It's more fun in the Philippines..

Mabuhay Folks!!

The title is the tag line for the Philippine tourism and I have to say they're not too off. Coming from Bombay,  where a pint of beer costs you 200 rupees to being in Manila where in a good place you'd get it for 47 pesos (almost 47 rupees), you ought to have more fun! The Filipino people themselves are some of the sweetest people you can meet. They make you feel so important and I even got the title of "Sir Martin". It's just an awesome place to be in. But then at some point you do start to miss the food (being the Indian that I am) and home. Given the opportunity though, I would go back, several times!!

Now about my hotel room. First, it was not a room. It's an apartment, complete with a cooking range, a kitchen more functional than the one I have in Bombay, a dining room that reminds me of the days when my mom was still in the army and overall the place was bigger than my house in Bombay. It's another matter that houses in Bombay are the size of a matchbox. The staff down there were just brilliant, or maybe they were just Filipinos. I realised very soon when I walked into the place that I was going to miss it when I leave. And miss it I did! For reasons more than one. To start off, I could see a mall called the Festival Mall right from my room. No, I'm not a fan of malls, but this mall has an entire section in one corner which is full of "bars" as they call it in Philippines. More about the bars later, I also had a hotel cab drive me to and fro from work each day, which I can tell you reduced the stress I encountered in a day by almost half. The other outstanding this about the hotel was that I could smoke in my room - it's outstanding 'cause there are very few places in the world where you can still do that (going by my last travel to the UK).

The bars in the Philippines are mind blowing! Most of them have live music, actually come to think about it, I never saw one where the DJ played all the music. It's bands that come and play all the latest songs and I have to say they are amazingly talented. The other thing is that all these bars usually have cross dressers and/or gay men compering the entire show. I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying but from the crowds reaction I could tell they were hilarious. There was one bar in particular that I frequently visited called La Verde. More about it in my next blog (don't forget the strategy now). Most of the bars are open from 3:00pm (I almost wrote afternoon after pm :p) to 11:00am (you're reading it correct - 11am!!). Yes, that is 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. That's 15 hours and a day more than most places in Pune are open and just when we thought Bombay and Delhi have a night life, welcome to place where they have and after night life!! I told you - "It's more fun in the Philippines!!" And I already told you that a pint of beer costs 47 bucks here. In India it would not even be legal to get drunk with such little money!! I also made friends at La Verde which meant I could also order anything (even if it was not on the menu) and the chef would specially make it for me. I am "Sir Martin" after all, am I not?

And I know how bad some people reading this post want to know about the girls in Philippines. They are gorgeous!! Thankfully my girlfriend is too - so it was easy not to get carried away. That and the thought that some of them may actually be men! But yes, on the whole the women are beautiful and the straight men are smart. As a community, I think they really know their fashion and pull anything off easily. Much like the north eastern Indians. To be honest their cultures are very similar too.

My next post is going to be dedicated to La Verde Manila and it's awesome people. I spent many good times in my 3 weeks here and unfortunately I have very few pictures to show for it. But I do have someone that is writing a blog on their visit to Manila. I introduced him to the good place as well. So I'm just going to steal some pics off his blog. Till then...

The strategy is now in action!

So, I finally bought an entire carton of Benson & Hedges Special Filter from "Free Duty" to kill that bloody craving! I don't know why I didn't just buy Marlboro. I thought I'd smoked B&H before, but that first drag made me feel like something sucked out all the moisture from my throat. It was almost like I'd smoke a joint! Maybe it was just the cigarette after so long and the obvious dehydration from not drinking water for so long. It's a little weird for my to drink water from those funny taps where the flow of water is actually upwards. It's not the flow of water that bothers me though, it's the position I feel I'm in while trying to take a drink. Try it - you'll know what I mean! Well, I'm now stuck with those cigarettes and I think I'm getting used to them. I'm sure by the time I'm habituated it will be time to get back to Gold Flake Lights! Next time I'll just buy my carton in India instead of trying to be a cheap ass! Lesson learned Misters Benson and Hedges.

Eventually the airline staff did come back to me, the guy actually looked for me till he found me (making a big mistake) in the "Free Duty" area. He handed me my boarding pass and said, "You're visa is okay". I had no energy to fight with the man and conveniently assumed that the Chinese dude probably meant my BAGGAGE was okay. Why would he be worried about my Philippine visa anyway? Not like I was going to stay in his country! He then asked me to accompany him to his desk and I can swear he took the long way around with all the walkways moving in the opposite direction. He even walked like he was wearing roller stakes with me trying to keep up and almost lugging my handbag. Anyway, I reached his desk where he asked me to show him my passport and then gave me my boarding pass (after taking it back from me) and said, "Baggage don't claim"! If this was another country I would have tried to give him my kung-fu super kick!! I then explained to him that he had already wasted a lot of my time and now if I had to go through immigration and collect my baggage and then return, I was sure to miss my flight. To which he said, "Yes, baggage no claim. Go have cigarette and catch flight. Come I show you cigarette place". I'm not making up his sentences, I promise! Finally,  after "seeing" the cigarette place, regretting my decision and with peace in my heart I walked away as far as the airport would allow from mainland China!

I'm was almost 24 hours without sleep and hoped to catch some shut eye before I reached Manila and ran straight to office. On the flight I was seated next to this lady and her plump 5 year old son. (I just think "plump" fits the description of that boy so well). I had the aisle seat and she requested me to take the window seat instead, to which I politely agreed. What I did not think is that why would a lady with a plump 5 year old not want a window seat? As I sat down, I could see this boy trying desperately to look out of the window from the middle seat, so I asked him if he wanted to sit there. His mom didn't allow him to sit there and she said if she did, he wouldn't allow her to rest. Alright. The flight took off and the lady went to sleep like a baby, while the plump 5 year Filipino boy jumped all over me to look out of the window. I could have hit him if he didn't have such a scary looking mother. The little plump dude almost knocked my entire lunch on lap at one time!! I really wish I had like a dart gun with tranquilisers - I would use all my ammo on that boy. And then reload and do it all over again. Eventually, I did not get any sleep, stood in the immigration line for an hour, waited 30 minutes for my baggage (funny it's called that) and finally dragged myself to a cab to the hotel.

The hotel room was such a surprise!! But I'll keep that for my next post.

 P.S. I don't smoke up. I did once and I knew how it felt. Hence, the reference to the joint. Don't be getting ideas!!

Happy New Year and whatever..

My New Year resolution is to update my blog more often. Really.

It's not too much fun when you're writing a post at 8:30am at an Airport Terminal (Hong Kong) without any sleep since yesterday morning (and with a bad hangover), and have no cigarettes and don't want to buy any 'cause your travelling to a country (Philippines) where a packet of Marlboro costs $1 as opposed to having to buy an entire carton of them in what is probably the worlds most expensive "Free Duty". No, that's not a typo - that what the Chinese people call it, "Free Duty". Now whatever in the fuck that means. All this while waiting for one of the Airline staff to confirm if your check-in baggage can be transferred automatically, or if you will need to go through immigration, get a 14 day visa stamped, then collect your baggage, come right back through immigration and walk 1 1/2 kms to the boarding gate. I shit you not! The funny thing about this walk, is that they actually have walkways that move only in the opposite direction!! Who says the Chinese don't have a sense of humor? I think they're fucking laughing at me right now, hiding in those many many corners of the terminal.

But if a land of my fantasy were to exist, I'm quite sure it's somewhere in China.

P.S. The technique is going to be - have short posts and write often, even if you have loads of things to say today, hold it for 5 days later! Let's see how it works!!

So I finally did go through November without venting out on the blog!

A lot has happened since my last post. But I'm not going in to all of it now 'cause it will just be useless rant which excites no one. That is if anyone is still stopping by here at all.

I have to admit, being on facebook has actually taken away the joy of writing here. I miss the bashing - oh wait, "flogging" I could deliver here. Not that I can't do the same on FB but when you have aunts, uncles their aunts and uncles all on your "friends" list you have to be that extra careful. I first thought it was a some sick joke that someone was playing on them by putting up profile of these really old people and then I realised it was them that were playing the sick joke on me! Anyway, I'm not about liking and commenting on everytime someone breaks wind and decides to put it up on FB. But yes, it has become a part of life where people can now successfully "Catch you bro" on FB. (Is my repetition of "FB" making me fit in yet?)

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Well, it's almost the end of they year. My ambition was to get a certain digit salary annually by the end of this year - I did not get it. I guess when you're stuck doing something, you may as well hope you get paid well! The work has been extremely hectic this year, just like it was last year and the year before! But in the current setup of things, I'm not complaining (just in case the boss reads this post).

About the year now - I think it's been a good year on the whole. Nothing bad happened, so it's good!! I can't wait for the next year now, where I hope a lot of things will fall into place and I will turn 30! Don't go imagining things now.

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Richard and Ruati finally got married! I say finally, 'cause only I can tell you the rollercoaster of a relationship it has been. Okay, actually even the two of them can tell you about it! Now that leaves me next. At the wedding, most people came up to me saying that my "path was cleared now" and "you're next" and blah! I had to constantly remind them of how we were celebrating the wedding and not the clearing of some "pathway"! For the older people who said "you're next", I can't wait to meet them at a funeral. Guess what I'm going to say to them! Anyway, It was a great celebration mostly because of all the alcohol involved! And yes "I'm next"!

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What else do you want me write about? :p

I almost forgot my blog!!

Blame it on facebook, where I'm quite "active" as most people say, I have almost forgotten that I have a blog! Not that I have much to say here or on the FB page, but then my usual obsession of not wanting to go through a month without posting comes in to action ever so often! And shit, I'd almost missed the deadline!

Like I said, I don't have much to say, which also usual means that I either do not know where to start or I'm too lazy to say it. This time it may be the latter.

Things I could write about though are

1. Richard getting married (Yes! Really!!)
2. How my non-married status will be the single greatest crime in the history of mankind (in about 28 days)
3. My trip to Manila (and how I will be one more b'day celebration away from anyone that cares)
4. ... And my usual "until now" rant...

But I'll keep that for later.

P.S. Manila is the capital of Phillipines, Manali is the world capital of WEED! I'm going to the former for WORK! The next person that confuses the two (I can't even understand how if you're IQ is above 10 can you do that) will receive a post dedicated to their stupidity. And I promise hyperbole like you've never seen it before!!

My Life..

Working projects is a funny place to be in. Over the last 3 years I have made many acquaintances and even more "enemies". I have days where I'm so free, that I think I can happily get married and have children and even take lessons for them - like my mom did, and then there are days where I don't have time to take a leak 'cause I have 8 hours of conference calls one after another. I can understand all accents from the UK, US and India (except of course, The Geordie) and I sometimes find it difficult to follow what Herbert says!  I meet expectations on most days, that I know I will not meet when it matters! I know while I try so hard, just because of the nature of my work, someone will always be left disappointed. No matter how hard I try or how hard I work. To me this is the life I live and I have chosen. I can now either let my self preservation instincts take over and take it all with pinch of salt or I can let the world and his wife make me feel terrible about my existence and then have nervous breakdown or worse may be have a heart attack or something. The choice I make is very obvious.

Timelines are not the happiest success criteria to have. But for someone who in general has an OCD when it comes to time, I'm in quite a happy place. Sadly, I have work with people who do not feel the same way. Some of them don't even make it to time for the happy hours (That's where somebody invented "Time is money")!! Most people don't understand that I as a project manager am fighting every minute to now make it worth while! Well, I'm tired of doing this now. I may have become a bad friend, a bad son, a bad brother and most of all a bad boyfriend. But above everything, I have also become a bad worker, because no one is satisfied and I'm attempting to fit 48 hours in 24 hours!! But yes, I am hanging in there all by myself and wondering when will everyone understand? I hope they will. I hope they find the time to think about it - if I can use my driving time to make several phone calls, people can use their TV time to think.

I don't hate my role, I don't hate my life. I just don't like my position.

And finally there was a FB account

So I finally do have a facebook account. Most of you are already on my friends list in less than 24 hours, so you do know I'm not fooling around anymore. It's also very nice to know that 34 people have accepted my friend request and a another 14 want to be friends with me! On further investigation of "my profile" I found that my extremely shy girl friend has 225 friends on facebook!! That's 215 more than she has in real life!!! Not that I have a problem with it. Really baby! :)

So as one or two of you may have realised after looking at my extremely flattering pictures, that profile was created by Herbert and a lot of people have fallen for it, which means he will now be very happy with himself for the next 20 years! Herbert, by the way, maybe 21 years old, but let me tell you his shoe size is more than his IQ (shoe size - 10 1/2). And yet, he has managed to pull this off. Well, I have to say I'm quite flattered with all the "requests" I have been receiving, but I'm absolutely annoyed that the alerts are activated on my email and my freaking phone did not stop beeping for like 20 minutes (then it threw up blood and died!).

I did go into the account once to see what it is like to have a FB profile and really I could not be bothered that "Kenneth Dean is now friends with Suraj Kapoor" or that "Tushar M is having a long weekend" or all of that shit. The argument most people have had with me is that "you don't know what it's like". Okay, maybe not completely, maybe only 3%, maybe even lesser, but I'm just going to let Herbert talk to all the people in there for me! I will of course have seeded my spies in there to give me constant reports of what is going on. The first action from that is to get rid of those super awesome pictures of mine.

And yes.. happy "facebooking" with me! Vik, I don't know if you can, but maybe you should direct all those people on my friends list to this post! It'll be fun!!

P.S. That thing I wrote about Rami in the first para, I feel will get me into trouble, so the picture below should help. Yes, I know it's a good picture - that's why I put it up!