La Verde - A bar away from a home bar!!

Finally, I've got my lazy self to write about what was probably the most interesting part of my stay in Manila. La Verde Bar (I can feel a lump in my throat already). The bar is in one corner or a mall called Festival mall and for most of the people reading this - the mall is probably about 20 times the size of Inorbit in Malad, 30 times the size of Nucleus in Pune and 10 times the size of Macy's in New York! Basically, it freaking huge!! So big that in all my times of visiting it, I would get lost. I never entered and left from the same gate in the mall.

The funny thing is, I very often came to the exit where the bars were. That's probably coz I just closed my eyes and let my Jedi powers lead me to the correct exit :). The Filipinos will always insist that this is not half as big as Mall of Asia - which is the biggest mall around. It's so big that they're considering giving a status of a city! Yes, that was a joke. I would generally go to the mall to exchange money (not coz I was getting drunk so often but coz they always had the best exchange rate and for an Indian man, that rocks!) and I would always control my expenses (again, Indian man) by exchanging only 100 dollars at a time. So, in a nutshell I went there about six times. It did helped that it was a 10 minute walk from the hotel.

I loved the place so much that it's just easy to get carried away and forget what I started talking about. La Verde (another lump in my throat).

Discovering La Verde was complete serendipity. I got back from the office one night (at about 1:15 am) absolutely famished and hoped like most places around my office I would get something to eat at the hotel. Around the office I could eat McDonalds and Jollibees (the Filipino equivalent of McDonalds) 24 hours a day. But, there's only so much bread with chicken/beef cutlets I can eat. The hotel staff told me they shut down at 12:30am (whaaaaat!) and I could go to a place around the corner called Yellow Cab - pizzas and pasta kind of place. Not what I wanted. So the cab guy that drove me to the hotel recommended "Festibaal". He told me there were some bars there where I could get some regular food till early in the morning. I was to find out that early in the morning meant 11:00am!! So off we were to "Festibaal". Until that point, I'd only seen one side of the mall and this dude actually drove me past two red lights to one corner of the mall. I could already hear the music from a distance.

Once I got off, I had a choice of about 10 places I could go to (1:40am) all buzzing with energy. All I wanted was for something to eat and head back. I walked around and picked the place with the cleanest bar seats knowing that I would picked on by the cross dressers if I sat on a regular table. "Sir Martin" had arrived! I sat at the bar and this guy immediately knew I was a foreigner.

"Hello sir, where are you from"
"Mumbai"
"Where is that, sir"
"In India, it's also called Bombay"
"Oh, I know Bombay sir. You drink whiskey there."
"No, actually I only drink Vodka and beer"
"But Indian people like.. Blimpers Bride"
"Blimpers Bride?? Hahahha.. No, Blenders Pride"
"Never mind. Drink San Miguel Lite, very good beer"
(Cross dresser walks on to the stage at 1:50 am)"Okay, give me a pint and your food menu"

The San Miguel Lite came on in 10 seconds and I ordered spicy chicken wings with french fries. The safest thing without bread. The guy at the bar then told me my order would take 20 minutes, which I was okay with, since the big gulp of the awesome San Miguel Lite made me realise a couple more of the lite wouldn't hurt. It was three San Miguels before the food actually came (2:20am) and I ate like a Somali kid..

Once done (about 2:45am, I think), I ordered another San Miguel and the cross dresser had already spotted me as the foreigner in the crowd. The next few minutes could have been hell but thanks to the beer on my empty stomach, I was a little high already. The next few minutes were like this,

"Hello Sir. Where are you from?"
"Bombay" (they don't recognise Mumbai - Yay!)
"Ohhhhh, Bombay, India. Would you like us to sing Jai ho for you?"
"Not really, I don't like that song too much"
"What is your name sir?"
"Martin"
"Martin??? Ohhh, welcome to La Verde, Sir Martin (I could hear bagpipes in my head with a king laying a sword on each of my shoulders, saying, "I pronounce thee, Sir Martin"). My name is Xena (like the warrior princess)"

This was the begining of "Sir Martin". I stayed there till about 4am, eating more French fries and getting picked on by Xena. He/She finished his/her lot and came up and spoke to me. That would be my first friend at La Verde. A 41 year old cross dressing man. I promised I would come back soon and left coz I needed to sleep. On the way out I met they bartender and all he said was, "See you on Friday sir, my name is Jek". I had to go back now.

This was only my first time in this place and it only gets better each time. I'm going to talk about all the friends I made there, including Xena. But I think I've written enough for now. More in the next post! It's going to be worth the wait! :)

P.S.

Xena: Sir Martin, do you like Filipinas?
Me: I have a girlfriend!
Xena: But do you think Filipinas are beautiful?
Me: Yes, but not like I want to do anything about it!
Xena: Sir Martin, Do you think my tits are nice?
Me: I need to go throw up!
Xena: You like them soooo much??
Me: You're disgusting!
Xena: Then you'll like me better in bed!

That was the first time they picked on me after calling me Sir Martin.

It's more fun in the Philippines..

Mabuhay Folks!!

The title is the tag line for the Philippine tourism and I have to say they're not too off. Coming from Bombay,  where a pint of beer costs you 200 rupees to being in Manila where in a good place you'd get it for 47 pesos (almost 47 rupees), you ought to have more fun! The Filipino people themselves are some of the sweetest people you can meet. They make you feel so important and I even got the title of "Sir Martin". It's just an awesome place to be in. But then at some point you do start to miss the food (being the Indian that I am) and home. Given the opportunity though, I would go back, several times!!

Now about my hotel room. First, it was not a room. It's an apartment, complete with a cooking range, a kitchen more functional than the one I have in Bombay, a dining room that reminds me of the days when my mom was still in the army and overall the place was bigger than my house in Bombay. It's another matter that houses in Bombay are the size of a matchbox. The staff down there were just brilliant, or maybe they were just Filipinos. I realised very soon when I walked into the place that I was going to miss it when I leave. And miss it I did! For reasons more than one. To start off, I could see a mall called the Festival Mall right from my room. No, I'm not a fan of malls, but this mall has an entire section in one corner which is full of "bars" as they call it in Philippines. More about the bars later, I also had a hotel cab drive me to and fro from work each day, which I can tell you reduced the stress I encountered in a day by almost half. The other outstanding this about the hotel was that I could smoke in my room - it's outstanding 'cause there are very few places in the world where you can still do that (going by my last travel to the UK).

The bars in the Philippines are mind blowing! Most of them have live music, actually come to think about it, I never saw one where the DJ played all the music. It's bands that come and play all the latest songs and I have to say they are amazingly talented. The other thing is that all these bars usually have cross dressers and/or gay men compering the entire show. I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying but from the crowds reaction I could tell they were hilarious. There was one bar in particular that I frequently visited called La Verde. More about it in my next blog (don't forget the strategy now). Most of the bars are open from 3:00pm (I almost wrote afternoon after pm :p) to 11:00am (you're reading it correct - 11am!!). Yes, that is 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's 15 hours and a day more than most places in Pune are open and just when we thought Bombay and Delhi have a night life, welcome to place where they have and after night life!! I told you - "It's more fun in the Philippines!!" And I already told you that a pint of beer costs 47 bucks here. In India it would not even be legal to get drunk with such little money!! I also made friends at La Verde which meant I could also order anything (even if it was not on the menu) and the chef would specially make it for me. I am "Sir Martin" after all, am I not?

And I know how bad some people reading this post want to know about the girls in Philippines. They are gorgeous!! Thankfully my girlfriend is too - so it was easy not to get carried away. That and the thought that some of them may actually be men! But yes, on the whole the women are beautiful and the straight men are smart. As a community, I think they really know their fashion and pull anything off easily. Much like the north eastern Indians. To be honest their cultures are very similar too.

My next post is going to be dedicated to La Verde Manila and it's awesome people. I spent many good times in my 3 weeks here and unfortunately I have very few pictures to show for it. But I do have someone that is writing a blog on their visit to Manila. I introduced him to the good place as well. So I'm just going to steal some pics off his blog. Till then...

The strategy is now in action!

So, I finally bought an entire carton of Benson & Hedges Special Filter from "Free Duty" to kill that bloody craving! I don't know why I didn't just buy Marlboro. I thought I'd smoked B&H before, but that first drag made me feel like something sucked out all the moisture from my throat. It was almost like I'd smoke a joint! Maybe it was just the cigarette after so long and the obvious dehydration from not drinking water for so long. It's a little weird for my to drink water from those funny taps where the flow of water is actually upwards. It's not the flow of water that bothers me though, it's the position I feel I'm in while trying to take a drink. Try it - you'll know what I mean! Well, I'm now stuck with those cigarettes and I think I'm getting used to them. I'm sure by the time I'm habituated it will be time to get back to Gold Flake Lights! Next time I'll just buy my carton in India instead of trying to be a cheap ass! Lesson learned Misters Benson and Hedges.

Eventually the airline staff did come back to me, the guy actually looked for me till he found me (making a big mistake) in the "Free Duty" area. He handed me my boarding pass and said, "You're visa is okay". I had no energy to fight with the man and conveniently assumed that the Chinese dude probably meant my BAGGAGE was okay. Why would he be worried about my Philippine visa anyway? Not like I was going to stay in his country! He then asked me to accompany him to his desk and I can swear he took the long way around with all the walkways moving in the opposite direction. He even walked like he was wearing roller stakes with me trying to keep up and almost lugging my handbag. Anyway, I reached his desk where he asked me to show him my passport and then gave me my boarding pass (after taking it back from me) and said, "Baggage don't claim"! If this was another country I would have tried to give him my kung-fu super kick!! I then explained to him that he had already wasted a lot of my time and now if I had to go through immigration and collect my baggage and then return, I was sure to miss my flight. To which he said, "Yes, baggage no claim. Go have cigarette and catch flight. Come I show you cigarette place". I'm not making up his sentences, I promise! Finally,  after "seeing" the cigarette place, regretting my decision and with peace in my heart I walked away as far as the airport would allow from mainland China!

I'm was almost 24 hours without sleep and hoped to catch some shut eye before I reached Manila and ran straight to office. On the flight I was seated next to this lady and her plump 5 year old son. (I just think "plump" fits the description of that boy so well). I had the aisle seat and she requested me to take the window seat instead, to which I politely agreed. What I did not think is that why would a lady with a plump 5 year old not want a window seat? As I sat down, I could see this boy trying desperately to look out of the window from the middle seat, so I asked him if he wanted to sit there. His mom didn't allow him to sit there and she said if she did, he wouldn't allow her to rest. Alright. The flight took off and the lady went to sleep like a baby, while the plump 5 year Filipino boy jumped all over me to look out of the window. I could have hit him if he didn't have such a scary looking mother. The little plump dude almost knocked my entire lunch on lap at one time!! I really wish I had like a dart gun with tranquilisers - I would use all my ammo on that boy. And then reload and do it all over again. Eventually, I did not get any sleep, stood in the immigration line for an hour, waited 30 minutes for my baggage (funny it's called that) and finally dragged myself to a cab to the hotel.

The hotel room was such a surprise!! But I'll keep that for my next post.

 P.S. I don't smoke up. I did once and I knew how it felt. Hence, the reference to the joint. Don't be getting ideas!!

Happy New Year and whatever..

My New Year resolution is to update my blog more often. Really.

It's not too much fun when you're writing a post at 8:30am at an Airport Terminal (Hong Kong) without any sleep since yesterday morning (and with a bad hangover), and have no cigarettes and don't want to buy any 'cause your travelling to a country (Philippines) where a packet of Marlboro costs $1 as opposed to having to buy an entire carton of them in what is probably the worlds most expensive "Free Duty". No, that's not a typo - that what the Chinese people call it, "Free Duty". Now whatever in the fuck that means. All this while waiting for one of the Airline staff to confirm if your check-in baggage can be transferred automatically, or if you will need to go through immigration, get a 14 day visa stamped, then collect your baggage, come right back through immigration and walk 1 1/2 kms to the boarding gate. I shit you not! The funny thing about this walk, is that they actually have walkways that move only in the opposite direction!! Who says the Chinese don't have a sense of humor? I think they're fucking laughing at me right now, hiding in those many many corners of the terminal.

But if a land of my fantasy were to exist, I'm quite sure it's somewhere in China.

P.S. The technique is going to be - have short posts and write often, even if you have loads of things to say today, hold it for 5 days later! Let's see how it works!!