhokla and everything good under the sun. My contribution? 20 rupees and sometimes my music player - I did have a "cool" one (music player)! The day would be crazy and to think it was immediately after our half-yearly exams, made it all the better! We'd dance like we had ants up our arses, with other men (perverts, back then they were boys - which I realise makes it sound even worse!) and sing along - way before paying 500 rupees for Karaoke caught up! Incidentally, Karoke was invented by a Japanese Guy!! I wonder why we have no world renowned rock/pop/anything bands from Japan? The day would end just like that - us sweating like pigs, hair messed like we came out of a storm, tired as dogs and yet no one cared! Every one, I believe atleast, went home happy!
We all have moved on since - I meet some of the guys from school now, hair well done, cloths crisp as those chips, singing along softly (if at all) to the music playing in the club. I cannot complain, I'm the same. Only same till I meet some of the guys I knew in school and I can sing along and sweat and dance. It was a good time!!
Funny, it took "Alice" to bring this back to me.
P.S. Who the fuck IS Alice?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Friends..
Here’s a story about me - a boy who was neither too good at sport nor noticeable for his literary abilities, he considers himself a bad singer and an even worse musician...
He’s played basketball for his college and football for a club, he boxed in school (and kicked some ass) and even once ran the 100 meters final in school (at the behest of his best friend, who was too scared of not being “Rex Lodurum”)! He sang in the school choir and learnt to play the drums, he won debates (when his girlfriend was like Shakespeare’s daughter) and wrote poetry (some still find them moving – he doesn’t remember any) and then he left it all behind and took up a job!
Dreams were killed and he doesn’t know why.
His friends haven’t changed from those days; it’s still them – Vikram, Gona and Lynell!
Vikram – The man without a boundary. You can’t put this man on leash! He’s too wild for anyone in this world! He’s never played a sport – but he still thinks he’s the best at one of them – SEX!! He’s so proud of his achievements that I’m worried about writing this. But his greatest quality (sorry women who’ve been with him) is his bad assed humour! Honest, that’s probably how they all fell for him! He’s dirty, he’s vocal about being dirty (Tarun knows Vik), and all the women love him for being dirty! As for me, HATS OFF! I’ve not been able to say a thing to my girlfriend that you’ve said to my girlfriend! I still wonder how he does it?????
But before you judge him – my friend is a lover! He’s loved every girl in his life as if they were his last. He doesn’t say badly about them after either. He’s single – but he’s still the funniest. I always say – he can make a table laugh! More to come...
Gona – The guy every girl would live her life with!!! REALLY!! He’s got a girl – Sonali. She’s almost like him. Good looking, carefree, in love, honest, mature, lovable, perfect, dependable and if I say anymore I’ll sound bi-sexual. I love him because of the way he is with her and I love her because of the way she’s with him... I wish I could be that way!
Gona and I have been best friend for 16 years now – and he never lets me down. I tell the world he’s clumsy, he takes it to another level! I’ve known people that never met Gona and yet fell in love with him because of I spoke about him to them. I feel like his pimp – but I never did it consciously! More to come...
Lynell – THE MAN!!! He looks like Luis Figo. He’s been the wildest among us! He’s not just a mad man – he’s insane. I hear he’s got himself a Moroccan girl named Lou – and he’s planning to get engaged! My mom loves Lynell like a son – and this is bad news for me!!!! Though Lou is very pretty – it’s gonna cause me sooo much grief!
Congrats my friend.. if you’ve picked her – she’s very lucky! I can’t say anymore! More to come...
As for me... I’m okay! More to come...
P.S. Why doesn't the term "Female bonding" exist??
He’s played basketball for his college and football for a club, he boxed in school (and kicked some ass) and even once ran the 100 meters final in school (at the behest of his best friend, who was too scared of not being “Rex Lodurum”)! He sang in the school choir and learnt to play the drums, he won debates (when his girlfriend was like Shakespeare’s daughter) and wrote poetry (some still find them moving – he doesn’t remember any) and then he left it all behind and took up a job!
Dreams were killed and he doesn’t know why.
His friends haven’t changed from those days; it’s still them – Vikram, Gona and Lynell!
Vikram – The man without a boundary. You can’t put this man on leash! He’s too wild for anyone in this world! He’s never played a sport – but he still thinks he’s the best at one of them – SEX!! He’s so proud of his achievements that I’m worried about writing this. But his greatest quality (sorry women who’ve been with him) is his bad assed humour! Honest, that’s probably how they all fell for him! He’s dirty, he’s vocal about being dirty (Tarun knows Vik), and all the women love him for being dirty! As for me, HATS OFF! I’ve not been able to say a thing to my girlfriend that you’ve said to my girlfriend! I still wonder how he does it?????
But before you judge him – my friend is a lover! He’s loved every girl in his life as if they were his last. He doesn’t say badly about them after either. He’s single – but he’s still the funniest. I always say – he can make a table laugh! More to come...
Gona – The guy every girl would live her life with!!! REALLY!! He’s got a girl – Sonali. She’s almost like him. Good looking, carefree, in love, honest, mature, lovable, perfect, dependable and if I say anymore I’ll sound bi-sexual. I love him because of the way he is with her and I love her because of the way she’s with him... I wish I could be that way!
Gona and I have been best friend for 16 years now – and he never lets me down. I tell the world he’s clumsy, he takes it to another level! I’ve known people that never met Gona and yet fell in love with him because of I spoke about him to them. I feel like his pimp – but I never did it consciously! More to come...
Lynell – THE MAN!!! He looks like Luis Figo. He’s been the wildest among us! He’s not just a mad man – he’s insane. I hear he’s got himself a Moroccan girl named Lou – and he’s planning to get engaged! My mom loves Lynell like a son – and this is bad news for me!!!! Though Lou is very pretty – it’s gonna cause me sooo much grief!
Congrats my friend.. if you’ve picked her – she’s very lucky! I can’t say anymore! More to come...
As for me... I’m okay! More to come...
P.S. Why doesn't the term "Female bonding" exist??
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Networking..
I met an old acquaintance the other day – and by the end of this you’ll know why I called this person an acquaintance;
He walked into me like I was his great pal from some age and then he left pointing in a very “50 Cent way” and said, “I’ll catch you on facebook bro”!! He didn’t ask for a contact number, an email ID, where I stay, no sir – nothing! FACEBOOK!!! I have nothing against the “information age” but then again where are the old simple things? So let’s cut the long story short – he didn’t catch me. Infact he missed by a mile.
I’m not “on” facebook and yes I know how it works! I don’t need to be in touch with anyone apart from the ones I’m already in touch with. I may sound like an ass hole but if you’re reading this I’ve proved my point already. If you’re sneaking into this you’ll have a very good idea about where to find me and if you don’t have an idea then I’m proving my point all over again!
Think about this – how many of the facebook friends that you have, spoke to you in the last one month or even better – a year! I agree the concept is brilliant, but then again so was the concept of the atom bomb! Okay maybe the analogy is a little extreme but what is this whole thing? It’s like a competition to be cool? And they even call your list of people “friends”!
I say again, I have nothing against this – just don’t ask me to join or try to “catch me bro” on facebook, orkut, WAYN, Hi-5, etc. I’m not a social networking person and I probably will never be. Here’s one for all my friends – the ones who’ve been around even when I got left behind, the ones who still believe in talking than writing on my wall or scrapping!
Here’s my side of the story and I’m sure more will disagree than agree. I don’t care and I’m sure you already know that!
P.S. Is there a difference between I don’t give a shit and I give a shit (for some of you shit can be replaced with fuck)
He walked into me like I was his great pal from some age and then he left pointing in a very “50 Cent way” and said, “I’ll catch you on facebook bro”!! He didn’t ask for a contact number, an email ID, where I stay, no sir – nothing! FACEBOOK!!! I have nothing against the “information age” but then again where are the old simple things? So let’s cut the long story short – he didn’t catch me. Infact he missed by a mile.
I’m not “on” facebook and yes I know how it works! I don’t need to be in touch with anyone apart from the ones I’m already in touch with. I may sound like an ass hole but if you’re reading this I’ve proved my point already. If you’re sneaking into this you’ll have a very good idea about where to find me and if you don’t have an idea then I’m proving my point all over again!
Think about this – how many of the facebook friends that you have, spoke to you in the last one month or even better – a year! I agree the concept is brilliant, but then again so was the concept of the atom bomb! Okay maybe the analogy is a little extreme but what is this whole thing? It’s like a competition to be cool? And they even call your list of people “friends”!
I say again, I have nothing against this – just don’t ask me to join or try to “catch me bro” on facebook, orkut, WAYN, Hi-5, etc. I’m not a social networking person and I probably will never be. Here’s one for all my friends – the ones who’ve been around even when I got left behind, the ones who still believe in talking than writing on my wall or scrapping!
Here’s my side of the story and I’m sure more will disagree than agree. I don’t care and I’m sure you already know that!
P.S. Is there a difference between I don’t give a shit and I give a shit (for some of you shit can be replaced with fuck)
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