Holidays.. Holidays.. and more!

Two long weekends now.. Ironically this week is for Muharram - a day of mourning and next week is for Christmas - a day for (apart from the binge drinking) celebration! And as with 99% of the world's working class population, all I care about are the long weekends!

In other news - I've been traveling. No, not like a globe trotter more like a have-no-choice traveler. Since I "travel" to Pune every weekend, people think it's in my blood to travel (some shit like that). So the week before last it was Bangalore and then last week was in Calcutta. "Kolkata" actually kind of sounds cute when the Bengalis say it. Use a slightly nasal tone and say "coal-kha-taa". So well, Bangalore was as pretty as ever and shit cold. Calcutta was as ugly as ever and the cold was even shittier but the people I must admit are nicer than most. Then I got back to Pune after all this and the Pune cold made Calcutta look like Miami! Bombay for some strange reason is also very cold. I'm sure by now you get the point that I'm very susceptible to cold temperatures but the winter has to be my favourite season (in India)!

I also plan to WFH on 31st Dec, but I have been told I need to wait till the 28th to get permission. The reason? "In case something urgent or unexpected comes up". Sometimes I really want people to say a statement to themselves, calculate the stupidity of it and then blurt it out. It'll help them from sounding like a donkey! But I shall in the mean time pray nothing urgent or unexpected comes up on the 28th for the 31st. If it does, then I'll just have to kiss all my relationships good bye. The chances are very bleak though (that something will come up) and I'm still trying to get over the statement.

There has also been a crazy surge in my work and I'm not ashamed to say that I still don't need more than 8 hours to do the job. But I have come to realise your "work load" or "no bandwidth" is directly proportional to the number of times you sit on you seat with your head in your hands or act as if you're deaf when some one talks to you while continuing to stare into your laptop like you've seen one for the first time. Better still, skip a few meals.

Looking at my previous posts I realised I haven't said much about my workplace. "Let me state very clearly" that this does not mean I enjoy this place. But I won't say otherwise either.

Also, there have been more additions to married couples in the last few weeks. Thankfully, I've never been the one to give into peer pressure. The only thing I do want to say is that I wish people would stop being so freakin' fake! If you're balls are in your mouth at the thought of getting married, just say so. Don't act like this is the happiest moment of your life cause it's not. It'll become the happiest moment of your life after 10 years yes - but right now if you admit you are a scared wimp, I would say you're just nervous. But telling me this is the happiest moment of your life while you chomp your fingernail way past it can be comfortable says more than you can tell me. All the best to all the married and to-be-married-soon people anyway.

Recently a good friend of mine, who I can claim I know better than most people do, gave me a whole load of shit on relationships or rather "fucking relationships". I tried very hard to explain to my friend that this was just one of those "I'm too awesome for a relationship" trips that people have. But then my friend was too awesome for a relationship. Whatever happened later is another story, all I can say is I smiled to myself when my friend returned to being normal. The moral of this paragraph after the previous one is to stop being fake. It's a lot easier.

I think I've said a lot for today. Plus I now need to hold my head in my hand for a little while. I'm done with typing away on the laptop and acting so deaf that some of my colleagues were actually talking bad about me while sitting beside me! The workload I tell you...

More later...

"...and world peace"

Here's what I wish for everyone in the world...

...happiness always
...that special someone
...a happy home
...a lot of love
...a job they love doing everyday
...having a great boss
...not worrying about tomorrow
...lots of sex (okay fine, love making)
...lots of money
...a happy song that plays in your head all the time
...an awesome partner
...a FINE car
...the most awesome friends
...health
...a big house
...lots of courage
...an amazing cell phone (the kind James Bond would have)
...loads of holidays
...and whatever they dream of

AND...

...to leave me THE HELL ALONE!

P.S. I've received some serious feedback on how negative my posts sound. I have happy things to say too. They're not half as fun to read!

28

I think there are two conditions in which I do not write. One, when I have nothing to say (obviously) and two, when I have so much to say and I don't know where to start.

Lately, it's been the second.

I think turning 28 is beginning to show.

'nother one bites the dust..

This has been an awfully all-my-friends-are-getting-married strange year. It's like a lot of my guy friends decided 2010 is the year that they finally want to give up on their fundamental rights (I'm led to believe this - read on). But, what is quite awesome is ALL of them had love marriages! Maybe they won't give up on their right to freedom of movement from home to office and back after all. :)

An old friend of mine got married last Saturday, another one takes a nose dive into marital "bliss" this weekend. Well I'm happy they're happy, but suddenly my mom is getting older with each passing wedding ceremony. "Son, I'm getting old, you know that. Nothing would make me happier than...". Also, my grandmom has been dying for the last 10 years (God bless her, cause I do love her a lot). Her last wish (for the last 10 years, since I turned 18) was to see me married. Gona got married in Feb this year and another friend Akshay got married sometime this year too (he didn't invite me, but that didn't stop him from getting married). Renin got married last Saturday and Rahul's getting married on the next. I found it quite awkward that Renin's best (married) man was making married jokes in his best man speech. Pretty much to the effect that Renin's life was fucked from now on. I would be shitting green if that is status quo (and I believe I have half a sense of humor).

Now here's my problem with married people. Most married people, who claim to have absolutely found their reason for existence in the Mundaneland will always turn around and tell me, "you'll know when you get married...". Like it's a freakin' curse of having loosies for the rest of your life and everybody knows you're cursed. They're a club and it's irritating when they discuss married things. It scares me to get married.

The other day, someone's wife was unwell. The person in question turned the world upside down. Yesterday Rami was unwell. When I spoke about it, people were not so concerned. "Martin, did you do that thing I was supposed to do (but I'm dumb as a fart so I can't)". It's like a saying I heard back in good ol' Dilli once. "Tumhare bacche - bacche, hamare bacch - aabadi"?. To put it simply, "Your children are children, and ours - population"? When I get married, I swear I will understand that just because you decide to name a relationship differently, I doesn't change the intensity of the relationship itself. I'm begining to dislike married people because of a handful of "I'm married so I'm better than you" people.

I must say that Gona and Sonali are the coolest married people I know. At least they're not like Siamese twins attached at the butt.

And, the next person that tells me, "you'll know when you get married...", I'm going to kick him in the nuts and ask him if he felt any different when he was unmarried.

P.S. Congrats Renin. Congrats Rahul. Hope you guys have a great married life! Just be the way you guys always are.

- No, they didn't marry each other as you would have figured.

Maybe I am OLD.

It's unbelievable how annoying I find 21 year olds. They're way too noisy, they try too hard and they have no clue of who Guns N Roses are. Also, they refer to everyone as "dude"! My generation would find that slightly impersonal. Imagine Vik, if I were to only refer to you as dude. And Rami, I wouldn't dare do that to you! Although, when I do want to let people know that I'm not accepting their "advances", I will constantly refer to them as "Dooooode".

I will use dude once in a while, but yes, more often than not (if I must) I prefer a derivative of a persons name.

If I was younger, I would spend less time discussing PS3 and more time working a basketball strategy on a real court.

P.S. The supreme court has passed a very interesting law on live in relationships. Women can now claim alimony even cause they were living in with a guy.

One more reason for one night stands. Not for me, for the "other" boys. Go Vik!!!

Et tu, Mom?

My mom has a facebook account. I was probably the last person to find out about this. While I suspect that devil Herbert having something to do with it, I will need to investigate this myself when I get home this weekend.

I'm now officially the only person in my family who does not have a facebook account. Actually no. My 86 year old grand mom doesn't have an account too. HA!!

P.S. Has google been playing up or is it just me? I was sent some weird verification code on my mobile phone and after years and years of using g-mail, I had to change my password and then today I found that I'm following my own blog! If that isn't conceited!!!
Also, FACEBOOK is NOT recognised by the dictionary! One more HA!!

Yes, I know how pathetic I sound.

Bum time!!

NOBODY(almost) is going to understand this post.

But yes, if I am bored, I'd rather have some "Bum Time". HE HE HE...

P.S. This is the 100th post!

"WFH" and the Big Verdict!

WFH is an acronym for "Working from home". That's my status on G-Talk today and honestly, I'm quite frustrated with people taking a dig at what "WFH" is. And everybody, just EVERYBODY thinks F stands for fuck! There are a million other words that start with F, but no, fuck takes the crown for the most popular F word! So anyway, since atleast 9 people will be educated after reading this post.. could you please put this on your facebook accounts and let's see if the concept of 6 degrees really works. I know some dumb-fuck will still ask me what "WFH" means the next time I put it up on my status. Blah!

Now the reason for WFH is that today is the big verdict for the Babri Masjid demolition. Read up about the mosque on wikipedia and I found a lot of interesting stuff on it. We'll leave that for another discussion. The verdict as you know is coming out almost 18 years after the demolition. A kid born around then could be legally married today.

The reason for this post is that, first, I wanted to make sure I "spell" WFH out and second, working from home is extremely boring. Specially when the TV has nothing interesting on it and you are that stage in your work where everything is moving smooth.

Oh wait, I found something interesting to watch on TV. The news. Commonwealth Shames in Delhi!

P.S. Microsoft office 2003 does not recognise the word 'blog'. But try spelling Microsoft in lower case.

I'm AWESOME! My suit's AWESOME!

"You know this suit I'm wearing, is stitched by the same guys that stitch suits for the Prime Minister of India".

"Really? That's awesome man. Except, who was the last Prime Minister of India to wear a suit?"

"Uhhhh.."

P.S. True story and no points for guessing where the person wearing the suit is from.

Wake up Pune! For the love of this city!

I have always spoken about Pune with the pride a child had for his father. I love being in this city! It never mattered where my mom found a house in the city, I loved the fact we were still here.

This is my home and I will NOT let it be corrupted by some sleazy cops! This isn't the first time that they've tried to act like the tormented. I'm from an Army family and since they got their faces kicked ever so often, they never acted funny with me. But honestly, are they even close to good? Pune police is like a dirty bag of shit as compared to their Bombay counterparts! Pune tries to act very honest and yet they are the scum of the Mahrashtra police! The sad thing is that bad and irresponsible journalism of Pune Mirror supports this. I will by the way give you an example of how bad Pune Mirror is from an article they're so (illiterately) proud of.

I heard today that they "apprehended" a bunch of north-eastern boys "who beat the shit out of some cops". Funny thing is they never said how 2 cops (with a "police team") apprehended 11 boys after getting beaten within an inch of their lives! Today, the boys turn up in court with bruised faces and legs (from someone who was present at the case. Obviously, Pune police had nothing to do with it. Read this.

As for Pune Mirror.. I think the Times of India should be ashamed of themselves for being associated with this excuse for journalism. I'm terribly disappointed in them. They even went ahead and set themselves to it.

This is a road I travel every weekend. The photographer and reporter obviously do not.

This how PATHETIC they are.

Pic 1

The photographer is facing towards the traffic, taking pictures of cattle that are being watched over by a human being, ensuring they DO NOT walk on to the expressway. I wonder where The Mirror vehicle is parked?

Pic 2

That's technically NOT the expressway (it's after the end if you're coming from Bombay). Notice the skid marks, the position of the photographer and the fallen tyre. I haven't seen a fallen tyre on that road ever. A little conspiracy I suspect.

Pic 3

The Mirror obviously stopped (on the expressway) to take this picture. A 5 year old child told me this.

Pic 4

A great comeback. How many of us missed this message just as we got onto the expressway to go to Bombay.

Pic 5

The caption says "Two-wheelers are prohibited on the E-way.But who really cares"

Technically incorrect again. Like The Mirror!! The expressway is common to the NH4 for some distance and that's where bikes are allowed!! Also, cops, contractors and workers (who cannot afford fancy company sponsored cars for some cheap purposes) are allowed to ride off (on the side of the road) the express way with requisite permission. But "The Mirror" is too fancy to investigate these facts. Poor people making a hard earned living.. what a shame.

Pic 6

I need to get mirror to take me to this spot. REALLY!

Pic 7

Setup, anyone? Mirror is too strategically placed

Pic 8

"Kuchcha" roads. And, did they stop again on the expressway? Tch.. tch.. tch..
BTW.. I do not expect vehicles coming on the road from "Mount Everest" on the other side. If vehicles leave.. it's only good!

Now only if we could stand up for those boys.

I don't normally do this.. but for all of you reading, we need to make a difference. Let's wake up now, please. Pune is my city. I love it beyond belief. I don't want to give up on her.

P.S. Feel free to pass this on.

I hate change

Period.

Like the background of this blog page, moving to a new house (I must have moved at least 25 houses in as many years!), getting a new job and "let's try something new".

Change is boring!

Monotony and predictability to me is fun! If I know the outcome of a particular action I am twice as likely to go ahead with it. I liked living my dull life in Pune. Doing the same thing every weekend, spending time with Rami and Vikram, that is my idea of a FUCKING GOOD weekend (Which is a superlative of AWESOME).

I want it back!

Something Vs. Science

I read my horoscope (Scorpio) for fun this afternoon on the Times of India. Here's what it says..

And then, I bumped my great toe onto the table later and ripped off the toe nail almost completely. I'm in immense pain yes (it's still bleeding 4 hours later), especially 'cause this happened 15 minutes before I was leaving for Bombay.

While I don't expect 1 of every 12 people in the world to hurt a toe or foot or leg; I am still amazed nevertheless!

Maybe there are somethings we can't explain after all.

P.S. The pic of Shahrukh Khan is just to signify that he's a Scorpio.

Hello.. Hellooo.. can you hear me?

While I'm not absolutely against technology, I still believe we've cut our lives way too short. I remember how my mum would wait in a line (when we were kids) to make a phone call to her mum in Simla. That too after 11pm when STD calling was 1/4th the price. Apparently, calling Bombay from Pune back then was more expensive than calling Mogadishu from North Pole today. But then again, I do not expect any people having to call Mogadishu from the North Pole 'cause while they may be the fastest and the strongest, I'm yet to hear of an African person attempt scaling a peak (No offence my braaathers, I know you can hip hop your way into a volcano also).

Now, I can call anybody anywhere within the privacy of my home and not have to look outside (of what looked like a yellow two by two prison) and wonder if someone was pissed off and wanted to take my place in the hell hole instead. And they only had two cumulative hours to do all the talking. (Life was one frustrated bitch). Then somebody decided to slash the STD rates in India and our beggar population (of former phone booth owners) grew manifold. That's when our mobile phones set in. I find it interesting that they're called mobile 'cause they're only "mobile" as long as you pay for it. My dream world has one network with no roaming (national or otherwise), and they only make Blackberry and IPhone (and some Chinese people will still find a way to fit 20 SIM cards into it).

My mom is the least educated person when it comes to a mobile phone. Her come back line has always been "I can cut open a human being, shake him/her up, and then stitch them back.. and they will still live". This is where I accept defeat. Neither can I "shake him/her" nor can I fix a glitch on the mobile phone. With all due respect, I am a slave of technology. I hate it just as much as the African slaves hated their white masters. But we'll all find our NBA and become bigger than them.

P.S. I heard you can now use your mobile phone to unlock you car. Imagine if they had this (and hacking) in 16th century chastity belt era! It would have been one good place.

Are you sure... ?

"Are you sure you want to quit this application"?

So, Bill Gates decided when he created windows, it was worth an ask if someone was very sure of something they wanted to do.

Sometimes I wish life was this way. I wish our creator (or evolution, in your case Vik) would have put this in our head every time we made a decision. May be Bill realised the shortcomings of a human being and said, "You know what, since I am going to be brilliant, let me add a little experience of 17 years to an application I will design". I have come to like that message every once in a while, 'cause I'm just not sure sometimes.

I wish for every decision we make (some so spontaneously), our system would put a message in front of us saying, "Are you sure...". But then again, do we not ask ourselves (sub-consciously atleast), "Am I doing the right thing". So maybe what should have happened is something like this - "Are you sure...", "Seriously, think about it again...", "You're Drunk/You're not listening to your instincts..", "One last chance.. think, think, think...", "I told you so...".

What if we are making the right choice all along? Would this help? Does a click of a button mean same as a decision in life (think about those emails you regretted).

I think with all the evolution that happens, this should be one of the pieces that evolution ought to pick up. Imagine a millennia from now, no one will make a bad decision 'cause "doing this could make you lose important data" or "your system may no longer function in the desired manner" or worst still "Don't say I didn't tell you so".

Let's hope evolution works the way ONE man said it does.

P.S. "Are you sure there is a God"?

Options - Yes, No & Go back, make the right choice (2nd level option).

On special request...

Honestly, I don't have much to say. The fact that I've promoted two sites on my blog in my last 2 posts should tell you that. But then, I've had a request...

I wrote this a while ago.. It was safely tucked away in the corner of my drafts folder which I hope nobody ever finds!

So, Let's turn a leaf (back) and be mean to colleagues and bosses and anyone you come across by virtue of what you do (very hard) for a living...

I'm extremely tired of massaging egos. I've never particularly been good at massage per se but I could maybe 'bend' now and then. Imagine this. You have a person working with you, he does not know his ass from his face and he asks you why you need something when you already said something to the effect of "I'm asthmatic and I need an inhaler". Which is actually my condition. So now I will quote a few discussions. I know I do this a lot, and it's only fun this way.

"Martin, what is the requirement for extra space on the production floor"
(Read the details you fucking retard, the business is growing)"Coz they're adding more people"
"What kind of people"
(The kind where men have 3 balls and women 3 breasts)"I'm sorry I don't understand"
"I mean what kind of people"
(Oh now I understand what you mean)"They need to have a degree in scum management"
"Okay, so why do they need this profile?"
(Really!!)"Actually we've realised there's a lot of scum that needs to be exterminated"
"Ex.. what?"
"Terminated"
"You mean like kill?"
(Dammit you know that word?) "No like termites infesting a place and then you call it terminated"
"Termites are those white ants no?"
"I'm impressed! Even I did not know the color. But I think you may be right"
"What do you mean may be?"
(since you're Einstein's illegitimate offspring)"I think I'm sure"
"Okay so why are there ants on the production floor"
"Mate, we've asked for pest control"
"So why have you sent this request to me and like I said in the first place what is this requirement for?"
"Oh.. I almost forgot about that.. we sent this requirement to you just for information and you are the greatest scum my friend"
"Hey, don't flatter me"
"Flatter? Seriously you know 'flatter'?"
"Yes.. don't make fun of me"
"Yes, of course not. I won't flatter you anymore. Now can you please read the requirements there?"
"The requirements said they're adding people and they need more seats"
"Yea.. that's what I told you in the beginning"
"But you said there were termites"
"I was just playing with you man"
"Playing what?"
"Termite termination"
"What?"
"It's a new game. You won't know about it"
"So are they adding new people or are they getting rid of termites?"
"Read the requirements document (fuck face)"
"Oh, they are adding new people"
"Yes.. how did you figure it out?"
"Arrey Boss, I'm very observant"
"What a coincidence.. so is my friend's dog's ass hole!"
"Who, is also like me"
"Nevermind, by when can you let me know how soon we can do this"
"Sorry man, you need to contact the administration team if you have termites."
"No.. I'm the one that's sorry.. very very sorry.."

Email Later

Hi Martin,

Is this requirement complete? Can I close from my end?

Regards,

Q


Reply - (C.C. to my personal email ID for future motivation when people feel dumb)

Hi Q,

Guess what. We realised there were no termites! We just had to setup additional seats and we did that. Thanks for your (stupidly) untiring support. (Hope you suck cock in hell).

Also, do you know that we bombed Planet Venus yesterday. They're not happy and we're expecting riots in Delhi. So just stay home!

Martin

P.S. As you already know, I've exaggerated. But there's a mail in the personal inbox which I promise to make public very soon. It may even be more than my exaggeration here.

Post Secret

Nice, very nice.

http://www.postsecret.com/

-Thanks Natasha!

Watch this and check the price!

http://aizawlartgallery.com/

Some of the most awesome paintings I've seen! They're so cheap that it doesn't do justice to the talent. Buy now, and let's raise the bar for these amazing artists!

AWESOME!

P.S. I've already decided to buy one.. or many!

The Decent Human Beings win one?

Courtesy Reuters.

Blog Guy, it looks like you’re gloating about something.

You bet I am. The Catalonia region of Spain has just passed a ban on bullfighting, a barbaric activity which I have mocked repeatedly in my blog. I like to think my readers helped tip the balance.

Congrats, Blog Guy. So what were the main factions in the debate over there?

It was the Decent Human Being faction against the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction.

Can you boil down the basic arguments of those two sides?

Sure. The Decent Human Beings felt that slowly torturing an animal to death while bloodthirsty imbeciles cheer in the stands has no place in the 21st century. As for the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction, their side is so ridiculous it’s not even worth repeating.

Wait, Blog Guy, you owe us a fair representation of both sides. We deserve that.

Oh, okay. Our story quoted bullfighter Serafin Marin as saying, “It’s not a cruel show. Completely the opposite. It’s a show that creates art…”

You’re making that up, right?

It sounds made-up, doesn’t it? I swear it’s true.

But Blog Guy, the great writer Ernest Hemingway wrote about bullfighting, and saw honor and courage in the tradition!

Hemingway was a decent writer, but a deficient human. If there was a dumbass thing to do, he would do it. You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad.

I read that bullfighting is a huge part of Spain’s economy, with tickets earning many millions of euros a year. That’s going to hurt!


Hey, maybe it’s time the Spanish discover movies and cable television, like the rest of us.

And what about all the money made from selling those elaborate matador outfits?

Those silly costumes haven’t been banned. The soon-to-be-former bullfighters in Catalonia can still wear them to the supermarket, to play miniature golf or whatever, if they don’t mind the laughter.

P.S. I just liked the article so much that I couldn't help posting it.
"You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad". That's the best. HA HA HA

Lost hope.

I lose hope every now and then and there are people that kick it right back in place for me. Let's just say, I'm not depressive, but yes I need some humans to make me believe ever so often.

I'm a load of bull with an attitude and a gun in my back pocket. And I won't die for someone, I'd kill for them.

Love,

Me

Fine.. I'm Sorry! Alright!!

My men friends obviously know the correct intonation of the title of this post.

So, Delhi is not a bad city. People there DO NOT show off (they genuinely own choppers and Mercs). So what if all of them have a swimming pool in their backyards? They worked hard to afford it and NO they did not con anyone to make that money (okay, maybe one or two people). And YES, Goa is in the neighbourhood when you own a chopper. You low-life Mumbai lovers will never get it. Even Delhi has a lot of energy.. maybe even more than Mumbai (how else do you think we keep talking about ourselves everyday, till we die). Sachin Tendulkar is Indian so you cannot take credit for him (Just like Arnold Schwarznegger is from Umreeka). So what if we love Rajma Chawal and Chhole, don't you love your Vada Pav? And Rajma Chawal tastes much better, especially when my mom makes it. But I also like the one this guy makes at 2am and this 12 star hotel in Delhi also makes great Rajma Chawal.. but well, the point is, so what if we love Rajma Chawal. BTW, I hate Vada Pav.

Lun-dun IS a great city. Half my family lives there. I know. So don't keep assuming shit and just because you have a blog - don't go degrading my city and its people. We Londoners are very proud of being from London (hmmmm...). Also, Gurgaon has the biggest mall in the Milky Way. Did you even know that? You Mumbai loving idiot! You people have NOTHING in Mumbai. Your city stinks! Do you have the metro? Our metro is the worlds fastest. But obviously a local train loving piece of shit wouldn't know the pleasures of being in an air-conditioned train. But we only take the metro when the chopper goes for servicing. So don't ever say shit about Delhi. Okay?

I would write more but now I need to test fly my new jet.

P.S. Incase you haven't noticed - it's been called "Mumbai" all through this post.

This is how I had to learn..

Then there are people like me in this world. Who believe they're extremely strong inside. We can conquer any situation, come out of a problem unscathed and land on our feet each time we fall. We have a solution to every problem that we or anyone can face. We've understood existence and secrets of survival - and we will always be okay. Mind you, just okay.

I've often felt this way and when faced with a problem I just withdraw from the world and want to be left all alone. If I can sleep over it, I will get over it. And this is how it's been all these years.

I've stayed away from people only 'cause I was pulling my self together to be the unbreakable person again. I love it each time that I feel that way. But today something happened.. and I never thought I'd feel that again. I felt a fraction of the hurt I've felt when people left or my heart was broken. I'm still amazed. Here it goes.. I know you'll probably laugh at me.

About 4 years ago, I finally bought my very first possession. A bike. It was (and probably still is) the most beautiful bike that was ever made in India. A lot of people agree to that. I felt like a real stud on the bike. It got me so much attention. But somehow I don't think I rode too well 'cause I fell off it way too many times. Maybe the bike was too powerful for me after all. That's when Herbert inherited it. And last week he sold the bike (obviously with my permission). I did not care.

I went this morning to have the sale papers signed and there it was. The most beautiful of the bikes standing among hundreds. It was the best bike I've ever seen. Strange thing is, all this time when it was still there, I would not even notice if it was in the parking or not. I tried to avoid it and just sign the papers and get out. But I just kept looking at it. Finally, I asked the guy if I could sit on it. He smiled and said, "You know, it's still yours". I just turned around.. walked out of the lot and signed the papers without even looking back once.

On the way back home, I felt that heaviness in my heart. The heaviness that makes us human. The feeling that tells us we're in love when something isn't right. So it was only a fraction of the heaviness yes, but it was for a bike!

It's one of those days where I don't feel so smart.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom!

Bombay Vs. Delhi (The questionnaire)

Bombay versus Delhi (city names in chronological order since I love both of them equally as you’re about to find out)

Here’s a set of questions I’ve designed to put this argument to an end and since I’ve stayed in both cities (at least close) I’ve put the potential answers in as well. Yes with hyperbole! Just to add to the humor!

This was originally designed as a table but I couldn’t put it on the blog. So now I have to re-invent.

Legend:
M – Me (asking the questions obviously) and in parenthesis are my feeling towards some of the answers.. or “feelings” in general.
B – The Bombayite
D – The Delhite

Let’s begin.

M: What do you love most about your city?
B: The energy Bombay has.. (yeah, and I wish they'd stay home so I can get to work on time!)
D: Bandiyan!! (Whatever!)

M: What do you hate most about your city?
B: Kya??
D: I know the Prime Minister of India. He's my maternal uncle. ( I thought your mom was from Bihar? And WTF!)

M: What would you say about the people in your city?
B: People? What people?
D: Aarey, kya sahi bandiyan hain!

M: Do you like the roads of your city?
B: Listen man, I really don't have the time for this.
D: Roads? I don’t know. I only use my chopper to get to places. (okay…)

M: What do you think of the traffic in your city?
B: What did I just tell you?
D: Sometimes when I use my Murr-sur-dees… (never mind)

M: Do you like Bombay?
B: Yes man.. obviously! Are you stupid?
D: Dilli ki bandiyan!! Yaar…

M: Do you like Delhi?
B: Who?
D: Dilli ki bandiyan!!

M: How's the night life in your city?
B: All time is life. Day, night, afternoon, monsoon..
D: There is this place I know, where we can get Rajma Chawal even at 2 am!! He also makes chhole and Aloo ke paranthe and.. (dude stop!)

M: Does the city allows you to have a peaceful life?
B: Dude.. You really don't get it do you?
D: Jab mere papa ghar se nikalte hain to poora mohalla unko namaste karta hai aur Prime Minister mere papa ke dost hain aur meri mummy ki dost minister (okay, okay, okay.. So you do have a peaceful life)

M: I think your city sucks ass!
B: Tuja aayee cha…
D: Paanchod!

M: Who is the most famous person from your city?
B: Sachin!!!
D: Mere papa aur.. (fuck it)

M: If you had to live in another city anywhere in the world, which would it be?
B: Bombay, Bombay, Bombay…
D: Um-ree-ka (but that's not a city) or Lun-dun

M: What's the one thing you love most about your city?
B: Ay, tere ko kam samajta hai kya? Bola na abhi time nahi hai!
D: Bandiyan, mere papa, meri mummy, rajma chawal, prime minister uncle, my helicopter, mur-sur-dees, Lundun, Umreeka…

M: What's the one thing you hate most about your city?
B: You in it! Fuck off!
D: Middle class and poor people!

M: How the weather in your city?
B: (kick in the nuts)..
D: I use AC all the time. I have AC in my car.. In my chopper.. In my house.. In my swimming pool.. In my neighbours swimming pool.. Mere papa.. Meri mummy.. rajma chawal.. aloo ke paranthe..

M: What are the good places to visit near your city?
B: (aaaarrrghhhhh)..
D: Gurgaon and my neighbours swimming pool.. And the chief minister aunty's house.. And Priyas.. And.. Umm.. Goa (what!)

M: What would you say is the one greatest thing about your city?
B: Saale.. have you not had enough already?
D: Hmmm.. Mere papa, Meri Mummy, Lun-Dun, Umreeka, Chhole, Rajma chawal, Helicopter, Sukhoi, Mig-29, Concorde, Ferrari, Suzuki Hayabusa, Holy-wud, Sha-ruk Kan, Metro, UFOs.. (kick in the nuts.. I said one thing!)

As I mentioned.. these are answers I expect. Please feel free to add to the list of questions and probable answers. We’ll settle this debate once and for all ;)

P.S. I love Delhi! Let the games begin!

Please take this as a joke all you people in Bombay and Delhi. I don't want no papas and bhais hunting me down tomorrow.

Profile Picture!

Now, stop making such a noise about me finally having put a picture on my G-Talk profile. Let's just say I had to do it. Stop being such easily pleased people for the love of God! "Oooooh, Martin Meganath finally has a profile pic", "Martin, whose photo is that", ("your fathers" - I want to say), "Look who put up a profile pictuuuure", "Oh my God! What's wrong with you? You put a picture?". All these comments to me are just people with very low satisfaction levels and no sense of humor at all. (Is there such a thing as a negative sense of humor). Oh, and also, "HE HE HE.." is in the same category as the others.

BTW, while I was going through the my contacts on G-Talk, I realised NONE of them have even remotely flattering pictures. NONE! Not a single person. NOBODY! Tch.. Tch.. Okay if any of my bosses in office are reading this - you're not included in the list and why do we have to use G-Talk? I mean are we going to start using FB (the jargon of "the generation") next?

Also, since I'm the author of this blog, I can delete any comment you post here. It'll be like it never existed. I thought it would be good to know information. :)

P.S. You all know how much I like you guys! martin.meganath@gmail.com in case you want to add me on G-Talk. But you guys already know that since you read my blogs. (I have such a smirk on my face).

I looked at all the pictures again. Maybe 2 or 3 people do have nice pictures. Hmmm..

Facebook invitations (or whatever you call them)

Dear All,

If you do intend to do something major and want witnesses to the episode, be nicer than sending Facebook invites. I understand it's cheap, but that's what it makes you look too.

Have a heart to do some traditional things. Ask a photographer what those prints mean to him. Ask you parents if they still have letters and cards from those years. And yes, please send people invitations (preferably paper or any other material which can be printed upon and mailed or hand delivered) if you expect them to be a part of what may be only important to you. They'll be there just so they can share the moment with you. If you did not have that moment, they'd be no different. Remember?

And yes, since I've NEVER been on Facebook and expect people on Facebook to know who they have on their "friends" list, you could not have expected me there. Could you?

Love,

Martin

P.S. An anonymous comment written today on one of my earlier blogs (much early this year) triggered this off. The audacity amazed me for a moment and I decided to return the favor. But I mean no harm.

No hard feelings. :)

I lurrrve...

(The original has been taken off)

Read it again this morning and thought "lots of things missing". Will write a more comprehensive list the next time.

Sorry for the ones that didn't read it. You didn't miss anything, don't worry.

Old songs.. same feelings..

Foreigner - I want to know what love is.

Read the lines.. please..


I've gotta take a little time,
A little time to think things over,
I better read between the lines,
In case I need it when I'm older.

Now this mountain I must climb,
Feels like the world upon my shoulders,
Through the clouds I see love shine,
It keeps me warm as life grows colder,
In my life, there´s been heart-ache and pain,
I don´t know, if I can face it again,
Can´t stop now,
I´ve travelled so far,
To change this lonely life,

(Chorus)
I wanna know what love is,
I want you to show me,
I wanna feel what love is,
I know you can show me,

I´m gonna take a little time,
A little time to look around me,
I´ve got nowhere left to hide,
It looks like love has finally found me,
In my life, there´s been heartache and pain,
I don´t know, if I can face it again,
Can´t stop now,
I´ve travelled so far, to change this lonely life,

(Chorus)

P.S. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's honking, making a chugging sound and coming closer very fast.

(Posted half asleep)

Lonely? No, Alone.

There's a difference you know. You can be lonely with all the people in the world around you. And yet you're not alone.

And you can be alone at home on a Sunday afternoon writing a post about loneliness and yet not feel lonely.

Our greatest gift is our imagination. Without a bloody doubt. Thank you God!

The day Diego went away..

That's about Forlan BTW! I'm in complete awe of that guy!

Mom

She's been the greatest inspiration in my life.. She's been the perfect woman. The reason I find most 'independent women' not independent, is Her. She redefined independent even for a man.

I owe her so much that if she asked me to jump off a 100 floor building, I'd do it with a smile (a big one, that). Girls in my life have said I'm a mamas boy, yeah, only, mama's got a license for a gun!

I told her something yesterday that I thought she would completely freak out about. But I needed her approval. She, the lady that she is, did not even wince when she said "good beta". I haven't told anyone about this particular 'thing' yet. But I will. It's probably way too close to my heart to talk about and I'm still in the process of being sure. Not in a bad way. In a good way where you feel, can this really happen to me?

She's the strongest human being I know. She's seen the worst of things and she's got the warmest smile. A teacher in my school once asked me, "are you Jannet's son"? "You have her smile". I couldn't stop smiling that entire day. I was like a retard walking around with a smile plastered on my face.

Every Christmas when it's freezing outside I come out of church in the middle of the night and hold my mothers hand. It's always warm. She doesn't even know it happens every year.

I'm extremely impressed with her. For a guy that's never impressed with anyone or anything, this should tell you why.

I love my mum, very very very much (Herbert beats her by the skin of a teeth though). I miss having her around. I'm lucky she had me.

P.S. (A very unnecessary post script)

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin: I think a man. And then I take away reason and accountability.

(As good as it gets)

Horses and G-Talk

HORSES!

Ghodey in Hindi. That's what Herbert says when something screws him completely. My mum doesn't like the the way he says "Ghodey lag gaye merey" so he now says "horses"! E.g. "Herb.. how was your day at work today"? "Horses". I told this story to a colleague - and this morning when he was shit busy he 'pings' (an IM sent on G-Talk) me saying I can only think of one word.. Horses! I will not go into the details of the origin of the word in Hindi or in Herbie's vocab. Let's just say it's a combination of 2 dirty Hindi words.. G-Hodey! If you are as corrupted as I believe most of you are you'll get it. Please try not to let me down. (Rashmi - I will tell only you about it separately).

Also, G-Talk isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Facebook may not be very far away. Many people are going to win a lot of money if I do join Facebook. Congrats to you guys.. and please share the spoils!

So, I'm always online and I met a friend - Ravi the other day. Ravi's parents and my mom know each other for 40 years now. He and I are born on the exact same day - 10th November 1982. We went to school together from class 7 to class 12. Infact we even scored the same marks in 10th! 'Something' went majorly wrong in between. Now he's in the US and I chatted with him the other day. Strangely, he still sounds like me with his thoughts!

And, I'm single again! Do not call to ask what happened. If you know me well, you know I need to deal with it alone.

P.S. "What do you call a man who has a huge thing"?
"Dick"?

Chao?? Bombay - Day 1 again.

What THE FUCK is "Chao"? I try very very very hard not to be condescending - but no.. people just won't let it be!

Back in Bombay. The rain gods have been more than generous this morning. I don't even know why I bothered to carry an umbrella (yes, I carried an umbrella). I was still drenched! The rickshaw fares have gone up. The office looks different. So much has changed in one month. I don't like.

Last Sunday, when I was in Bangalore, England lost to Germany (congrats Shweta, but I think it's still debatable). I was extremely upset - so much that I fell ill the next day. Fever and a bad throat. So I took a crocin and an antibiotic. The antibiotic gave me an upset stomach, so I took another medicine (Tinidazole) for that. I had an allergy to Tinidazole and had a blister on my lip. I want it to heal quickly, so I took an antibiotic again and got a bad stomach again. Moral of the story - Don't support that SHITE of a team England any more.

P.S. "You know why you and I are never on the same page? 'Cause we don't have a common problem".

WOW!!

Home??

I'm back in Pune after almost 2 months. Yes.. this is the city I love. It holds my soul no matter where I go. But is it home? I don't know. Technically Bombay should be home.

I got into Pune at 3:30am on Saturday and a more befitting welcome could have not been given. I drank with my elder brother at the place called Mini Punjab. They BTW have the timings on their menu as "Aapke aane se aapke jaane tak" (how nice!).

I have to admit, though Pune has my soul, Bangalore has certainly taken a piece of my heart. Bombay? Well it's Bombay. 5 days a week - absolute anonymity. While I like that, I think somewhere all of us like a little warmth (in the emotional sense) and let face it Bombay is not the place for it.

It's back to work on Tuesday (India bandh on Monday - rocks!).

Problems and I'm going home..

I recently heard someone talk about a certain problem they were facing. Since this individual in discussion is quite senior (age, experience, what seems to be wisdom, etc.) I thought it best to shut my trap and continue to listen to what could be the grandmother of a useless solution finding attempt (imagine.. it's useless and still only an attempt). I listened till I could feel that if my ears had tear glands, they'd probably exhaust a lifetimes supply of tears! So I decided to walk away..

"..why don't you try "this" (to protect identity) instead"

I got a pat on my back and a whole load of "awesome dude"! Well.. honestly for all you people reading, if I ever gave you the situation, I'm sure 11 out 10 times you would have thought the same thing. Why, why, why (for the love of Jesus) can people not see the real PROBLEM? Don't tell me about symptoms and causes - it's sometimes a load of monkey poo! Look at what matters to you - and you'll always have the answer. In project management we call it "Critical Success Factor", and for the record there can be only one.

Simple logic - The problem is an itch, the solution is, scratch!

I'm leaving Bangalore on Friday (unless someone really high up in the corporate ladder doesn't have the solution to an itch). I'm happy, but at the same time I feel I'm going to miss the place (especially since I don't ride a bike in Pune, and if I do, Rami is on the back seat). Please take that in the humor it was intended. But honestly, I will miss Bangalore. It's Bombay on Monday and I'm apprehensive all over again about the crazy paced life. It's strange how Bombay never lets you take it for granted and cities like Bangalore and Pune - you know you'll be fine.

So long Bangalore, Pune here I come! Bombay can wait till Monday to kick my butt into my face!

P.S. I think I've developed an allergy to cell phones. Really. My ears get red and as big as the Incredible Hulks (Thank God they don't get green). So, if I don't call anyone of you this time when I'm in Pune - you know why. I have a feeling this allergy will be gone after about 3 weeks. Cheers.. breathe you soon, oh air of Pune!

And finally facebook won!

Goutham (strange it's so close to Gotham) is very enamored with my blog. So he's my colleague.. and he's decided that "smoking kills" is worth many reads, and he's posted the link on his facebook profile (is that what you people call it?). The blog was meant to be mine, but honestly if people don't read what you write, then why write?

P.S. England lost. I'm super depressed. I had to come back and listen to Eric Cartman. I don't feel any better!
And mom had to call me to know if I was handling it well. Well done Richard!

Kumar and the Guesthouse...

I've been living in the guesthouse for more than a month now. They're probably going to put up my picture on the door of this room now.

The guy that takes care of this guesthouse is called Kumar. He's the only company I have on most days (don't get this wrong). It's strange how every once in a while we meet people that in some way will have a lasting impression on us. Kumar is like a mother to me right now. He's worried if I don't eat. He's awake when I come back late. I feel more at home here than I do in Bombay (which technically is home).

Kumar knows Krishnamachari Shrikkanth, Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri personally (irrelavant information, but impressive). He cooks the most amazing food in the world (yes, he even beats the mother). I will miss him when I'm gone.

He surely deserves some space on my blog. If you notice, there are only few that get this luxury.

Also, he has this perennial smile stuck on his face.

What an idiot!

And some mornings I just wake up with this feeling...

I miss Pune. Very much.

P.S.

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Eric Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.

Be a man!

Last Saturday I went out with a few colleagues to this club called Athena in Bangalore (I refuse absolutely to call it 'Bangaluru'). It was a good time. A certain colleague had a bike which he was too lazy to drive (and strangely, so he walks) and I rode the bike to this next stop we were going to make. I'm going to cut this long story short.

I rode past this place where I saw this VERY HOT woman standing on the road side with another guy. I didn't think much about it. I had to stop ahead so the (poorer) people on foot could catch up with me. Just then that VERY HOT woman came up behind me, sat on the bike and said "Let's go"! I was stunned (and have to admit, even a little scared) at first. She wanted to be "dropped" down the road. Well, so I rode her down to about 50 meters and she got off and started making conversation. She had terrible hiccups and I told her she needed to go get some water. The only other thing I remember of that conversation is that she said she's from a small town on the border of Bihar and Nepal and then she gave me her name (which I obviously forgot). I left her there saying I needed to catch up with my friends coz I don't know my way around. The end.

My "men" friends are obviously not very impressed with me. Yes I agree she was a stunner but hey, I'm good too! People here tell me that this happens in Bangalore. Yeah, maybe you should call this city BANG-A-LOT!

Well, I think it takes more of man to say "no", knowing you have someone. This is my opinion and yes I'm ready for a debate FUCKERS!

P.S. The women that know about this incident have all had the very same opinion about this girl which is quite the opposite of what the men think. Can one hormone really make so much difference?

The bitterness and hate

Sometimes you carry so much of bitterness and hate inside that you don't end up realising how much you can hurt people (or a person) with it. While you don't accept the hate it builds up this huge ego inside you that makes you consciously attempt to be indifferent to people and things that probably still mean the world to you.

You end up burning so many bridges that when you want to cross back you know it can never happen again. You live on... with the thought of never being able to apologise or go back and see what went wrong. You will always wonder why someone wanted to reach out to you, when they tried. You end up living with the thought that you may never even get a chance to hold someone and tell them you were sorry. Maybe it won't matter so much that you can't live on as seemingly normal. Somehow you were miserable before and will remain miserable after.

Then you come to a day when you realise not all is lost. Not because you tried, because people still reached out to you. You've been given one more chance. You know you were sorry. Take that opportunity to say it. Fix it. When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

I'm sorry. I mean it.

P.S. Don't ask. I won't tell.

Or maybe not just yet..

So, I decided against it.. That should tell you how many decisions I make and stick to!

I didn't have anything to really inspire me and it was beginning to get boring to write and just then, Rituraj (my house mate in Bombay) called to tell me he'd become a father! I know how happy it made me to know that - don't ask why!

So, I sit back and think. In Bombay, I realised Rituraj is mostly all I have. When I need sound advice, help in any way or even something as simple as 'transporting' the girlfriend from Pune to Bombay airport, he's the only person I can look to.

Now I really can't wait to get back from Bangalore (to meet his little son, if nothing else). I've been away from Pune longer than this before but I've never missed it as much. Bangalore is great. But now I understand what they mean by "Home is where the heart is".

P.S. Next time I say I'm going to stop writing, check the time of the post. If it has been written at some ungodly hour - you know what may have transpired.

And please be nice and say "Welcome back Martin".

Over

I don't feel like writing anymore. I feel I'm not even being honest on my own blog. So this is it. No more. I'm signing off. And remember I'm only a phone call away. I love all of you.

Someday, I'll be back.

Ta!

Awesome.. No?

It's an awesome feeling when...

...You know people need you more than you need them but they will still pretend they're doing you a favour! You can see that look on their faces when you say you're not going to be there any more. That's when they wince and act like little puppies who've been devoid of any affection. They beg you to stay, you feel sad for them but you know you've got to go. Only, only if they'd not tried to be so cool!

...When someone who seems absolutely fancy to a whole bunch of mediocre people is insecure by your presence. They have this crazy need of TRYING to put you down. You know they're insecure coz anything you've done - they did it 700 years ago and 2000 times better. The moment you say something, they'll say "in my opinion..", except that you said 2+2 is 4!

...When people are not even convinced of what they believe in and yet they try to preach to you as if it were the gospel. It's just fun to sit back (preferably with a cold beer) and watch them rant on. Sooner or later they WILL contradict themselves and that's when you say, "But, I thought you said..." then sit back again and watch them trying to tell you why they were right both times even though what the said was different as day and night (get lots more of the cold ones!)

AWESOME!! Observe and see how good this feels!

HA!

3 Months, 3 Cities & 3 Jobs

March – Pune, EXL
April – Bombay, Maersk
May – Bangalore, Firstsource

I feel like a psychopath job hopper!

But I’ll be back in Bombay in July (hopefully). Living out of a suitcase sucks big time!

P.S. I'm also having to use G-Talk as an official communicator. Looks like facebook may not be far off. Seems Social networking/chatting will have the last laugh (sigh!).

The Lord Giveth..

She got into the bus - this gorgeous creation of God. As she walked down the aisle trying to find her seat I hoped she would be somewhere close to me.

Then she walked straight up to me (I was sitting to her right - which is an important detail at this stage) and said "You're on my seat". NOOOO!! I hurriedly pulled out my ticket and was sure that I was on the right seat (and did not want to argue with her either). My courageous side took over and I told her "No, this one is mine".

She turned her head and looked straight down the aisle and pointing to the guy sitting to my left, she said, "I'm talking to him"

She was cock-eyed!! Damn!

Our parallel lives

I started writing this post yesterday. Then I stopped, knowing how meaningless it is now. Today, I found it in my drafts and thought what the hell...

(Slightly edited version from the original)

I know this person who has always had this strangely parallel life to my own. When I achieved something, so did she. When she came up with a surprise, mine was already a day older. I got my first meaningful promotion and she got hers 15 days later.

No, it's not worth a discussion or a post.

Strangely, we're both from Pune, and right now in two different cities and will move to two absolutely different cities in less than 2 weeks (for a somewhat similar job).

I like not to think about things that are termed coincedental, but this has happened far too many times now.

P.S. I'm taking bets for tomorrow. Liverpool Vs. Chelsea. Liverpool wins 1-0. I must be really brave to believe in this and even so to fucking post it.
GO REDS!

Blog Flog or Blogging Flogging.

Recently I've been inclined to think about a term for when a blog is used to kick someone's ass! Just then "Blog Flog" and "Blogging Flogging" occured to me. So next time you know what to call it.

This, by the way has nothing to do with anything otherwise. It's just me thinking.

So, remember this post. You heard it here first. I'm sure at some point in time this will be a global term and then you will be witnesses when I sue someone to say it was my invention. Thank you already!

P.S. Right now Mumbai Indians seems to be winning the semi-final. Also, Manchester United is only a point behind Chelsea. It might be my most successful "fan" season.

Here's the Sun!

Since I moved to Bombay, I've never returned home while the sun was still up (simply, it's always dark by the time I reach). The travel time is usually close to and hour and a half. Today, for the first time, I'm back while the sun is still up (got home in 40 minutes).

Just as was begining to feel that this could be achieveable everyday, I'm told today is Ambedkar Jayanti and hence the travel time reduced by 50%. So there goes the hope!

I have to sit and figure an excuse to miss office on Friday - I have an interview in Bangalore. Well, loosies have a strange way of showing up on Mondays and Fridays. For anyone who has ever managed people - this is a well known fact. So I'm going to have to improvise. Maybe even kill a relative (atleast give them a heart attack).

It's been some crazy days in Bombay and now a friend from Pune (Rituraj) has also moved to Bombay. I already have a hangover thinking about the days ahead. Fun times coming up. Expect a lot of drunken blog entries. And I'm already sorry.

Some people wonder how I'm already moving my job in less than a month. I changed one job in 6 years, and let me tell you, while it helps you to be classified as stable (or incapable to finding another job), it doesn't help your bank balance too much. The goal is try and hit a 7 figure salary by 2011. Till then, try try try until you succeed, is the motto. So, with this new job I may even have to succeed in Bangalore.

No complaints.

Cheers for the future!!

P.S. It's 7 figure per annum. I'm not that fancy also.

Drunk Dailing!

This shit has to stop!

The rest is good.

The city, the life and the people.

Last 2 weeks have been brilliant in Bombay. The city has enamored me just like the other people that swear by it. I'm told that it's too little time for me to make this judgement. Bombay is yet to test me and bring me to my knees and make me cry. The funny thing is that the people who have felt this, have usually felt it for reasons that I live each day. The traveling at peak hours with crazy traffic, the humidity and the pace of life. It makes you all feel so worthless - they say. I've been feeling worthless yes, but I'm enjoying it at the moment. Maybe, just maybe, I will break.

There is the stark difference between Delhi and Bombay that people often point out. In Delhi they say, "Bombay stinks" and in Bombay they don't talk about Delhi. I'm not berating Delhi here, it's just natural for me to make this comparison, since I was regarded as a "small town" guy while living in Delhi. Bombay couldn't give a shit if I was from Mercury! The people here hardly have a life - but then they have the vibrancy and attitude to make up for it. For the few moments that they live, they rock!

I've had two strange experiences in the last two days. I will not describe them here but the learning has been that in Bombay if you can't stand up for yourself even for a single moment - you will become lunch! People are helpful but you have to deserve their help. It's awesome, cause the moment you act weak, they'll ignore you like a rock on the street.

The work is still not as impressive. The people even far from it. But the good news is that I may even get another job. I get my role back, hopefully travel a lot and even make more money.

The indifference is addictive!

P.S. In Bombay everything can be home-delivered (use your imagination).

I love the stink!!

Bombay - Day 1

My first day of work in Bombay would be incomplete without a blog entry. Since I know so many of you are interested in knowing how it went, one more reason to write!

Day 1 in Bombay I have to say was quite fun. Just Bombay, not the office. I've never traveled so much to reach my work place and I think after a week here, I probably never will again(I'm going to find a place closer to work).

The office, frankly was okay. I'm not very impressed, but I shall try not to be quick to judge (it's so difficult, God help me!). The details (with expletives) will be given in a subsequent post (as you are already aware) if things remain as they seemed today.

P.S. The weather in Bombay is not half as bad as I was told it would be. I traveled at 4:00 in the afternoon, so I know.

The temptation and the boredom

I've been so bored these last couple of days that I don't think I can even come up with a simile for it. But here's how bad it is - my mother told me that I should get out of the house for a while. That, is a very bad sign. I can't wait to start work!

The other thing is that I was controlling the temptation to write another post since I don't really have anything meaningful to say (as you may have already figured). But then I realised, this is MY BLOG and I will write whatever, whenever!

I haven't gone to Bombay to look for a house yet. Being bored always gets me kind of lethargic. I need to figure out a place soon. But as always, I have a plan B. So, as always I'm not in a mad rush.

The rest is good!

P.S. Manchester United is back on top in the premiership. I've been saying this to my Chelsea supporting (idiot) brother-in-law for the last 5 months that we would be. That's been the high point of the last 6 days. That and Mumbai Indians.

Also..

.. the maximum I've ever written on my blog in a single month ever since I started a year ago..

This is my 9th post in March 2010 and there have been many inspirations! Obviously my new job winning by a yard but it does not mean it was the most important. No?

Last night was at Vikram's office. I'm so proud of him that I can't even say it to his face. My belief in him is advocated by many but I must tell everyone this. He'll stand by me no matter what. I know this for a fact. Even if I'm I'm an ass.. he'll be there. He won't necessarily agree with me, but he won't leave me alone. And that's why sometimes the work he does (which I have no clue about), I can sit back and pass judgement on. He won't change, but he'll think about it. If he did change, he won't be him!

If Vik, they try to change your thoughts - they are stupid! If they agree with you - they're still stupid! If they work with you.. I'll may be respect them! Be as you are, cause you've inspired this one year of writing!

Here's our answer from that dining table talk!

Irrititation..

Honestly, sometimes you can know people that do not have a single irritating thing about them. You do not have to love them (and you can also).

Is it really so important to find something you dislike about a person you like? Or, is it mandatory to build a thought about how eventually you'd dislike someone? I do not know yet if in the long run I'll change this opinion of mine, but right now I'm pretty sure there are some people that are just fine.

Yes.

P.S. Please don't judge me!!!!

NICE!

I almost forgot about this one and it's certainly worth some space on the blog!!

The other day I was at the hospital for a medical check-up waiting to get a blood test done! The doctor was this old (probably Parsi) lady (The hospital was Ruby Hall - almost everyone is Parsi there) who asked me to keep my file on the table to the side. I ran up a quick conversation with her after which she said, "Since Martin you have such a charming face, I will put you through next".

Cool shit!! Who the man?? Reminds me of the other incident. I guess compliments are something you can never get used to. It always feels good!

Also, today is the first day in the last 6 years where I do not have a job! I don't start in Bombay till Monday next. It feels good to be a waste!

Pune has got it's own IPL team. I'm sure there isn't one person that reads my blog that gives a shit about it!

That's all for now. More wasted ramblings will follow soon..

It's wrong.. Sooo wrong!!

What if you've wanted to do something for really long but didn't have the balls to pull it off when you could? What if you do finally get a chance at doing it and the timing is just so damn wrong (not according to you necessarily)? What if it meant that somehow your life may never be the same again? What if it is so wrong but that you've wanted it and it's so special to you that you believe it is right?

Does this make you a bad person? What would you do if the opportunity presented itself at a rather awkward time? But you know that you may never have the opportuinity again so you grab it with both hands. Should you forget and move on? Should you act like it never happened? Should you stand up to it and face the consequences of your actions like a man? Sad thing is - it's not your choice!

P.S. First, I've asked a lot of questions here. Answers are most welcome!
Second, I'm not explaining this post. So don't ask!

3 days!

That's what is left of my work in Pune. Strange thing is I'm not so excited. I know at least one person who would always complain about how I was never excited about things. The truth is, I usually am - I just don't express it like others do. But in this case I'm sure there is no excitement, only a whole load of apprehension.

Also, this whole thing of not getting paid is leaving me feeling very insecure. Borrowing has never been my thing and now with the rent, deposit, moving charges (the society apparently charges you to move in), buying stuff, it's all freaking me out at some very minuscule level. It is freaking me out nevertheless. What helps is that the apartment is like a 10 minute walk from office. It is also smaller than some of the kitchens of the houses I've lived in (in Bombay it is considered a mid-size I'm told. In Delhi it would be criminal to live there!). No more fancy - only reality now!

I'm happy that I can come home over the weekends and some of the people who've worked with Maersk tell me that it's very laid back. "If you fire in you belly, move out in about a year", they said. Whatever with the fire and the belly (I wonder if that part was a personal remark) but I know this is going to be a challenge I've wanted to face for a long time (Living in Bombay, not working in Maersk).

All I need to now do, is find the closest wine shop!

P.S. Of late I've started receiving a lot of reminders to join facebook. Anyone know how I can get rid of those? Please mail me or leave the solution in the comment section of my blog (better still - use the damn phone).

Which means I'm still going to be "an obstinate mule".

Coincidence.. on the bus

I traveled to Bombay and back in about 10 hours (from the time I left home to the time I reached back). And for the first time I lived the dream of having a person of the opposite sex travel with you. Twice. Yes, a girl sat next to me on my way to Bombay and back! This is the first and second for me.

Strangely, my experience was very similar both times.

Both girls started a random conversation, both pulled out their "pocket mirror" (I'm sure there is a chick jargon for that damn thing) and checked themselves out before they talked to me and both acted hapless about putting their bags on top.

Eventually, both women were talkative, though I tried very hard to sleep.. both of them checked their nails a hundred times.. and both had no idea of how the seat is pulled back to "sleep". Also, both women were wearing perfume that I think I can guess correctly given three chances.

On my part - I'd not slept since the previous afternoon and since I was in that situation, for some reason I was extremely conscious. Which means at the time of writing this, I have not slept for almost 36 hours now.

Too much coincidence for one man.

P.S. Both of them were strikingly ugly. The kind you notice from a mile away and pray they are not seated next to you.

Coming Up..

..coincidence on the bus..

It's going to be worth it!!

Under-rated!

I think I've under rated myself way too often in last one year. Suddenly, now that I'm leaving I have so much energy that most people working with me are surprised! It's the security of not being dependant on something. It's the security of being yourself!

It's good! It's all good..

P.S. Happy anniversary to Rami and I. Two years and she rocks beyond belief! Like I said.. eventually.. It's good.. it's all good!!

My best friend's wedding.

I wonder what took me so long to write this. Let's just say I've been busy living my life.

Gona and Sonali got married on the 16th of Feb. I'm glad I was there. The way things were working out, I was very close to missing it. I missed Tarun's wedding (not that it stopped him from getting married) and I think he would have liked me to be there.

Gona was always the most sorted of us (Vikram, him and I). I'm not surprised that he was the first to take a nose-dive into marital bliss (hopefully). Back in the days all of us had something or another going for us. It made us stand out from the rest. Gona was the type that stood out among people that stand out. I remember thinking that all people have atleast one flaw. Not him. While I have wasted many years with very little to show for, he had his goals set very clearly in front of him (being a footballer may have helped a little here though). Now soon he'll have his own family. Awesome Gona!

Gona also happens to be one of the few close friends of mine that doesn't follow my blog and that I guess helps right now.

I don't think seeing Gona get married affected me in any way. I didn't feel wierd or anything. Maybe when Vikram gets married I will throw that fit! I'm actually sure I will.

Sonali and Gona, All the best for your life!

P.S. I've now known Gona for 17 years. That - is disturbing! :)

It's over!

I've quit my job, finally! After all those months of whining about it. I now go to Bombay (oh sorry MNS.. Mumbai) to join Maersk!

3 1/2 years have gone by quickly. When I look back now, I realise it wasn't so bad after all. I landed myself the most coveted job in a BPO (no, not the CEO) and have certainly learned a lot more than I would have in any other role.

My company did not take it too well though (at least that's what it looked like). It started of quite well actually. My boss, the gentle person that he is, was okay with me leaving. His boss was not. So I had to go through a couple of rounds of retention talk, which I must admit was very tempting and still is and I think I will still stick to my decision of leaving.

Now I need to look for a place to stay in Mumbai and I only get my next salary in the begining of May and considering that the last time I got paid was in the begining of Feb - it sucks! But the final dues should be a whole load of money and the wait is worth it.

It's a new begining. I hope it's as good as I imagine it to be.

February 5, 5:43AM

...Yes it has been ripped off from the Bon Jovi Song.

I can't sleep - it's way too warm and yesterday was freakin' cold. I don't even have anything to say. I've read all of Vikram and Rashmi's blog - nothing new (please update!). Natasha's blog.. hmmm.. now at least someone can keep coming up with interesting reading almost each day - good one! What ever happened to Diyva & Aniruddh? I apologise for the last statement if you've been in a state of comatose since the year began. Barkha - Kebab factory??? Really? My next post should be about the cigarette shop!

I met Gona and Vikram together for the first time in more than a year on Tuesday and it's better I say no more about this. It was a crazy night. No we didn't do anything to make it that way.. it was a series of events that made it like that. So let's just say there was someone very drunk, someone else who had found a person lying in a pool of blood in the middle of road and decided to take them to the hospital (where the first someone also went), someone who dropped his phone somewhere on the road and the cops found it and last someone whose mother was still awake when they came back home trashed! It was all worth it...

The sleep is now setting in...

Oh.. It's my Dad's birthday! Happy Birthday Pa!

Now.. now..

I think my ability to offend people without doing a thing is incredible! I'm beginning to see things around me where I haven't done a thing and people are pissed off. Okay, I may have done something really tiny and unimportant, but the shit works!!

It's so easy to watch people act as if they don't care and you know by some of the stuff they do - that in their heart, what they really want is to rip your head off!

So my friends, try this next time. If you want to piss someone off completely - do nothing, say nothing in fact don't even talk about them. Act like they don't exist. It's called indifference, I know. But believe me - a conspired indifference is a hundred times powerful than the real one!

Kick ass!!!

Finally watched it!

I finally saw Avatar today. I'm sure the earnings talk for themselves but apart from the 3D and cinematography I really thought the movie was okay.

I'm not a great movie critic or anything, actually the very fact that I'm probably the last person to watch this movie in the world (leaving out the people who are below poverty line) should tell you that I'm not a very avid movie watcher either.

This post is just about that!

P.S. Will try to practice some restraint on writing posts about my work. I realise how bad they've got!

Here we go again!

My work's been hell in the two weeks of Jan 2010. It's gone from bad to worse to being in a pool full of shit and you can't swim (yes, I know. That's shitty.). It's really become intolerable! It's one of things that makes you give up on hope. Each morning (afternoon) when I get ready to go to work my body starts starts failing on me. Just the other day something came up and I was so tensed that I actually ended up having loosies!!

My attempts that finding another job have hit a wall too. Somehow nothing seems to go my way. I've even tried prayer (this is being said in a very non blasphemous way)! One option is to screw everything and join Vikram (who is man enough to take the risk and setup his own "creative shop"), but then I know jack of what he does and plus I'm just not the type who'll take a chance (I told you - I'm boring).

But this whole thing has brought out one great quality in me. Ahimsa (Mahatma Gandhi would be so proud)! I've become non-violent, non-reactive, non-responsive, non-man! Not saying Gandhi was non-man - he took out the British and I can't even deal with my fellow country men! Being patient is like knowing that you're still stuck in the pool of shit, you'll eventually get out alive but the smell will stay on you forever! But what the hell, at least you're still alive. So what if you've changed a "little bit". If something doesn't happen fast - that'll be me!

Well, tomorrow is another day towards attaining nirvana through ahimsa (some shit like that).

P.S. I thought this would be good if it reached out a lot of people (not my post, but what I'm saying below)

Vikram as you know is starting his own "creative shop" which will do everything related to creativity. Yes, you guessed it. Ads, write-ups, photos, interior decoration, etc. etc. All he needs is a name. You see when babies are born, they don't come out being "Martin". You first make the baby then the name!

So, be kind and suggest some cool names. You will not receive any royalty incase he picks something you suggest. But surely if you suggest something stupid, Vikram and I will sit next weekend and bitch about you! :)

Resolutions and something like that.

There's not a single person who can say they've never has a resolution. I'm not talking about new years resolution. Just resolution in general. I've made mine. Some I've stuck to, most I can't even remember.

2010 is here. I have no resolution. No sir, not a single thing that I think I need to especially do in this year. Should tell you how satisfied I am with life or how lethargic I've become.

See now I said there isn't something I'd like to "especially" do. Which means there is stuff I would like (people) to do. Top 3 below.

First, I want people to stop having so much pity for themselves. Too many people I know that are feeling too sorry for themselves. I hate having to deal with them (unless I really care, which in my knowing is only 1 person). The attention deficit disorder is fucking giving me a headache. Maybe if your life is so bad you should kill yourself! I'll even try to make it to the funeral!

Second, (I've said this before) stop being pseudo! I'm not a cool person and if I don't try so hard why are you trying so hard with me?? I've accepted with grace that I'm not all that fancy and I'm happy! I spent the new years eve at Vikram's place with people I love most and that is my idea of fun!

Third, because we have the same problem doesn't make us brothers (it's not a fucking club)! I'm just a nice person for listening to you. That doesn't mean you start expecting Christmas cards from me. I have problems and they're as unique as everyone else's and I will deal with them. So thank you but I do not need advise (when I do, I will ask for it).

Tell me, is this too much to ask for?