I have always been a very non-confrontational kind of a guy. Almost always. In all my relationships I don't think I was ever the fighting/discussion type (almost all). I would rather leave things to get fixed by themselves." Time heals" is my mantra. I didn't realise how much this attitude, that may have only started as escapism (from things I did not want to think about), has actually become my nature. I find my self so often just ignoring things and thinking they will be fixed by some miraculous occurrence but now the shit has begun to pile up. I can feel it. I think what keeps me safe is that I always have a plan. So in a way, while I may not really fight, I have a plan for if it doesn't go my way. If I does then it's just status quo. Isn't it? Now here is the problem. I think people may have figured this about me and are using this against me to take away the things I deserve. They know I may "express" my unhappiness a little, but then I will just go away and get about doing something else. Not anymore! There are few things that are worth fighting and I promise I will fight The Devil himself if I have to for them.
But I must admit, being non-confrontational can be lonely 'cause as far as I'm concerned, if I don't want to deal with it, I don't want to discuss it. With anyone. Sadly, that doesn't stop the planning that comes instinctively, so at some level I'm still thinking about it.
Anyway.
I realise I have written quite a lot (by my usual standards) in the last few weeks. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one. I did book an incorrect flight ticket yesterday, a day after writing my last post and although I realised immediately what had happened, I had to shell out another 1500 rupees to amend my booking. All this in about 5 minutes. So I think I've still not passed the curse over. I also had quite a show down (over the phone) with the dude who hit my parked car (it pisses me off every time I think, "it was PARKED"), and that was mostly because he kept calling me "dear". No, not like "Dear Martin", just "dear". Like, "Listen to me dear...", "My car got hit so many times also dear..", "Blah blah blah.. dear..."!! I was so pissed off, that I swear I would have slapped him if he was in front of me (I told you I'm ALMOST always non confrontational). I know you're probably thinking, it's not that bad, right? Try reading all those sentence again and pronounce it as "dee-errr". Yeah, are you feeling it now??
Finally, I have just realised today, that Facebook may have actually saved me from a whole load of explaining that I couldn't really care about. I wish I could give you details, but trust me, they're not important to discuss.
That's it.
But I must admit, being non-confrontational can be lonely 'cause as far as I'm concerned, if I don't want to deal with it, I don't want to discuss it. With anyone. Sadly, that doesn't stop the planning that comes instinctively, so at some level I'm still thinking about it.
Anyway.
I realise I have written quite a lot (by my usual standards) in the last few weeks. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one. I did book an incorrect flight ticket yesterday, a day after writing my last post and although I realised immediately what had happened, I had to shell out another 1500 rupees to amend my booking. All this in about 5 minutes. So I think I've still not passed the curse over. I also had quite a show down (over the phone) with the dude who hit my parked car (it pisses me off every time I think, "it was PARKED"), and that was mostly because he kept calling me "dear". No, not like "Dear Martin", just "dear". Like, "Listen to me dear...", "My car got hit so many times also dear..", "Blah blah blah.. dear..."!! I was so pissed off, that I swear I would have slapped him if he was in front of me (I told you I'm ALMOST always non confrontational). I know you're probably thinking, it's not that bad, right? Try reading all those sentence again and pronounce it as "dee-errr". Yeah, are you feeling it now??
Finally, I have just realised today, that Facebook may have actually saved me from a whole load of explaining that I couldn't really care about. I wish I could give you details, but trust me, they're not important to discuss.
That's it.
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