Hello.. Hellooo.. can you hear me?

While I'm not absolutely against technology, I still believe we've cut our lives way too short. I remember how my mum would wait in a line (when we were kids) to make a phone call to her mum in Simla. That too after 11pm when STD calling was 1/4th the price. Apparently, calling Bombay from Pune back then was more expensive than calling Mogadishu from North Pole today. But then again, I do not expect any people having to call Mogadishu from the North Pole 'cause while they may be the fastest and the strongest, I'm yet to hear of an African person attempt scaling a peak (No offence my braaathers, I know you can hip hop your way into a volcano also).

Now, I can call anybody anywhere within the privacy of my home and not have to look outside (of what looked like a yellow two by two prison) and wonder if someone was pissed off and wanted to take my place in the hell hole instead. And they only had two cumulative hours to do all the talking. (Life was one frustrated bitch). Then somebody decided to slash the STD rates in India and our beggar population (of former phone booth owners) grew manifold. That's when our mobile phones set in. I find it interesting that they're called mobile 'cause they're only "mobile" as long as you pay for it. My dream world has one network with no roaming (national or otherwise), and they only make Blackberry and IPhone (and some Chinese people will still find a way to fit 20 SIM cards into it).

My mom is the least educated person when it comes to a mobile phone. Her come back line has always been "I can cut open a human being, shake him/her up, and then stitch them back.. and they will still live". This is where I accept defeat. Neither can I "shake him/her" nor can I fix a glitch on the mobile phone. With all due respect, I am a slave of technology. I hate it just as much as the African slaves hated their white masters. But we'll all find our NBA and become bigger than them.

P.S. I heard you can now use your mobile phone to unlock you car. Imagine if they had this (and hacking) in 16th century chastity belt era! It would have been one good place.

Are you sure... ?

"Are you sure you want to quit this application"?

So, Bill Gates decided when he created windows, it was worth an ask if someone was very sure of something they wanted to do.

Sometimes I wish life was this way. I wish our creator (or evolution, in your case Vik) would have put this in our head every time we made a decision. May be Bill realised the shortcomings of a human being and said, "You know what, since I am going to be brilliant, let me add a little experience of 17 years to an application I will design". I have come to like that message every once in a while, 'cause I'm just not sure sometimes.

I wish for every decision we make (some so spontaneously), our system would put a message in front of us saying, "Are you sure...". But then again, do we not ask ourselves (sub-consciously atleast), "Am I doing the right thing". So maybe what should have happened is something like this - "Are you sure...", "Seriously, think about it again...", "You're Drunk/You're not listening to your instincts..", "One last chance.. think, think, think...", "I told you so...".

What if we are making the right choice all along? Would this help? Does a click of a button mean same as a decision in life (think about those emails you regretted).

I think with all the evolution that happens, this should be one of the pieces that evolution ought to pick up. Imagine a millennia from now, no one will make a bad decision 'cause "doing this could make you lose important data" or "your system may no longer function in the desired manner" or worst still "Don't say I didn't tell you so".

Let's hope evolution works the way ONE man said it does.

P.S. "Are you sure there is a God"?

Options - Yes, No & Go back, make the right choice (2nd level option).

On special request...

Honestly, I don't have much to say. The fact that I've promoted two sites on my blog in my last 2 posts should tell you that. But then, I've had a request...

I wrote this a while ago.. It was safely tucked away in the corner of my drafts folder which I hope nobody ever finds!

So, Let's turn a leaf (back) and be mean to colleagues and bosses and anyone you come across by virtue of what you do (very hard) for a living...

I'm extremely tired of massaging egos. I've never particularly been good at massage per se but I could maybe 'bend' now and then. Imagine this. You have a person working with you, he does not know his ass from his face and he asks you why you need something when you already said something to the effect of "I'm asthmatic and I need an inhaler". Which is actually my condition. So now I will quote a few discussions. I know I do this a lot, and it's only fun this way.

"Martin, what is the requirement for extra space on the production floor"
(Read the details you fucking retard, the business is growing)"Coz they're adding more people"
"What kind of people"
(The kind where men have 3 balls and women 3 breasts)"I'm sorry I don't understand"
"I mean what kind of people"
(Oh now I understand what you mean)"They need to have a degree in scum management"
"Okay, so why do they need this profile?"
(Really!!)"Actually we've realised there's a lot of scum that needs to be exterminated"
"Ex.. what?"
"Terminated"
"You mean like kill?"
(Dammit you know that word?) "No like termites infesting a place and then you call it terminated"
"Termites are those white ants no?"
"I'm impressed! Even I did not know the color. But I think you may be right"
"What do you mean may be?"
(since you're Einstein's illegitimate offspring)"I think I'm sure"
"Okay so why are there ants on the production floor"
"Mate, we've asked for pest control"
"So why have you sent this request to me and like I said in the first place what is this requirement for?"
"Oh.. I almost forgot about that.. we sent this requirement to you just for information and you are the greatest scum my friend"
"Hey, don't flatter me"
"Flatter? Seriously you know 'flatter'?"
"Yes.. don't make fun of me"
"Yes, of course not. I won't flatter you anymore. Now can you please read the requirements there?"
"The requirements said they're adding people and they need more seats"
"Yea.. that's what I told you in the beginning"
"But you said there were termites"
"I was just playing with you man"
"Playing what?"
"Termite termination"
"What?"
"It's a new game. You won't know about it"
"So are they adding new people or are they getting rid of termites?"
"Read the requirements document (fuck face)"
"Oh, they are adding new people"
"Yes.. how did you figure it out?"
"Arrey Boss, I'm very observant"
"What a coincidence.. so is my friend's dog's ass hole!"
"Who, is also like me"
"Nevermind, by when can you let me know how soon we can do this"
"Sorry man, you need to contact the administration team if you have termites."
"No.. I'm the one that's sorry.. very very sorry.."

Email Later

Hi Martin,

Is this requirement complete? Can I close from my end?

Regards,

Q


Reply - (C.C. to my personal email ID for future motivation when people feel dumb)

Hi Q,

Guess what. We realised there were no termites! We just had to setup additional seats and we did that. Thanks for your (stupidly) untiring support. (Hope you suck cock in hell).

Also, do you know that we bombed Planet Venus yesterday. They're not happy and we're expecting riots in Delhi. So just stay home!

Martin

P.S. As you already know, I've exaggerated. But there's a mail in the personal inbox which I promise to make public very soon. It may even be more than my exaggeration here.

Post Secret

Nice, very nice.

http://www.postsecret.com/

-Thanks Natasha!

Watch this and check the price!

http://aizawlartgallery.com/

Some of the most awesome paintings I've seen! They're so cheap that it doesn't do justice to the talent. Buy now, and let's raise the bar for these amazing artists!

AWESOME!

P.S. I've already decided to buy one.. or many!

The Decent Human Beings win one?

Courtesy Reuters.

Blog Guy, it looks like you’re gloating about something.

You bet I am. The Catalonia region of Spain has just passed a ban on bullfighting, a barbaric activity which I have mocked repeatedly in my blog. I like to think my readers helped tip the balance.

Congrats, Blog Guy. So what were the main factions in the debate over there?

It was the Decent Human Being faction against the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction.

Can you boil down the basic arguments of those two sides?

Sure. The Decent Human Beings felt that slowly torturing an animal to death while bloodthirsty imbeciles cheer in the stands has no place in the 21st century. As for the Pro-Torture and Cruelty faction, their side is so ridiculous it’s not even worth repeating.

Wait, Blog Guy, you owe us a fair representation of both sides. We deserve that.

Oh, okay. Our story quoted bullfighter Serafin Marin as saying, “It’s not a cruel show. Completely the opposite. It’s a show that creates art…”

You’re making that up, right?

It sounds made-up, doesn’t it? I swear it’s true.

But Blog Guy, the great writer Ernest Hemingway wrote about bullfighting, and saw honor and courage in the tradition!

Hemingway was a decent writer, but a deficient human. If there was a dumbass thing to do, he would do it. You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad.

I read that bullfighting is a huge part of Spain’s economy, with tickets earning many millions of euros a year. That’s going to hurt!


Hey, maybe it’s time the Spanish discover movies and cable television, like the rest of us.

And what about all the money made from selling those elaborate matador outfits?

Those silly costumes haven’t been banned. The soon-to-be-former bullfighters in Catalonia can still wear them to the supermarket, to play miniature golf or whatever, if they don’t mind the laughter.

P.S. I just liked the article so much that I couldn't help posting it.
"You can lead a very good life by simply being the opposite of that jerkwad". That's the best. HA HA HA

Lost hope.

I lose hope every now and then and there are people that kick it right back in place for me. Let's just say, I'm not depressive, but yes I need some humans to make me believe ever so often.

I'm a load of bull with an attitude and a gun in my back pocket. And I won't die for someone, I'd kill for them.

Love,

Me