Faithless

Think of all the things you deeply believe in and you realise that they are all in a way taught to you by people you have faith in. No matter how much you think you're 'self made'.

Imagine living all your years looking up those people who you think were your definition of perfect. Imagine wanting to be like them, even if you could only be a little like them.

Now imagine, it taking a minute for you to realise all that was fake. Yes, that is how you lose faith in everything after..

Confrontation and I

I have always been a very non-confrontational kind of a guy. Almost always. In all my relationships I don't think I was ever the fighting/discussion type (almost all). I would rather leave things to get fixed by themselves." Time heals" is my mantra. I didn't realise how much this attitude, that may have only started as escapism (from things I did not want to think about), has actually become my nature. I find my self so often just ignoring things and thinking they will be fixed by some miraculous occurrence but now the shit has begun to pile up. I can feel it. I think what keeps me safe is that I always have a plan. So in a way, while I may not really fight, I have a plan for if it doesn't go my way. If I does then it's just status quo. Isn't it? Now here is the problem. I think people may have figured this about me and are using this against me to take away the things I deserve. They know I may "express" my unhappiness a little, but then I will just go away and get about doing something else. Not anymore! There are few things that are worth fighting and I promise I will fight The Devil himself if I have to for them.

But I must admit, being non-confrontational can be lonely 'cause as far as I'm concerned, if I don't want to deal with it, I don't want to discuss it. With anyone. Sadly, that doesn't stop the planning that comes instinctively, so at some level I'm still thinking about it.

Anyway.

I realise I have written quite a lot (by my usual standards) in the last few weeks. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one. I did book an incorrect flight ticket yesterday, a day after writing my last post and although I realised immediately what had happened, I had to shell out another 1500 rupees to amend my booking. All this in about 5 minutes. So I think I've still not passed the curse over. I also had quite a show down (over the phone) with the dude who hit my parked car (it pisses me off every time I think, "it was PARKED"), and that was mostly because he kept calling me "dear". No, not like "Dear Martin", just "dear". Like, "Listen to me dear...", "My car got hit so many times also dear..", "Blah blah blah.. dear..."!! I was so pissed off, that I swear I would have slapped him if he was in front of me (I told you I'm ALMOST always non confrontational). I know you're probably thinking, it's not that bad, right? Try reading all those sentence again and pronounce it as "dee-errr". Yeah, are you feeling it now??

Finally, I have just realised today, that Facebook may have actually saved me from a whole load of explaining that I couldn't really care about. I wish I could give you details, but trust me, they're not important to discuss.

That's it.

My shit luck!

Of late, I find myself being extremely unlucky a lot of times. Not a very good combination I can tell you (extremely unlucky + a lot of times = you’re fucked!). Yes, I started noticing this with some really stupid things, but as they start becoming bigger, I’m getting that fucked feeling for which I discovered the basic formula.  The other thing I’m beginning to fear is that it’s getting stronger the more I talk about it. It’s like one of those things that feeds on people’s fears (or some other shit).

It started with those football games where every team I supported and spoke about, lost! Once I started noticing the pattern, I decided not to say anything and then the Italians got bitch slapped by Spain (whom I was secretly supporting and no one knew, of course). Then there was the famous “near death experience” I wrote about in my last post and yesterday, I was almost convinced that I’m being unlucky a lot of times and I am hence.. you know what! I watched the first set of the Wimbledon final (it’s no secret that I support Federer) and then I had people texting me and asking me to stop watching it. I decided to provide a little more proof to my theory and drove off back to Bombay. Federer won the next three sets, The Wimbledon and regained world number 1 ranking. Not like that part is news to any one (except my dearest friend Vikram Bhalla maybe).

I was telling people in office about my recent experience with bad luck and laughing about it when the security for the building called to tell me that someone had banged into my car in the parking. SOMEONE HIT MY PARKED CAR!! The audience to my earlier discussion was quite stunned as I was also talking about my “feeds on fears” theory. Now no one will talk to me. Not even that person no one talks to! On further investigation of the events leading up to the incident, the guard tells me, it’s just bad luck! Not like I needed for him to tell me that. The guys that hit the car, offered to fix it but ask me to “adjust”. Whatever the fuck he meant by that. I’m still trying to understand how he managed to hit my little car when it was parked between two cars that are the size of a truck! Bad luck I suppose.

P.S.

Car banger – Boss, sorry. But please adjust.

Me – What is that supposed to mean?

Car banger – My car also got hit so many times and I never found the person who did it.

Me – That was your BAD LUCK! Ha!

There is hope. Yes.

Ageing? Me? No way!

On Thursday, at 1:30am I was still watching the England versus Ukraine game when suddenly I felt this massive pain in my chest and my right hand went completely numb. Yes, I know - WTF! Going by my little knowledge of diagnosis based on symptoms, the right hand was a good sign. I tried to remain calm and first called Rami then Herbert who woke my mum up. My mum, obviously extremely worried gave me a quick round of 20 questions on what I was feeling and then asked me to get a few meds (from the very dependable 24 hour medical store in Bombay, that delivers to your home). Her next set of instructions were for me to call some one who lives close by and let them know I may not see them ever again. That was a joke. She basically wanted to make sure I had someone close by who could take me to the hospital if needed. At this time my pulse was at about 130. 

So at about 2:30am I called a colleague of mine, Jerome, who obviously was sleeping away after a long day of hard work (may be), and he jumped out of bed to come over to my place. I had a difficult time convincing him that I will be alive the next morning and see him in office, but it finally worked. I went to office the next morning, worked the entire day, also drove 4 1/2 hours to Pune the next day and lived to write about it on my blog! The doctor did come over to office on Thursday and after doing a round of quick tests and asking me another set of 20 questions, she said it was gas ('caused by the one I didn't let go - I assume). I don't know if she intended pun. But how does that explain the numbing of my arm?  Well, that was due to the Cervical Spondylosis that I also apparently suffer from. It just got aggravated, possibly by gas(?). Some questions are best left unanswered I guess.


This was last week and I can tell you I'm absolutely fine now save for the Cervical Spondylosis. 

Although not serious, incidents like this do put a little seed of doubt in the mind. Am I really alright? Will I wake up in the morning? Should I drive for four hours straight? Should I drive at all? Most of all, is this all worth it? I know I'm not getting any younger and the sedentary lifestyle I live, it's a miracle I've not had anything serious. Well not yet at least. But a check up is in order soon and I have to admit I will be very nervous before the results come out. Is it possible to fail a blood test?

When I look back, I think this over confidence about my health issues does come from all those years of playing (being a "jock" as Kima put it). I remember inspite of being injured, I would still carry on with torturing myself. It was fun. But how those days come back to haunt me on a cold day. I know what my grandmother (who once fell off a cliff, down about a 100 feet) must feel like. I also think the reason I survive all the punishment I put my body through now (and let me tell you there are several) is because of those years. So at this rate, I should be able to get through a couple of years more before I need the walking stick, hearing aid, pacemaker, insulin shots, etc. The collar on the neck might happen much sooner though!

The good news is, I'm still here. So, smile (or frown if it suits you).

P.S.

Me - Doc, but why was my pulse 130?

Doc - Maybe because you thought you had a heart attack

Me - Oh, you mean like the storm before the calm? (heheheh)
Doc - But your pulse is absolutely fine now. Like the calm before..!!

BITCH!

Shaken, stirred and more

I know it’s been a lifetime since I wrote my last post. I’ve just been lazy and quite content with putting up fleeting thoughts on Facebook. Yes, you read that right and yes, for all those people that got trolled last year, you have been vindicated. I even have 585 friends (fuckin’ hell yeah!). How many do you have, huh?

A lot has happened in the last 5 months (damn, has it been that long?). The last post I wrote was about La Verde and since then, I’ve been to Manila twice again (for 6 weeks the second time), La Verde shut down, relocated and re-opened.  I was present for the shut down but not for the remaining festivities. But the good thing was that because they shut down, I discovered many other places and boy, am I glad I did! People think it’s awesome that I get to travel on my work to foreign lands (they also assume these are full of naked women ready to fall at your feet or… ahem). But honestly it is not all that. When you do travel, almost every single minute of your day is planned and every last drop of blood is sucked out from your body!! Okay, that may be a little too much but it is usually quite hectic and not always fun filled.

So what made me write after so long? I have been following this blog for some time now. Rami recommended it to me. Kima is a Mizo guy that lives in Bombay and after reading some of his stuff today, I really felt inspired to write again. Even if that means it’ll be just this one post. Apart from that, I’ve also been feeling completely betrayed at work, and I would usually hold back on saying something like this in a public forum so you can imagine the extent of my frustration right now. I would like to go into the details of what happened, but I don’t think anyone would be interested in that. Let’s just say, that after having worked my ass off so hard for the last one year, ignoring my near and dear, never having the time (and being absolutely pooped or shitfaced when I do have the time), I have just been let down  so bad. I usually like to think of myself as someone who would pick up the pieces and move on pretty quickly. But not this time, no. I refuse to be tormented by corporate decisions anymore. What am I going to do about it? That I will not mention here, but as with everything else in my life I have a plan and a plan B (and Plan B2!). But worry not, It won’t kill me (or so I hope).

The funny thing is I’ve always had amazing bosses. They have all been amazing human beings but I used to have a team of people working with me at one time and I think I was not a bad human being either, but most importantly I think I was a strong boss. This is what people look for; this is at least what I would look for.

Anyway.

Of late, I’m beginning to feel like age is catching up with me. Yes, I’m going to be 30 in November (*realization - holy shit!) and I still feel like I have so much to do. A lot of my friends, who not too long ago were getting married, now have babies or are pregnant or realizing their marriage is not working and I’m still a long way off square one. And I’m not a commitment phobe (well, not completely at least). To start with, I have started liking veggies, I love watching the news (financial news is orgasmic) and food shows and I cannot cross the road without thinking everyone of the motorists are a part of some conspiracy to knock my behind off the road. The other day I almost wore my trousers till my chest! Is anybody feeling what I’m talking about? The cock up is that people generally say the body ages and not the heart. For me it the other way round**! I FEEL OLD!! I think I’m just going to pick up my walking stick and leave now.

I haven’t stuck to the resolution that I made in the beginning of the year and that is not anything new as far as resolutions go. I remember about 10 years ago I started making resolutions every year for the next 5 to quit smoking. I quit making resolutions after.
More later. Hopefully.

P.S. **If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re built the wrong way

La Verde - A bar away from a home bar!!

Finally, I've got my lazy self to write about what was probably the most interesting part of my stay in Manila. La Verde Bar (I can feel a lump in my throat already). The bar is in one corner or a mall called Festival mall and for most of the people reading this - the mall is probably about 20 times the size of Inorbit in Malad, 30 times the size of Nucleus in Pune and 10 times the size of Macy's in New York! Basically, it freaking huge!! So big that in all my times of visiting it, I would get lost. I never entered and left from the same gate in the mall.

The funny thing is, I very often came to the exit where the bars were. That's probably coz I just closed my eyes and let my Jedi powers lead me to the correct exit :). The Filipinos will always insist that this is not half as big as Mall of Asia - which is the biggest mall around. It's so big that they're considering giving a status of a city! Yes, that was a joke. I would generally go to the mall to exchange money (not coz I was getting drunk so often but coz they always had the best exchange rate and for an Indian man, that rocks!) and I would always control my expenses (again, Indian man) by exchanging only 100 dollars at a time. So, in a nutshell I went there about six times. It did helped that it was a 10 minute walk from the hotel.

I loved the place so much that it's just easy to get carried away and forget what I started talking about. La Verde (another lump in my throat).

Discovering La Verde was complete serendipity. I got back from the office one night (at about 1:15 am) absolutely famished and hoped like most places around my office I would get something to eat at the hotel. Around the office I could eat McDonalds and Jollibees (the Filipino equivalent of McDonalds) 24 hours a day. But, there's only so much bread with chicken/beef cutlets I can eat. The hotel staff told me they shut down at 12:30am (whaaaaat!) and I could go to a place around the corner called Yellow Cab - pizzas and pasta kind of place. Not what I wanted. So the cab guy that drove me to the hotel recommended "Festibaal". He told me there were some bars there where I could get some regular food till early in the morning. I was to find out that early in the morning meant 11:00am!! So off we were to "Festibaal". Until that point, I'd only seen one side of the mall and this dude actually drove me past two red lights to one corner of the mall. I could already hear the music from a distance.

Once I got off, I had a choice of about 10 places I could go to (1:40am) all buzzing with energy. All I wanted was for something to eat and head back. I walked around and picked the place with the cleanest bar seats knowing that I would picked on by the cross dressers if I sat on a regular table. "Sir Martin" had arrived! I sat at the bar and this guy immediately knew I was a foreigner.

"Hello sir, where are you from"
"Mumbai"
"Where is that, sir"
"In India, it's also called Bombay"
"Oh, I know Bombay sir. You drink whiskey there."
"No, actually I only drink Vodka and beer"
"But Indian people like.. Blimpers Bride"
"Blimpers Bride?? Hahahha.. No, Blenders Pride"
"Never mind. Drink San Miguel Lite, very good beer"
(Cross dresser walks on to the stage at 1:50 am)"Okay, give me a pint and your food menu"

The San Miguel Lite came on in 10 seconds and I ordered spicy chicken wings with french fries. The safest thing without bread. The guy at the bar then told me my order would take 20 minutes, which I was okay with, since the big gulp of the awesome San Miguel Lite made me realise a couple more of the lite wouldn't hurt. It was three San Miguels before the food actually came (2:20am) and I ate like a Somali kid..

Once done (about 2:45am, I think), I ordered another San Miguel and the cross dresser had already spotted me as the foreigner in the crowd. The next few minutes could have been hell but thanks to the beer on my empty stomach, I was a little high already. The next few minutes were like this,

"Hello Sir. Where are you from?"
"Bombay" (they don't recognise Mumbai - Yay!)
"Ohhhhh, Bombay, India. Would you like us to sing Jai ho for you?"
"Not really, I don't like that song too much"
"What is your name sir?"
"Martin"
"Martin??? Ohhh, welcome to La Verde, Sir Martin (I could hear bagpipes in my head with a king laying a sword on each of my shoulders, saying, "I pronounce thee, Sir Martin"). My name is Xena (like the warrior princess)"

This was the begining of "Sir Martin". I stayed there till about 4am, eating more French fries and getting picked on by Xena. He/She finished his/her lot and came up and spoke to me. That would be my first friend at La Verde. A 41 year old cross dressing man. I promised I would come back soon and left coz I needed to sleep. On the way out I met they bartender and all he said was, "See you on Friday sir, my name is Jek". I had to go back now.

This was only my first time in this place and it only gets better each time. I'm going to talk about all the friends I made there, including Xena. But I think I've written enough for now. More in the next post! It's going to be worth the wait! :)

P.S.

Xena: Sir Martin, do you like Filipinas?
Me: I have a girlfriend!
Xena: But do you think Filipinas are beautiful?
Me: Yes, but not like I want to do anything about it!
Xena: Sir Martin, Do you think my tits are nice?
Me: I need to go throw up!
Xena: You like them soooo much??
Me: You're disgusting!
Xena: Then you'll like me better in bed!

That was the first time they picked on me after calling me Sir Martin.

It's more fun in the Philippines..

Mabuhay Folks!!

The title is the tag line for the Philippine tourism and I have to say they're not too off. Coming from Bombay,  where a pint of beer costs you 200 rupees to being in Manila where in a good place you'd get it for 47 pesos (almost 47 rupees), you ought to have more fun! The Filipino people themselves are some of the sweetest people you can meet. They make you feel so important and I even got the title of "Sir Martin". It's just an awesome place to be in. But then at some point you do start to miss the food (being the Indian that I am) and home. Given the opportunity though, I would go back, several times!!

Now about my hotel room. First, it was not a room. It's an apartment, complete with a cooking range, a kitchen more functional than the one I have in Bombay, a dining room that reminds me of the days when my mom was still in the army and overall the place was bigger than my house in Bombay. It's another matter that houses in Bombay are the size of a matchbox. The staff down there were just brilliant, or maybe they were just Filipinos. I realised very soon when I walked into the place that I was going to miss it when I leave. And miss it I did! For reasons more than one. To start off, I could see a mall called the Festival Mall right from my room. No, I'm not a fan of malls, but this mall has an entire section in one corner which is full of "bars" as they call it in Philippines. More about the bars later, I also had a hotel cab drive me to and fro from work each day, which I can tell you reduced the stress I encountered in a day by almost half. The other outstanding this about the hotel was that I could smoke in my room - it's outstanding 'cause there are very few places in the world where you can still do that (going by my last travel to the UK).

The bars in the Philippines are mind blowing! Most of them have live music, actually come to think about it, I never saw one where the DJ played all the music. It's bands that come and play all the latest songs and I have to say they are amazingly talented. The other thing is that all these bars usually have cross dressers and/or gay men compering the entire show. I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying but from the crowds reaction I could tell they were hilarious. There was one bar in particular that I frequently visited called La Verde. More about it in my next blog (don't forget the strategy now). Most of the bars are open from 3:00pm (I almost wrote afternoon after pm :p) to 11:00am (you're reading it correct - 11am!!). Yes, that is 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's 15 hours and a day more than most places in Pune are open and just when we thought Bombay and Delhi have a night life, welcome to place where they have and after night life!! I told you - "It's more fun in the Philippines!!" And I already told you that a pint of beer costs 47 bucks here. In India it would not even be legal to get drunk with such little money!! I also made friends at La Verde which meant I could also order anything (even if it was not on the menu) and the chef would specially make it for me. I am "Sir Martin" after all, am I not?

And I know how bad some people reading this post want to know about the girls in Philippines. They are gorgeous!! Thankfully my girlfriend is too - so it was easy not to get carried away. That and the thought that some of them may actually be men! But yes, on the whole the women are beautiful and the straight men are smart. As a community, I think they really know their fashion and pull anything off easily. Much like the north eastern Indians. To be honest their cultures are very similar too.

My next post is going to be dedicated to La Verde Manila and it's awesome people. I spent many good times in my 3 weeks here and unfortunately I have very few pictures to show for it. But I do have someone that is writing a blog on their visit to Manila. I introduced him to the good place as well. So I'm just going to steal some pics off his blog. Till then...