The Decent Human Beings win one?

Courtesy Reuters.

Blog Guy, it looks like you’re gloating about something.

You bet I am. The Catalonia region of Spain has just passed a ban on bullfighting, a barbaric activity which I have mocked repeatedly in my blog. I like to think my readers helped tip the balance.

Congrats, Blog Guy. So what were the main factions in the debate over there?

It was the Decent Human Being faction against the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction.

Can you boil down the basic arguments of those two sides?

Sure. The Decent Human Beings felt that slowly torturing an animal to death while bloodthirsty imbeciles cheer in the stands has no place in the 21st century. As for the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction, their side is so ridiculous it’s not even worth repeating.

Wait, Blog Guy, you owe us a fair representation of both sides. We deserve that.

Oh, okay. Our story quoted bullfighter Serafin Marin as saying, “It’s not a cruel show. Completely the opposite. It’s a show that creates art…”

You’re making that up, right?

It sounds made-up, doesn’t it? I swear it’s true.

But Blog Guy, the great writer Ernest Hemingway wrote about bullfighting, and saw honor and courage in the tradition!

Hemingway was a decent writer, but a deficient human. If there was a dumbass thing to do, he would do it. You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad.

I read that bullfighting is a huge part of Spain’s economy, with tickets earning many millions of euros a year. That’s going to hurt!


Hey, maybe it’s time the Spanish discover movies and cable television, like the rest of us.

And what about all the money made from selling those elaborate matador outfits?

Those silly costumes haven’t been banned. The soon-to-be-former bullfighters in Catalonia can still wear them to the supermarket, to play miniature golf or whatever, if they don’t mind the laughter.

P.S. I just liked the article so much that I couldn't help posting it.
"You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad". That's the best. HA HA HA

Lost hope.

I lose hope every now and then and there are people that kick it right back in place for me. Let's just say, I'm not depressive, but yes I need some humans to make me believe ever so often.

I'm a load of bull with an attitude and a gun in my back pocket. And I won't die for someone, I'd kill for them.

Love,

Me

Fine.. I'm Sorry! Alright!!

My men friends obviously know the correct intonation of the title of this post.

So, Delhi is not a bad city. People there DO NOT show off (they genuinely own choppers and Mercs). So what if all of them have a swimming pool in their backyards? They worked hard to afford it and NO they did not con anyone to make that money (okay, maybe one or two people). And YES, Goa is in the neighbourhood when you own a chopper. You low-life Mumbai lovers will never get it. Even Delhi has a lot of energy.. maybe even more than Mumbai (how else do you think we keep talking about ourselves everyday, till we die). Sachin Tendulkar is Indian so you cannot take credit for him (Just like Arnold Schwarznegger is from Umreeka). So what if we love Rajma Chawal and Chhole, don't you love your Vada Pav? And Rajma Chawal tastes much better, especially when my mom makes it. But I also like the one this guy makes at 2am and this 12 star hotel in Delhi also makes great Rajma Chawal.. but well, the point is, so what if we love Rajma Chawal. BTW, I hate Vada Pav.

Lun-dun IS a great city. Half my family lives there. I know. So don't keep assuming shit and just because you have a blog - don't go degrading my city and its people. We Londoners are very proud of being from London (hmmmm...). Also, Gurgaon has the biggest mall in the Milky Way. Did you even know that? You Mumbai loving idiot! You people have NOTHING in Mumbai. Your city stinks! Do you have the metro? Our metro is the worlds fastest. But obviously a local train loving piece of shit wouldn't know the pleasures of being in an air-conditioned train. But we only take the metro when the chopper goes for servicing. So don't ever say shit about Delhi. Okay?

I would write more but now I need to test fly my new jet.

P.S. Incase you haven't noticed - it's been called "Mumbai" all through this post.

This is how I had to learn..

Then there are people like me in this world. Who believe they're extremely strong inside. We can conquer any situation, come out of a problem unscathed and land on our feet each time we fall. We have a solution to every problem that we or anyone can face. We've understood existence and secrets of survival - and we will always be okay. Mind you, just okay.

I've often felt this way and when faced with a problem I just withdraw from the world and want to be left all alone. If I can sleep over it, I will get over it. And this is how it's been all these years.

I've stayed away from people only 'cause I was pulling my self together to be the unbreakable person again. I love it each time that I feel that way. But today something happened.. and I never thought I'd feel that again. I felt a fraction of the hurt I've felt when people left or my heart was broken. I'm still amazed. Here it goes.. I know you'll probably laugh at me.

About 4 years ago, I finally bought my very first possession. A bike. It was (and probably still is) the most beautiful bike that was ever made in India. A lot of people agree to that. I felt like a real stud on the bike. It got me so much attention. But somehow I don't think I rode too well 'cause I fell off it way too many times. Maybe the bike was too powerful for me after all. That's when Herbert inherited it. And last week he sold the bike (obviously with my permission). I did not care.

I went this morning to have the sale papers signed and there it was. The most beautiful of the bikes standing among hundreds. It was the best bike I've ever seen. Strange thing is, all this time when it was still there, I would not even notice if it was in the parking or not. I tried to avoid it and just sign the papers and get out. But I just kept looking at it. Finally, I asked the guy if I could sit on it. He smiled and said, "You know, it's still yours". I just turned around.. walked out of the lot and signed the papers without even looking back once.

On the way back home, I felt that heaviness in my heart. The heaviness that makes us human. The feeling that tells us we're in love when something isn't right. So it was only a fraction of the heaviness yes, but it was for a bike!

It's one of those days where I don't feel so smart.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom!

Bombay Vs. Delhi (The questionnaire)

Bombay versus Delhi (city names in chronological order since I love both of them equally as you’re about to find out)

Here’s a set of questions I’ve designed to put this argument to an end and since I’ve stayed in both cities (at least close) I’ve put the potential answers in as well. Yes with hyperbole! Just to add to the humor!

This was originally designed as a table but I couldn’t put it on the blog. So now I have to re-invent.

Legend:
M – Me (asking the questions obviously) and in parenthesis are my feeling towards some of the answers.. or “feelings” in general.
B – The Bombayite
D – The Delhite

Let’s begin.

M: What do you love most about your city?
B: The energy Bombay has.. (yeah, and I wish they'd stay home so I can get to work on time!)
D: Bandiyan!! (Whatever!)

M: What do you hate most about your city?
B: Kya??
D: I know the Prime Minister of India. He's my maternal uncle. ( I thought your mom was from Bihar? And WTF!)

M: What would you say about the people in your city?
B: People? What people?
D: Aarey, kya sahi bandiyan hain!

M: Do you like the roads of your city?
B: Listen man, I really don't have the time for this.
D: Roads? I don’t know. I only use my chopper to get to places. (okay…)

M: What do you think of the traffic in your city?
B: What did I just tell you?
D: Sometimes when I use my Murr-sur-dees… (never mind)

M: Do you like Bombay?
B: Yes man.. obviously! Are you stupid?
D: Dilli ki bandiyan!! Yaar…

M: Do you like Delhi?
B: Who?
D: Dilli ki bandiyan!!

M: How's the night life in your city?
B: All time is life. Day, night, afternoon, monsoon..
D: There is this place I know, where we can get Rajma Chawal even at 2 am!! He also makes chhole and Aloo ke paranthe and.. (dude stop!)

M: Does the city allows you to have a peaceful life?
B: Dude.. You really don't get it do you?
D: Jab mere papa ghar se nikalte hain to poora mohalla unko namaste karta hai aur Prime Minister mere papa ke dost hain aur meri mummy ki dost minister (okay, okay, okay.. So you do have a peaceful life)

M: I think your city sucks ass!
B: Tuja aayee cha…
D: Paanchod!

M: Who is the most famous person from your city?
B: Sachin!!!
D: Mere papa aur.. (fuck it)

M: If you had to live in another city anywhere in the world, which would it be?
B: Bombay, Bombay, Bombay…
D: Um-ree-ka (but that's not a city) or Lun-dun

M: What's the one thing you love most about your city?
B: Ay, tere ko kam samajta hai kya? Bola na abhi time nahi hai!
D: Bandiyan, mere papa, meri mummy, rajma chawal, prime minister uncle, my helicopter, mur-sur-dees, Lundun, Umreeka…

M: What's the one thing you hate most about your city?
B: You in it! Fuck off!
D: Middle class and poor people!

M: How the weather in your city?
B: (kick in the nuts)..
D: I use AC all the time. I have AC in my car.. In my chopper.. In my house.. In my swimming pool.. In my neighbours swimming pool.. Mere papa.. Meri mummy.. rajma chawal.. aloo ke paranthe..

M: What are the good places to visit near your city?
B: (aaaarrrghhhhh)..
D: Gurgaon and my neighbours swimming pool.. And the chief minister aunty's house.. And Priyas.. And.. Umm.. Goa (what!)

M: What would you say is the one greatest thing about your city?
B: Saale.. have you not had enough already?
D: Hmmm.. Mere papa, Meri Mummy, Lun-Dun, Umreeka, Chhole, Rajma chawal, Helicopter, Sukhoi, Mig-29, Concorde, Ferrari, Suzuki Hayabusa, Holy-wud, Sha-ruk Kan, Metro, UFOs.. (kick in the nuts.. I said one thing!)

As I mentioned.. these are answers I expect. Please feel free to add to the list of questions and probable answers. We’ll settle this debate once and for all ;)

P.S. I love Delhi! Let the games begin!

Please take this as a joke all you people in Bombay and Delhi. I don't want no papas and bhais hunting me down tomorrow.

Profile Picture!

Now, stop making such a noise about me finally having put a picture on my G-Talk profile. Let's just say I had to do it. Stop being such easily pleased people for the love of God! "Oooooh, Martin Meganath finally has a profile pic", "Martin, whose photo is that", ("your fathers" - I want to say), "Look who put up a profile pictuuuure", "Oh my God! What's wrong with you? You put a picture?". All these comments to me are just people with very low satisfaction levels and no sense of humor at all. (Is there such a thing as a negative sense of humor). Oh, and also, "HE HE HE.." is in the same category as the others.

BTW, while I was going through the my contacts on G-Talk, I realised NONE of them have even remotely flattering pictures. NONE! Not a single person. NOBODY! Tch.. Tch.. Okay if any of my bosses in office are reading this - you're not included in the list and why do we have to use G-Talk? I mean are we going to start using FB (the jargon of "the generation") next?

Also, since I'm the author of this blog, I can delete any comment you post here. It'll be like it never existed. I thought it would be good to know information. :)

P.S. You all know how much I like you guys! martin.meganath@gmail.com in case you want to add me on G-Talk. But you guys already know that since you read my blogs. (I have such a smirk on my face).

I looked at all the pictures again. Maybe 2 or 3 people do have nice pictures. Hmmm..

Facebook invitations (or whatever you call them)

Dear All,

If you do intend to do something major and want witnesses to the episode, be nicer than sending Facebook invites. I understand it's cheap, but that's what it makes you look too.

Have a heart to do some traditional things. Ask a photographer what those prints mean to him. Ask you parents if they still have letters and cards from those years. And yes, please send people invitations (preferably paper or any other material which can be printed upon and mailed or hand delivered) if you expect them to be a part of what may be only important to you. They'll be there just so they can share the moment with you. If you did not have that moment, they'd be no different. Remember?

And yes, since I've NEVER been on Facebook and expect people on Facebook to know who they have on their "friends" list, you could not have expected me there. Could you?

Love,

Martin

P.S. An anonymous comment written today on one of my earlier blogs (much early this year) triggered this off. The audacity amazed me for a moment and I decided to return the favor. But I mean no harm.

No hard feelings. :)

I lurrrve...

(The original has been taken off)

Read it again this morning and thought "lots of things missing". Will write a more comprehensive list the next time.

Sorry for the ones that didn't read it. You didn't miss anything, don't worry.

Old songs.. same feelings..

Foreigner - I want to know what love is.

Read the lines.. please..


I've gotta take a little time,
A little time to think things over,
I better read between the lines,
In case I need it when I'm older.

Now this mountain I must climb,
Feels like the world upon my shoulders,
Through the clouds I see love shine,
It keeps me warm as life grows colder,
In my life, there´s been heart-ache and pain,
I don´t know, if I can face it again,
Can´t stop now,
I´ve travelled so far,
To change this lonely life,

(Chorus)
I wanna know what love is,
I want you to show me,
I wanna feel what love is,
I know you can show me,

I´m gonna take a little time,
A little time to look around me,
I´ve got nowhere left to hide,
It looks like love has finally found me,
In my life, there´s been heartache and pain,
I don´t know, if I can face it again,
Can´t stop now,
I´ve travelled so far, to change this lonely life,

(Chorus)

P.S. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's honking, making a chugging sound and coming closer very fast.

(Posted half asleep)

Lonely? No, Alone.

There's a difference you know. You can be lonely with all the people in the world around you. And yet you're not alone.

And you can be alone at home on a Sunday afternoon writing a post about loneliness and yet not feel lonely.

Our greatest gift is our imagination. Without a bloody doubt. Thank you God!

The day Diego went away..

That's about Forlan BTW! I'm in complete awe of that guy!

Mom

She's been the greatest inspiration in my life.. She's been the perfect woman. The reason I find most 'independent women' not independent, is Her. She redefined independent even for a man.

I owe her so much that if she asked me to jump off a 100 floor building, I'd do it with a smile (a big one, that). Girls in my life have said I'm a mamas boy, yeah, only, mama's got a license for a gun!

I told her something yesterday that I thought she would completely freak out about. But I needed her approval. She, the lady that she is, did not even wince when she said "good beta". I haven't told anyone about this particular 'thing' yet. But I will. It's probably way too close to my heart to talk about and I'm still in the process of being sure. Not in a bad way. In a good way where you feel, can this really happen to me?

She's the strongest human being I know. She's seen the worst of things and she's got the warmest smile. A teacher in my school once asked me, "are you Jannet's son"? "You have her smile". I couldn't stop smiling that entire day. I was like a retard walking around with a smile plastered on my face.

Every Christmas when it's freezing outside I come out of church in the middle of the night and hold my mothers hand. It's always warm. She doesn't even know it happens every year.

I'm extremely impressed with her. For a guy that's never impressed with anyone or anything, this should tell you why.

I love my mum, very very very much (Herbert beats her by the skin of a teeth though). I miss having her around. I'm lucky she had me.

P.S. (A very unnecessary post script)

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin: I think a man. And then I take away reason and accountability.

(As good as it gets)

Horses and G-Talk

HORSES!

Ghodey in Hindi. That's what Herbert says when something screws him completely. My mum doesn't like the the way he says "Ghodey lag gaye merey" so he now says "horses"! E.g. "Herb.. how was your day at work today"? "Horses". I told this story to a colleague - and this morning when he was shit busy he 'pings' (an IM sent on G-Talk) me saying I can only think of one word.. Horses! I will not go into the details of the origin of the word in Hindi or in Herbie's vocab. Let's just say it's a combination of 2 dirty Hindi words.. G-Hodey! If you are as corrupted as I believe most of you are you'll get it. Please try not to let me down. (Rashmi - I will tell only you about it separately).

Also, G-Talk isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Facebook may not be very far away. Many people are going to win a lot of money if I do join Facebook. Congrats to you guys.. and please share the spoils!

So, I'm always online and I met a friend - Ravi the other day. Ravi's parents and my mom know each other for 40 years now. He and I are born on the exact same day - 10th November 1982. We went to school together from class 7 to class 12. Infact we even scored the same marks in 10th! 'Something' went majorly wrong in between. Now he's in the US and I chatted with him the other day. Strangely, he still sounds like me with his thoughts!

And, I'm single again! Do not call to ask what happened. If you know me well, you know I need to deal with it alone.

P.S. "What do you call a man who has a huge thing"?
"Dick"?

Chao?? Bombay - Day 1 again.

What THE FUCK is "Chao"? I try very very very hard not to be condescending - but no.. people just won't let it be!

Back in Bombay. The rain gods have been more than generous this morning. I don't even know why I bothered to carry an umbrella (yes, I carried an umbrella). I was still drenched! The rickshaw fares have gone up. The office looks different. So much has changed in one month. I don't like.

Last Sunday, when I was in Bangalore, England lost to Germany (congrats Shweta, but I think it's still debatable). I was extremely upset - so much that I fell ill the next day. Fever and a bad throat. So I took a crocin and an antibiotic. The antibiotic gave me an upset stomach, so I took another medicine (Tinidazole) for that. I had an allergy to Tinidazole and had a blister on my lip. I want it to heal quickly, so I took an antibiotic again and got a bad stomach again. Moral of the story - Don't support that SHITE of a team England any more.

P.S. "You know why you and I are never on the same page? 'Cause we don't have a common problem".

WOW!!

Home??

I'm back in Pune after almost 2 months. Yes.. this is the city I love. It holds my soul no matter where I go. But is it home? I don't know. Technically Bombay should be home.

I got into Pune at 3:30am on Saturday and a more befitting welcome could have not been given. I drank with my elder brother at the place called Mini Punjab. They BTW have the timings on their menu as "Aapke aane se aapke jaane tak" (how nice!).

I have to admit, though Pune has my soul, Bangalore has certainly taken a piece of my heart. Bombay? Well it's Bombay. 5 days a week - absolute anonymity. While I like that, I think somewhere all of us like a little warmth (in the emotional sense) and let face it Bombay is not the place for it.

It's back to work on Tuesday (India bandh on Monday - rocks!).