I started playing ball when I was 13 and have had the fortune of playing with some of the best players of the game I know (in Pune). These guys have at some time or other said things which would stick in my head for many many years. Some were just incidents. These were simple but great lessons. This will be a rather boring post in comparison to some of the other stuff I’ve written. But it’s my blog and I feel this should have been one of my earliest entries. This is how it’ll flow – I write about the incident and then the lesson I was taught. À la Aesop’s fables.
At age 14 I was playing in what I called my home court. The AFMC. After a couple years I could beat most people at a 3 pointer contest on this court. No, I wasn’t that good by then, it was the practice there. A senior team called the 101 (one-o-one) battalion was playing against the AFMC team while I sat along the sides and watched. The 101 team would always be one of the greatest teams I’d watched playing the game. They were like synchronized dancers. They played the game with the grace of ballet dancers.
When they fell a player short and when a guy from the team asked me if I wanted to join them. I looked at him as if he’d asked me out and nodded my head affirmatively (my heart wanted to say no). Clifford was the probably the best among the team. I played with them for the next 30 minutes or so and I wasn’t even bad. The game was won and we sat down along the side-lines when Cliff turned to me and said, “I’ve seen you play on the other side with those kids – you play well. If you want to be better never play with people of your standard or below. Find better players”. That was lesson 1.
The year was 1998. I was playing in the school team at Pune region. This is where I would meet my most unlikely basketball partner. He and I played on the same team for 5 years. 2 years in school and 3 years in college. Amrit – the baby faced assassin. It was strange – I did not even know his name when we started playing and by the end of it between the both of us we had torn apart the defense of several teams. What I loved about playing alongside him was his ability to sense an improvisation by reading my expressions. We made an awesome two-some (at basketball).
Two years later – Amrit and I joined college together. A personal minor tragedy in the 12th standard results made us thick friends. We walked into the college court with two guys called Anand and Sarang playing 1 on 1. They asked if we “knew” how to play and wanted to join them in a 2 on 2 half court. Race to 20 baskets. We won 20 – 2. Anand and Sarang were the college team captain and vice-captain respectively. We found this out after we’d thrashed them and their ego. “Ignorance is bliss”. That was lesson 2.
I left this one to be the last but this was certainly the most important lesson. Lynell and I were played football with a team called Genesis. The guys decided to play at a local district level basketball tournament the following weekend. This was the summer of 1999. We were 5 guys who were to play the tournament with 2 more people from AFMC. In all a team of 7 to play a “dawn to dusk”. Anyone with any knowledge of the game will tell you having just 7 people, is a very bad idea. The main guys in that team were Sandesh and Suraj. These guys have been friend since they were like kids. They’re about 13 or 14 years older than me and carried the reputation of Stockton and Malone.
I’m going to cut this one short (realizing it is in fact very boring). So we reached the semi-finals of this tournament where we played 101. Sandesh sat by the side eating bananas before the game and asked me to chill. “Marange” is what is he said. This was a team of demi gods he was talking about. Sure enough we beat them by 1 point. I’d meet Clifford the next day and he told me Sandesh taught him and almost everyone else on the team how to play when they were kids. “Don’t teach daddy (respect the experience)”. That was lesson 3.
I can’t say I apply any of these to my everyday life. The game taught me a lot of things. The most important ones being to never give up and always have a strategy.
To think about it – basketball as a game teaches you not to use your strengths so much as to use your opponent’s weakness to win. Strange - it never occurred to me in all these years.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Last 5 posts
The last 5 posts were written from Vikram's house on Vandana's laptop! Vandy by the way is Vikram's sister.
The internet never seems to work at home when I want it to.
Well.. Vikram's ankle is hurt and so he won't drink. I only wish Vik you would have played some sport and then a twisted ankle would not have been worth so many posts on your blog. Get over it!
Anyway.. Get well soon.. We need to get trashed next weekend! Cheers!
The internet never seems to work at home when I want it to.
Well.. Vikram's ankle is hurt and so he won't drink. I only wish Vik you would have played some sport and then a twisted ankle would not have been worth so many posts on your blog. Get over it!
Anyway.. Get well soon.. We need to get trashed next weekend! Cheers!
I miss you..
I miss you very much. I wake up and go to bed with this feeling. Though I may smile and laugh and seem to have a good time, you’re always in the back of my head. I never stop thinking about you.
I remember so many things about you that now I realized how much I could have loved you if only I knew then what I’d feel today. I only wanted you to be a little better.
I miss your innocence and the simplicity in your life. Nothing was complicated about you – I only understand now. You had the biggest heart. You’re parents were so proud of you. You have the greatest friends in the world and I can only be thankful to God, they’re still around you.
What I loved most about you was how you never cared about little things. Your hair was a mess and you know it – but you knew you were still attractive. You may not have been the best looking person but you walked without a care. You cared so much about your family and they trusted you with their life. Your life revolved around the simple pleasures of Ice-cream and Friday evening movies. The girls and boys appreciated you just as much while you remained yourself.
I remember so vividly the times you’d be by yourself and still feel complete. I know now why you were always so happy. You never needed anyone, but you always had someone.
I wish I could be like you. But I know I will never be. No matter how hard I try, I look back and realize you were still a step ahead. I questioned you so many times back then but today I know you were always right. You may have seemed immature then but I can’t remember a wrong decision you made.
Today, I can only wish I could go back and tell you that you were right. I know how you felt those days when you were made to believe you were wrong. You’re ambitions were good, you’re heart was clean and you loved without repent. I want to say thank you for being in my thoughts, so I can still look back and ask myself what you would do when times were bad. I know not too much has changed – all I have to do is ask you.
I really miss you so much Martin at age 16.
P.S. Think about it!
I remember so many things about you that now I realized how much I could have loved you if only I knew then what I’d feel today. I only wanted you to be a little better.
I miss your innocence and the simplicity in your life. Nothing was complicated about you – I only understand now. You had the biggest heart. You’re parents were so proud of you. You have the greatest friends in the world and I can only be thankful to God, they’re still around you.
What I loved most about you was how you never cared about little things. Your hair was a mess and you know it – but you knew you were still attractive. You may not have been the best looking person but you walked without a care. You cared so much about your family and they trusted you with their life. Your life revolved around the simple pleasures of Ice-cream and Friday evening movies. The girls and boys appreciated you just as much while you remained yourself.
I remember so vividly the times you’d be by yourself and still feel complete. I know now why you were always so happy. You never needed anyone, but you always had someone.
I wish I could be like you. But I know I will never be. No matter how hard I try, I look back and realize you were still a step ahead. I questioned you so many times back then but today I know you were always right. You may have seemed immature then but I can’t remember a wrong decision you made.
Today, I can only wish I could go back and tell you that you were right. I know how you felt those days when you were made to believe you were wrong. You’re ambitions were good, you’re heart was clean and you loved without repent. I want to say thank you for being in my thoughts, so I can still look back and ask myself what you would do when times were bad. I know not too much has changed – all I have to do is ask you.
I really miss you so much Martin at age 16.
P.S. Think about it!
Rubbish!
Some people just don’t stop talking. Somehow this breed doesn’t even pick up hints too well and they’re all extremely irritating. I think there must be a common gene for these traits. Shweta – I wonder if that research fits your job profile?? I’m sure you could get that Nobel Prize – and it should come under the category of “peace”!
The stories I hear from these types are not so bad. It’s just the narrator. How I wish that one murder was allowed. I guess the solution can only be sustained for so long (refer Bored Shitless Too). After that the killer instincts will break out and run all over the place as if King Kong was chasing it! What is particularly interesting is the flowery language they use. Honestly, I don’t understand half the words, which doesn’t mean I’m stupid, which mean we are not having a conversation. I may as well be spoken to in Jupitarian! See, I’m not a fancy guy with a vocab of 50 million words. I understand and speak plain and simple English and, “Shakespeare, I’m sure I’m pretty easy to communicate with”. Please leave me alone!!
I don’t really give a shit about what happened to the Lehmann Brothers. (Though I know what happened). That story about Russians and the pencil in space is not true. Please, for the sake of Mother Mary, get your facts right. Sometimes, those very few times, a person may just know you’re bull shitting. By the way, when you say you don’t know who Roger Federer is – you’re not portraying a very smart person. No, he’s not the owner (or founder) of FedEx (though that’s his nick) and FedEx stands for Federal Express. Notice? Federal… Federer... No relation. And I seriously doubt that Federal maybe a person’s name. But since I’m not sure I won’t comment. Read the previous line again, PLEASE!
I agree I’m an extremely boring person. I know I can’t really make conversations and I’m not cool either. But hey look – I’m standing by myself in the corner with a smile on my face. This means I must be happy. Where did I party last week-end? Nowhere. I don’t party. Wondrously, the smile hasn’t gone and does paying 12,000 bucks for a pair of Ferragamo (yes, I know Ferragamo) shades make you look any less stupid?
Since, I’m a nice person I will not say these things to your face. But I do recommend you stop pushing your luck.
Enough said.
P.S. The Russians never took a pencil in space. Imagine having to sharpen the damn thing up there. An old myth. Very inspiring, but still a myth.
The stories I hear from these types are not so bad. It’s just the narrator. How I wish that one murder was allowed. I guess the solution can only be sustained for so long (refer Bored Shitless Too). After that the killer instincts will break out and run all over the place as if King Kong was chasing it! What is particularly interesting is the flowery language they use. Honestly, I don’t understand half the words, which doesn’t mean I’m stupid, which mean we are not having a conversation. I may as well be spoken to in Jupitarian! See, I’m not a fancy guy with a vocab of 50 million words. I understand and speak plain and simple English and, “Shakespeare, I’m sure I’m pretty easy to communicate with”. Please leave me alone!!
I don’t really give a shit about what happened to the Lehmann Brothers. (Though I know what happened). That story about Russians and the pencil in space is not true. Please, for the sake of Mother Mary, get your facts right. Sometimes, those very few times, a person may just know you’re bull shitting. By the way, when you say you don’t know who Roger Federer is – you’re not portraying a very smart person. No, he’s not the owner (or founder) of FedEx (though that’s his nick) and FedEx stands for Federal Express. Notice? Federal… Federer... No relation. And I seriously doubt that Federal maybe a person’s name. But since I’m not sure I won’t comment. Read the previous line again, PLEASE!
I agree I’m an extremely boring person. I know I can’t really make conversations and I’m not cool either. But hey look – I’m standing by myself in the corner with a smile on my face. This means I must be happy. Where did I party last week-end? Nowhere. I don’t party. Wondrously, the smile hasn’t gone and does paying 12,000 bucks for a pair of Ferragamo (yes, I know Ferragamo) shades make you look any less stupid?
Since, I’m a nice person I will not say these things to your face. But I do recommend you stop pushing your luck.
Enough said.
P.S. The Russians never took a pencil in space. Imagine having to sharpen the damn thing up there. An old myth. Very inspiring, but still a myth.
The Death of Innocence
“As innocent as a lamb”. Mind you, not sheep but lamb.
They say children are God’s angels on earth and then they figure the earthly ways. I love babies (when they belong to other people) and the thing I love the most about them is their innocence (though there was that kid from Omen too). It’s amazing how a baby will smile at an absolute stranger and even land them a free peck from time to time. They don’t worry about the next day and play with their own toes (an adult playing with other people’s toes is not in the same category). Everything about them makes me so happy. Then they start growing up…
Kids between ages 3 to 6 are by far the most annoying (of angels). They’re still innocent but you can see the way they will look at the opposite sex. The seeds of trouble have been sown. They have questions about everything. The most annoying ones being with “Why”.
Kid – Why do birds fly?
Adult – Because they have wings (and hollow bones and by law of aerodynamics their structure is perfect for flight)
Kid – Why do they have wings?
Adult – Because God gave them wings (kids never ask you “who is God”. Think about it)
Kid – Why did God give them wings?
Adult – Because he wanted them to fly
Kid – Why didn’t God give me wings?
Adult – ??? (because you’re irritating!!) Look, Ice-cream… which one will you have?
Kid – Chocolate. Why is chocolate brown?
Adult – Look.. balloons!!
I had the fortune of being a prefect in school for a Kindergarten class and I’ve done it all from tying shoe-laces to pulling down the zipper so they could take a pee. Nothing compares to the questions! Innocent they are, nevertheless.
Ages 7 to 10 are the most interesting. They’ve just learnt from playing doctor that women and men are in fact different. I’m not even going to mention the questions that I’ve heard from this age group which is suddenly very interested in anatomy. You would think that everyone of these little rascals is going to be a doctor when they grow up (all the little boys will be gynecologists!). They run around the entire day and the fake fighting tells you the sounds our ancestors may have made in order to communicate (boosh, awww, ah-dish, etc.). All of them are freakin’ descendants of Bruce Lee. Innocence slowly dying... it must be a house-fly!
Now comes the hard part – puberty and boy bands. Ages 11 to 15. This is the most confused of the lot. They think they’re teenagers but don’t have a clue of how to act. They’ll even talk to a 25 year old with this sense of confidence that would put Lara Croft & Indiana Jones (put together) to shame. Scrap books, Friendship bands, boy band CDs, porn CDs are some of their paraphernalia. The porn CDs exist and if you have brothers or sisters of this age look under their mattress. The girls start “growing” and the men are enamored. (Oh look... the “sapling” of trouble!) The first relationships, plan of living together always, ice-cream and coffee, chick-flicks, Nikes, rock metal tees and the ugly first few facial hair (for boys and some girls too!). The innocence is dead. The reason? Those bleeding hormones. (Bleeding I realized is a very sensitive term here. It’s been used in the same context as bloody, so don’t get me wrong)
Welcome now to the worst phase of the lot. After this phase you find a job, hardly have a life, think about how cute babies are and then write a blog entry about it. Some people go to the extent of reading the entry.
Ages 16 to 21. Anatomy and Biology learnt (from friends). Chemistry experienced. My favorite group. They all have very cool ambitions and usually have a hobby which relates to things that did not even exist 3 years ago. They’ve realized boy bands are gay and now listen to the same guys who have gone solo realizing they were gay! They’re so technologically savvy that I’m sure they’d actually outplay me in basketball because they already know all the tricks from NBA 2008. A lot of them are borderline obese but the hair is still spiked. I wonder if like vertical strips the spiked hair makes one look thinner. The ionic bond between cool bikes and hot babes confuses me. There’s no such thing as personality at this age. The innocence was long dead. They’re probably “creating” innocence. But after everything said, they grow up the quickest. I think I personally learnt most at this stage of my life. A Broken heart and rock music can teach you so much.
P.S. Ages 21 to 25 – I’ve realized these were the most beautiful years of my life… I wish I could live them again, even if it was just for a day. Hence, I’m not going to make any smart comments about this age group.
Age 26 onwards – They mostly have married friends. The one’s that are not married usually have nagging parents. The one’s who have neither, are on drugs!!
They say children are God’s angels on earth and then they figure the earthly ways. I love babies (when they belong to other people) and the thing I love the most about them is their innocence (though there was that kid from Omen too). It’s amazing how a baby will smile at an absolute stranger and even land them a free peck from time to time. They don’t worry about the next day and play with their own toes (an adult playing with other people’s toes is not in the same category). Everything about them makes me so happy. Then they start growing up…
Kids between ages 3 to 6 are by far the most annoying (of angels). They’re still innocent but you can see the way they will look at the opposite sex. The seeds of trouble have been sown. They have questions about everything. The most annoying ones being with “Why”.
Kid – Why do birds fly?
Adult – Because they have wings (and hollow bones and by law of aerodynamics their structure is perfect for flight)
Kid – Why do they have wings?
Adult – Because God gave them wings (kids never ask you “who is God”. Think about it)
Kid – Why did God give them wings?
Adult – Because he wanted them to fly
Kid – Why didn’t God give me wings?
Adult – ??? (because you’re irritating!!) Look, Ice-cream… which one will you have?
Kid – Chocolate. Why is chocolate brown?
Adult – Look.. balloons!!
I had the fortune of being a prefect in school for a Kindergarten class and I’ve done it all from tying shoe-laces to pulling down the zipper so they could take a pee. Nothing compares to the questions! Innocent they are, nevertheless.
Ages 7 to 10 are the most interesting. They’ve just learnt from playing doctor that women and men are in fact different. I’m not even going to mention the questions that I’ve heard from this age group which is suddenly very interested in anatomy. You would think that everyone of these little rascals is going to be a doctor when they grow up (all the little boys will be gynecologists!). They run around the entire day and the fake fighting tells you the sounds our ancestors may have made in order to communicate (boosh, awww, ah-dish, etc.). All of them are freakin’ descendants of Bruce Lee. Innocence slowly dying... it must be a house-fly!
Now comes the hard part – puberty and boy bands. Ages 11 to 15. This is the most confused of the lot. They think they’re teenagers but don’t have a clue of how to act. They’ll even talk to a 25 year old with this sense of confidence that would put Lara Croft & Indiana Jones (put together) to shame. Scrap books, Friendship bands, boy band CDs, porn CDs are some of their paraphernalia. The porn CDs exist and if you have brothers or sisters of this age look under their mattress. The girls start “growing” and the men are enamored. (Oh look... the “sapling” of trouble!) The first relationships, plan of living together always, ice-cream and coffee, chick-flicks, Nikes, rock metal tees and the ugly first few facial hair (for boys and some girls too!). The innocence is dead. The reason? Those bleeding hormones. (Bleeding I realized is a very sensitive term here. It’s been used in the same context as bloody, so don’t get me wrong)
Welcome now to the worst phase of the lot. After this phase you find a job, hardly have a life, think about how cute babies are and then write a blog entry about it. Some people go to the extent of reading the entry.
Ages 16 to 21. Anatomy and Biology learnt (from friends). Chemistry experienced. My favorite group. They all have very cool ambitions and usually have a hobby which relates to things that did not even exist 3 years ago. They’ve realized boy bands are gay and now listen to the same guys who have gone solo realizing they were gay! They’re so technologically savvy that I’m sure they’d actually outplay me in basketball because they already know all the tricks from NBA 2008. A lot of them are borderline obese but the hair is still spiked. I wonder if like vertical strips the spiked hair makes one look thinner. The ionic bond between cool bikes and hot babes confuses me. There’s no such thing as personality at this age. The innocence was long dead. They’re probably “creating” innocence. But after everything said, they grow up the quickest. I think I personally learnt most at this stage of my life. A Broken heart and rock music can teach you so much.
P.S. Ages 21 to 25 – I’ve realized these were the most beautiful years of my life… I wish I could live them again, even if it was just for a day. Hence, I’m not going to make any smart comments about this age group.
Age 26 onwards – They mostly have married friends. The one’s that are not married usually have nagging parents. The one’s who have neither, are on drugs!!
Not Cool!
I’m writing this post in office. It’s 1:30am. I came to office at 2:30pm – that’s 11 hours! I’m waiting for someone’s very unproductive meeting to be over so I can have another very unproductive meeting with them on a Friday night. Here’s what’s bothering me – If I had 5 minutes with the person, I’d finish my shit and they could carry on with their “I don’t have a life” meeting.
Anyway, I was just surfing (what ever the internet policy of my organization allows me to) & I stumbled upon the blog of a person who is the name sake of a very good friend. It’s strange, just by the choice of words and language how I could have very easily thought this girl (whose blog I was reading) was my friend. But obviously from the contents I figured this was just somebody else with a very strange likeness to someone I know. (I’ve just proof read this paragraph and realized how much easier it would have been if I’d just used names).
The post that I read was about some girl who was with her in college and would be physically and verbally abused by some guy who she stuck with for 3 years. It brought back to me a very intense conversation that Vikram, Tarun and I once had about how women tend to hang on to men that treat them like shit. I haven’t really thought about that conversation after that time – but suddenly I realize I do know girls that would fit this. I’m not generalizing here – please note.
The question is, why do girls stick with men who treat them badly? I think what really happens is that these men are obviously real players – who first make the girl fall for them head over heals. Once they know the girl loves them, a certain amount of reverse psychology sets in. Since these guys fool around a lot – they somehow end up believing that the woman is doing the same. Then comes the thrashing (read physical abuse). But it’s already too late for the girl ‘cause she’s in love with this guy.
What happens next is even worse. The girl finally musters up the courage to walk out on this guy, leaving him feeling ever so worse about himself. (I’ve heard a lot of these men have small things – wonder if that overworks the aggressive hormone. I’ll never know!). She finds a nice guy that loves her and treats her well. But for some reason this woman can’t really adjust to this anymore (read gets bored) and she leaves him too. This guy now turns into the first guy – who will hereafter be abusive in some way or another.
So well, this goes on. It’s like evolution happening 64X. Soon we’ll have a whole load of women beaters and men haters and we’ll all be unhappy.
It’s now 3:30am. I left for a while to finally get my 15 minutes. Very unproductive (in business not biology terms) 15 minutes.
There’s a way out of all this. Women should accept the beating gracefully!
P.S. I know how much flak I’m about to receive for that last statement. TRY SAYING IT TO MY FACE WOMAN! (Knuckles cracked, Sleeves pulled up & taking the Kung-fu kick stance)
All you women, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s just random rambling. 4:02am (Yawn).
Anyway, I was just surfing (what ever the internet policy of my organization allows me to) & I stumbled upon the blog of a person who is the name sake of a very good friend. It’s strange, just by the choice of words and language how I could have very easily thought this girl (whose blog I was reading) was my friend. But obviously from the contents I figured this was just somebody else with a very strange likeness to someone I know. (I’ve just proof read this paragraph and realized how much easier it would have been if I’d just used names).
The post that I read was about some girl who was with her in college and would be physically and verbally abused by some guy who she stuck with for 3 years. It brought back to me a very intense conversation that Vikram, Tarun and I once had about how women tend to hang on to men that treat them like shit. I haven’t really thought about that conversation after that time – but suddenly I realize I do know girls that would fit this. I’m not generalizing here – please note.
The question is, why do girls stick with men who treat them badly? I think what really happens is that these men are obviously real players – who first make the girl fall for them head over heals. Once they know the girl loves them, a certain amount of reverse psychology sets in. Since these guys fool around a lot – they somehow end up believing that the woman is doing the same. Then comes the thrashing (read physical abuse). But it’s already too late for the girl ‘cause she’s in love with this guy.
What happens next is even worse. The girl finally musters up the courage to walk out on this guy, leaving him feeling ever so worse about himself. (I’ve heard a lot of these men have small things – wonder if that overworks the aggressive hormone. I’ll never know!). She finds a nice guy that loves her and treats her well. But for some reason this woman can’t really adjust to this anymore (read gets bored) and she leaves him too. This guy now turns into the first guy – who will hereafter be abusive in some way or another.
So well, this goes on. It’s like evolution happening 64X. Soon we’ll have a whole load of women beaters and men haters and we’ll all be unhappy.
It’s now 3:30am. I left for a while to finally get my 15 minutes. Very unproductive (in business not biology terms) 15 minutes.
There’s a way out of all this. Women should accept the beating gracefully!
P.S. I know how much flak I’m about to receive for that last statement. TRY SAYING IT TO MY FACE WOMAN! (Knuckles cracked, Sleeves pulled up & taking the Kung-fu kick stance)
All you women, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s just random rambling. 4:02am (Yawn).
Notes to Myself
Notes to myself over the many years written in a very random manner to avoid giving out the pattern of how priorities change
Never take up anything that involves studying history
Walks are not romantic in the summer
Trust people, as long as they’re not pretty, rich, intelligent, smart, ambitious or read Mills and Boon
Never again ask the meaning of queef in a public place
Don’t try to see how long you can sustain the “sleeper hold”
Quit
One for the road is a bad idea when you’re driving at 5pm
Eat more
Never ignore a failing zipper, especially if it’s on the trousers you wear to school on the day you are to speak in assembly
Lose touch with certain individuals
Don’t get her to be friends with your ex when you know damn well they’ll get along
Don’t call people “cock-eyed” to their face when you’re not sure if they’re faking it
6am in December is a very bad time to prove your love for someone
Twisted ankle takes more than 3 days to heal
Don’t pull out an eye lash from someone else’s eye when you have shaky hands
People get blind very easily
Don’t assume your sneeze will bring nothing out
Old ladies don’t stop while crossing the road even if you’re riding at 60KMPH
Mongols are not retarded
Delhi Sucks!
Never let chemistry get in the way (with reference to the subject, not the expression)
If she hates everyone except you, she’s lying
If she loves you the most in the world, she’s lying
Putting a pencil between your finger and then slamming your hand down on the table really really hurts
Potassium Cyanide looks exactly like sugar
It’s not alright to make PMS jokes when it’s that time of the month for her
Some people are overtly sensitive – avoid telling them if one is for sorrow why can’t two be sorrow doubled
Don’t sip beer and answer a question at the same time – it can result in choking which in turn can result in you spraying the beer on a persons face
Babies don’t know that they can’t pee on your suit
Don’t regret but don’t forget either
Ask what you’re eating at someone else’s house
Some people eat snails
If you miss someone may be you should let them know – if you don’t you should surely let them know!
Let it go
People can sneak into your blog – be careful what you say
(And last but not the least) It’s not my problem!
Never take up anything that involves studying history
Walks are not romantic in the summer
Trust people, as long as they’re not pretty, rich, intelligent, smart, ambitious or read Mills and Boon
Never again ask the meaning of queef in a public place
Don’t try to see how long you can sustain the “sleeper hold”
Quit
One for the road is a bad idea when you’re driving at 5pm
Eat more
Never ignore a failing zipper, especially if it’s on the trousers you wear to school on the day you are to speak in assembly
Lose touch with certain individuals
Don’t get her to be friends with your ex when you know damn well they’ll get along
Don’t call people “cock-eyed” to their face when you’re not sure if they’re faking it
6am in December is a very bad time to prove your love for someone
Twisted ankle takes more than 3 days to heal
Don’t pull out an eye lash from someone else’s eye when you have shaky hands
People get blind very easily
Don’t assume your sneeze will bring nothing out
Old ladies don’t stop while crossing the road even if you’re riding at 60KMPH
Mongols are not retarded
Delhi Sucks!
Never let chemistry get in the way (with reference to the subject, not the expression)
If she hates everyone except you, she’s lying
If she loves you the most in the world, she’s lying
Putting a pencil between your finger and then slamming your hand down on the table really really hurts
Potassium Cyanide looks exactly like sugar
It’s not alright to make PMS jokes when it’s that time of the month for her
Some people are overtly sensitive – avoid telling them if one is for sorrow why can’t two be sorrow doubled
Don’t sip beer and answer a question at the same time – it can result in choking which in turn can result in you spraying the beer on a persons face
Babies don’t know that they can’t pee on your suit
Don’t regret but don’t forget either
Ask what you’re eating at someone else’s house
Some people eat snails
If you miss someone may be you should let them know – if you don’t you should surely let them know!
Let it go
People can sneak into your blog – be careful what you say
(And last but not the least) It’s not my problem!
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