We, The Indians!

We, The Indians are an absolute rare sample of humanity. Don’t get me wrong yet. Read on and if you look inside you (it’s not so melodramatic) you’ll agree with me.

We are crazily in awe of white skin. Where else in the world do you find “Fair and Lovely”? Most western countries have tanning products!! They even have tanning places. When I was in the US I saw at least 50 of these shops in a small town close to Chicago. It was called “Beach Bum” (the shop not the town). They asked me if we have those in India, I told them that the entire country is “Beach Bum”! Some where inside we (especially the men) know that they love our tan and a lot of people I know have got a lot of booty for it! Yet we all want to be fair…
Let’s not even get into accents. I think it’s like a part of growing up as Indian kids! It’s like some weird hormone takes over at the age of 16 where everyone has a twang or a stiff upper lip! Until they meet someone who has a real accent and then end up speaking with the real Indian accent which the westerners find extremely cute (hot in some cases)! But our obsession with “How ya doin’ maye (mate)” never ends…

We all want to end up working for some non-Indian mutli-national firm. We treat our western counter parts like Gods! Their word is the gospel (and more). But deep inside us we know how stupid they are and how little they know. Math is like an alien language for them. Yet we suck up to them like they are the last hope we have…

Traveling abroad is always so high on every Indian’s agenda and dream. We forget to see the beauty in our own country. We forget we have the mountains, the seas, the deserts and the north-east. Honestly, I didn’t find anything so great about being abroad. Except that it’s very clean and organized and mostly kept that way by the Indians who stay there. I wonder what happens to us in our own country???

I’m not trying to be patriotic here. I’m probably one of the least patriotic people and one of the most likely to leave this country. But I don’t obsess with fair skin, fancy accents, stupid westerners and foreign lands! I like being Indian for reasons that I think only Indians can know (try buying 5 cigarettes in the US). I love the idea of wada-pav and samosas. I love the thought of being able to ride a bike to everywhere without worrying which part of the road I should be on. I love the part where because of my extremely skewed academic system I’m good with numbers. I’m happy my balls don’t freeze every year for three months (those thermals can be very itchy by the way).

I may leave this country but I’ll surely let every one know where ever I am, what Indians are made of!

P.S. I read recently that Indians are residents of all countries in the world, save for 3. I wonder what they’re doing in Somalia.