Saturday, April 16, 2011

What living alone does

I'm becoming strangely comfortable living alone. So much that now it has begun to bother me (and not that there's any problem). A regular day in my life is wake up, bathe (etc.), drink my coffee/tea, go to office (I don't think it is important to include "get ready" as I expect people to assume that), come back in the evening, bathe, do dishes from last night, watch TV while drinking (or the other way around), eat dinner and sleep! This routine has not changed once in the last 6 months! Maybe it's my love for predictability that is now making me so comfortable. Nevertheless, it is a little disturbing now 'cause I almost never go out during the week in Bombay. All I want to do is go "home" and be all by myself!

It's not like I have become a loner, more like I once mentioned about being alone and not lonely. I absolutely love the "me" time and I hate the thought of giving it up for anything. The other day, I had to go out with people from office and I kept having this feeling inside my chest of something gone horribly wrong. Something like me not being able to just have the evening to myself. Some people have come to the conclusion that I have a problem and I should maybe get married - I'm not even going to tell you the things I say to those people in my head.

I love the thought of my house being mine alone! So much that I don't even answer the doorbell if it's rung before 10am! If there is anyone or anything important they will ring the bell again and I still won't answer if I don't feel like it!

Nevertheless - the thought of coming back to Pune EVERY weekend is really what keeps me going.

I am monarch of all I survey,
My right there is none to dispute;
From the centre all round to the sea,
I am lord of the fowl and the brute.
- The solitude of Alexander Selkirk
P.S. I started writing this post on Wednesday in office and just then a colleague of mine asked me to go with him drinking. I did. It wasn't so bad!

1 comment:

  1. If nobody walks with u then u walk alone ! And same way if u are feeling lonely put the akon song lonely listen to fav music u will feel better never stop sharing ur thoughts but never keep inside anything that will only hurt shout aloud , share ur feelings , cry out if u want to , there is nothing better than putting ur head on ur moma lap and forget this world for sometime and give urslef nice treat here and now keep yourself happy do what u want to do, forgot the put the commas oh shit it's me again Lonely ness only kills u if u dont share or talk to anybody :-)))